When the Sun Burns Out
by sunlitsadness
Summary: He was my sun. But he was also the only reason I had any warmth of my own. Without him, I wondered how long I had before my light went out. I wondered if his would go out without me, and if I would feel it. I bet I will. I bet it's going to hurt. I bet it's going to hurt worse than this.
1. Chapter 1: Screw Taking it Slow

_Chapter One- Jacob_

The sky was a brilliant white that ignored the sunrise completely. My patrol shift ended at dawn, so I watched the night sky transform from dark grey to a lighter shade of grey, and now to white.

After running home to shower and let my dad know I was alive, I headed to the Cullens. What I probably should've done was get some sleep, but Renesmee would be waiting, and there was no way my mind could turn off without having seen her in twelve hours.

I opened the Cullen house's front door, not bothering to knock. I don't even remember the last time I knocked. Seth didn't even knock anymore.

"Hello, Jacob." Alice flitted past me, a vase of tall flowers in her hands.

"Hey," I nodded to her. "Is Ness—"

"I'm here," Nessie poked her head down the corner, at the top of the staircase. "Just give me a sec," She flashed me a smile and then disappeared again.

I wandered into the living room, where Jasper had his nose in a book and Emmett was playing Xbox. "Just a heads-up, Jake," Jasper muttered without looking up, "She doesn't really want to go today."

I frowned. Nessie hasn't hunted in almost a week. She likes to go alone, but Edward had asked me to take her today. "Why not?"

He shrugged. "I don't know; she'd never say anything though. She knows Edward wouldn't let her skip it again."

This was true. Edward was adamant on Nessie hunting regularly, and she pretty much does what he asks her to. But _I_ wouldn't—couldn't—make her go. I scratched the back of my head. "So, give her some space?" I half-guessed, and Jasper nodded.

"Good luck." Emmett chuckled.

"Are you hungry, Jacob?" Esme asked me, already headed into the kitchen.

"Starving," I groaned, following her. My answer has never been no.

She pulled a plate out of the oven and held it out to me. I took it, and I must've looked confused, because she smiled and said, "Seth has already been here for breakfast. Yours has been waiting for you since five this morning."

I laughed. That wasn't surprising. For as much as I was tolerated in this household, Seth's presence was genuinely enjoyed.

"Thanks, Esme." I dove into an omelet that took up the entire plate.

"Ready?" Renesmee skipped into the kitchen, dressed like we were headed out into the Arctic tundra. I crunched a piece of bacon and stared at her, and she rolled her big brown eyes up at me. "It's cold outside, Jacob."

"Not sub-zero temperature-cold, Nessie."

She ignored me a wrapped a scarf around her neck. "Bye, Grandma," She kissed Esme's cheek and motioned for me to hurry up. I swallowed the last bite of egg and Esme took the plate out of my hands and opened the door for us.

"Be careful, please." She kissed the side of Nessie's face on our way out.

"We will," Ness promised, flashing her stunning smile again.

It didn't really matter what she said; she could be telling you that she crashed your car, but if she smiled when she said it, you'd believe that everything was perfect.

"Where're your parents?" I asked, as she gripped my arm to keep steady on the icy driveway.

"Home," she shrugged. "I headed to the main house early; they stayed." She let go of me to tuck a curl behind her ear, and her next step resulted in both feet slipping from under her. She let out a little gasp, and I wrapped an arm around her waist and held her upright before she could land on the icy rock surface.

"Thank you," she laughed, flushing pink.

"Don't mention it."

We crossed the long driveway and onto a pathway that would take us deep into the forest; a path we could both follow with our eyes closed.

"It is _way_ too cold for this," She complained, her voice muffled by the scarf wrapped tightly from her neck to her chin.

Tugging her winter hat down so it covered her pink ears, I said, "It isn't _that_ cold." Actually, it was pretty cold. Our warm breath was like clouds in the frigid air.

"Fine," she grumbled, trudging through the snow. "Let's get this over with. Don't phase; I'm making this quick." After gathering her long curls into a mess on top of her head, I watched as she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, waiting for a scent to hit her. When one did, Nessie was a blur of motion. She sprinted through the woods, weaving gracefully around the spruce trees as her leather boots crunch into the snow.

Watching her was mesmerizing. All I could do was stare. Nessie has that effect on people. But I wasn't even staring because she was beautiful, like so many people do. I was staring because she moved like confidence was holding her bones together. She ran like her muscles were lined with gracefulness.

Which is hilarious, considering she tripped twice on the walk out here. She's a Swan that gives the illusion of being a Cullen.

I took my time making my way in her direction, and I stopped the second I spotted her bronze hair through the trees. Jasper usually knows what he's talking about.

Coming up to a herd of deer, she sank slowly into a crouch. As she edged closer, a branch cracked above her and fell to the forest floor. The deer scattered, and she caught nothing.

She cursed loudly and I suppressed a laugh. There was a fawn she could have caught, but Renesmee wouldn't do that. She once explained to me that there's something about killing a baby animal that her human side absolutely prohibits. That sounded a little ridiculous to me, but she gets confused enough about her conflicting genes without my input.

It takes her eleven whole minutes to find another lone deer, eleven minutes that I spend counting squirrels in the nearby trees. She killed it first, and then lowered her deceptively sharp teeth to its neck, and that was about the time I turned my attention back to the squirrels. Not that what she does bothers me, but lately she's been a little self-conscious about it.

When she finished, I heard her footsteps crunch towards me. I walked towards her, subtly searching her for evidence that she just killed a wild animal. As usual, I found none. Her light grey coat was spotless, along with her white scarf and hat. And when she flashed me a smile, I could see that her teeth, too, were as pristine as the snow falling around us.

"That was fast," I commented.

She nodded rapidly, "Yes, because I'm _freezing_."

I threw an arm around her casually, and she leaned into my warmth. God help me if Edward decided to pop out from behind a tree right about now.

It wouldn't shock me. Since Nessie turned seven, he's been even more of an overprotective spazz.

Rightfully so, because even I see her differently. I can feel the shift. I knew it would happen, but now that it's here, I don't want it as much as I thought I would. No, that isn't right. I _do_ want it, but unless I was positive that Ness does too, then I wouldn't risk even trying. I can wait. I would wait for her for a century if she wanted me to. We don't need to rush anything.

We walked slowly, not bothering to dodge the falling snowflakes. "Embry wanted me to tell you that he finished that book." I said.

"It's about time! What did he think?"

"I don't think he liked it."

She stopped walking and looked at me like I'd just told her I'd killed a man. " _What?_ How could anyone not like _Salem's Lot_?"

I shrugged. "He said it was the way Stephen King writes."

"Brilliantly, you mean?" She asked in disbelief.

" _I_ liked it," I tried.

"I bet it scared him."

"It scared him so bad that he's pretending he didn't like it." I laughed and she nodded.

We were silent for a while; the only sound was our feet packing the already-packed snow. "I know you're cold," she said eventually, teeth chattering. "Admit it."

I shrugged, comfortable in my t-shirt and jeans. "I don't get cold. Theoretically, _you_ shouldn't get cold, either."

"How do you figure that?"

"Your body almost the same temperature as mine."

She shook her head. "Four degrees makes a big difference."

"Apparently," I smirked, and she suddenly ducked out of my embrace and picked up a handful of snow. Before I had time to react, she reached up and smashed it on top of my head. The ice melted almost immediately, soaking my hair.

"Cold yet?" she laughed, her pink nose scrunching up.

I shook my head and grinned, she was in for it now. I reached down and scooped up my own handful of snow, and she scrambled to beat me to it.

Soon we were pelting each other as quickly as our hands could pack the snow together, which was pretty difficult; it started to melt once it made contact with our skin. She was laughing even harder than I was and her fingers were pale from the cold and her hair was wet, but she didn't complain.

After the next one she launched at me, she began to back away, using trees as her cover as she went. When my snowball hit a tree she was hiding behind, I yelled, "That's cheating!"

"I'm playing to my strengths!" she yelled back, over her shoulder.

Soon we were running through the forest, pelting each other with misshapen lumps of ice. In ten minutes, we were farther away from home, and Renesmee was soaking wet and laughing so hard that I thought she may hyperventilate.

She didn't notice a thick tree branch behind her, so when she backed up to escape my next assault, she ended up on her butt in the snow.

"Ness!" I ran to her, my laughter fading immediately, but she was fine, and when I reached down the help her up, she yanked me down with her.

We lay there together in the snow, trying to catch our breath from running and laughter. I looked over at her, while her eyes were fixed on the white sky above us. The apples of her cheeks were bright pink from the cold, along with the tip of her nose. Her eyes had taken on a golden honey tint in the middle, but they deepened back into chocolate brown around the edges; it happens after she's just hunted. Snow began to fall lightly, and I watched the snowflakes collect in her hair and eyelashes. I was thinking that she had to really be freezing now, but she didn't shiver.

"You know—" she turned to look at me but cut herself off, seeing that I was already staring. We were suddenly very close, and the powdery snow began to fall more steadily. We'd have to dig ourselves out if we didn't get up now, but neither of us moved a muscle.

She drew in a little closer, and I leaned in an inch; our noses just barely brushed. I could hear the sudden rise of her heartbeat, and I was sure she could hear mine. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.

But I didn't, because if I did and that wasn't what she wanted, I'd ruin everything and never forgive myself. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, but I would _not_ let myself mess this up.

I waited for her to pull away, or for something like an animal of a cell phone to ruin the moment, but nothing happened. I felt a rush of nervous energy pass through her, and then her lips were on mine. My world momentarily imploded and the only thing I could register was that she smelled amazing and her lips were cold.

When the initial shock wore off, my entire body seemed to be glowing with warmth and I could feel her excitement seep into my bones, and I knew that this was the feeling I'd been waiting for my entire life. Screw taking things slow—this was _fantastic._

It wasn't my first kiss, but it might as well have been, because it was _hers,_ and because nothing could ever have compared to this _._ I didn't know that anything could ever feel this _right_.

Renesmee pulled away from me with no warning and our eyes opened, hers suddenly wide with realization. She stood up quickly and I watched, perplexed, as the pink of her cheeks turned crimson and she grew more flustered by the second. She blurted, "I'm—Oh my god. I'm sorry," and hid her face in her hands.

I backtracked, trying to think of what I did wrong, if I messed something up, because she sure as hell hadn't. "You—You're sorry?" I stumbled over my words, in disbelief. "Why are you sorry?"

She started at me and blinked, and for the first time, I couldn't place the emotion on her face. And then I realized: She thinks I don't want her that way.

She's my first thought in the morning, and my last thought at night. She's everything. She always has been, and she always will be. And she doesn't know how much I love her? Thinking about her makes me want to write poetry, for god's sake.

I took me a beat to comprehend how she could possibly believe that I didn't want her.

"I love you," Is the only thing I could think of to say. There was so much more, but I needed her to understand that simple, obvious fact first.

She froze, and her heart sped up again. Because she heard the change in my words. The same three words, yet different from the times that I'd said it before. But then she pulled her eyes away from mine. "Jacob," she said softly, squeezing her eyes shut. "You don't have to. I know that the imprint… But that doesn't mean—"

"Renesmee," I cut her off. "I love you." I repeated, my hand on her chin so she'd have to look up at me.

And then the purest form of joy I'd ever seen fell across her entire face. A dazzling smile graced her lips and she said, "I love you, too."

You know that feeling you got when you were in the third grade, and you wrote one of those little notes to your crush that said 'do you like me? check yes or no' and you got the paper back and they had checked the 'yes' ? Multiply that by a million, and that was what I was feeling.

 _I love you, too._ I knew she could hear the shift in her own voice, from the times she had said this to me before. It was no longer a declaration, but a vow.

We had exchanged those words when we loved each other like siblings, and then best friends, and now… whatever this was. I was fine with not knowing what it was. It was better, was all I knew.

Her smile faded a little bit, and she said in a low voice, "I was so scared, Jacob. I thought that I had ruined everything we had."

I shook my head and pulled her into a hug. She had let her damp hair down, and it was now almost frozen. I ran my hand through the icicled curls and promised her, "You made it better." I secretly wished that _I_ had been to one to make the first move, but it didn't really matter, because it happened. My ego would survive.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Positive." I muttered into her hair.

She laughed softly into my shirt: this happy, giggly sound that I hadn't heard from her in a long time. "You have no idea how happy I am right now." But then she remembered that she could _show_ me, and the next thing I knew, her hands were on either side of my face and I could see what she meant. Her joy radiated through her fingertips and into my skin, tricking my mind into thinking that her emotions were mine.

Her gift is something that takes me by surprise every time. There's no way to describe it. It's amazing though, to experience things the way she does. Everything seems brighter when it's going through her head first.

"Oh, _shit,_ " she said suddenly, pulling out of my grasp.

"What?" I looked around us for her source of panic.

"My dad, Jacob! He's going to kill you."

I laughed, although I was fully aware that she wasn't kidding. Edward knew that this was coming. The idea has to have been on his radar, considering Renesmee's seventh birthday was only months ago. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but he had time to prepare himself for this, so maybe it won't be that bad.

"It'll be okay," I promised her, but she didn't look convinced. "I'll handle it."

She breathed a laugh, "Good luck with that." She grabbed my hand and began walking us home. Again, something that she'd done a hundred times, but now felt impossibly different.

I really wasn't near worried enough about Edward. Maybe it was the aftermath of the kiss, but I was kinda feeling invincible. And it helped that Edward was a slave to his daughter; he ultimately wouldn't forbid anything that she wanted.

We walked slowly through the icy January snow, and I continued to feel her happiness. She was still letting me feel it, through her grip on my hand. It didn't compare to mine.

Nessie stopped suddenly. "Jacob," She said, drawing my attention to her. She was staring at something off to the right, through the trees. I followed her gaze, but I didn't see whatever she saw.

"What?" I asked, and she pulled me forward a foot and then pointed. Then I saw it: a giant spruce tree, lying on its side in the snow. It was snapped at its thick trunk.

Before I could say anything, she was headed towards it. It must've been sixty yards away, but she reached it in seconds. "Was this like this when we passed it the first time?" She called back to me.

"It must've been," I shrugged.

"How do you think this happened?" She murmured, standing back to stare at it. "It's been windy, but that _that_ windy."

"It probably died," I suggested, but she shook her head. She went around it to the trunk.

"No. It was totally healthy inside."

"Maybe the park rangers decided to cut it down for some reason."

She shook her head again. "It isn't a clean cut. And when was the last time you saw a park ranger this far out here?"

I threw my hands up into the air. "Then I dunno, Ness. Does it matter?"

"It's _weird_ , Jake. Three people holding hands couldn't wrap their arms all the way around this tree." She said, and she was right. "Not just anything could have done this."

I gave her my last suggestion. "Maybe Emmett was messing around out here. He's nothing if not mindlessly destructive."

"Maybe," She looked unconvinced. "Let's go home. I'm so cold I stopped feeling cold."

We walked towards the main house and I told her about Seth and this awful date he went on last night, and mid-laugh, she froze.

Her smile faded, and she grabbed my hand instinctively. "Jacob," She whispered fiercely.

"What? What's wrong?" I watched her intently, and I saw the blood drain from her face.

She didn't move. "Do you smell that?"

I immediately froze with her and inhaled the cold air. I caught the scent that she did.

I untangled my fingers from hers and grabbed her wrist instead, pulling her behind me. There was a vampire, and it was close.

Through my teeth, I asked her, "If I told you to run, would you?"

"Not unless you were coming with me." She responded, very calmly.

I put a finger to my lips and we listened. Everything was so silent you could hear the snowflakes landing. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. And then, a twig cracked.

Our heads snapped to the direction it came from, but we saw nothing.

"Jacob," she said, and I could hear the fear in her voice.

"I'm going to phase," I told her quietly and slowly. I pulled her gently by her arm, so she was on my right side. "I'll be right behind you." I promised, and she nodded. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of something. Something moved. That was all I needed.

" _Run_." I hissed into her ear.

And _bless_ _her_ , she did. She took off like a bullet, and I let myself go. A flash of heat coursed through my bones, and my human body was gone.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Hey, thanks if you read my first chapter of When the Sun Burns Out. It's been a while since I published anything new, but I have good reasoning.**

 **This entire story, if your planning to follow along with me and not skip out after just this chapter, is already almost entirely written. Yep, I have almost ten chapters of this story done. So I there's no way I'm going to be putting it on hiatus or taking months to get a new chapter posted.**

 **I'm really excited about this story and pretty proud of it.**

 **So please, follow and favorite and review and all of those good things if you like what I have here so far.**

 **Thank you!**

 **Xoxo**

 **Vanessa**


	2. Chapter 2: The Jacob Situation

_Chapter Two- Renesmee_

When I woke up this morning, I wasn't particularly looking forward to the day. Dad was making me go hunting, and he roped Jacob into taking me, so I actually had to do it.

When I rolled out of bed and forced myself out of pajamas and into real clothes, I was convinced that there would be nothing special or significant about this day. Had I known that I would get my first kiss, and that it would be with the _Jacob_ , I might've put in a little more effort.

I was in complete shock. I could not believe that I had _kissed_ him. I kissed _Jacob_. And then he told me that he loved me. I knew that he loved me, I just didn't think that he loved me the way I loved him.

I mean, I knew about the imprint. I grew up knowing about it, like you grew up knowing your last name. But a few months ago when Jacob started to become a constant thought in my head, I shoved it all down as deep as I could. Because I didn't think his feelings would change, too. And I definitely didn't want him to think that he _had_ to love me the same way. An imprint isn't a locked-down guarantee. It isn't a have-to.

He's always been my sun. He's the light when I'm scared of the dark; he's the light when I _am_ the dark. As long as he's in my life, I didn't think I cared what part he played.

But laying there in the snow with him, I realized that I _did_ care. Because my clothes and hair were soaked and I was lying on ice but I felt impossibly warm, because he was looking at me. And I was scared that if I didn't kiss him right then and there, I would never feel that warm fluttery feeling in my chest ever again.

I was still unsure and nervous of what came next, and about how my family would react, but it didn't matter. I was freezing and my hat had been lost somewhere during our snowball fight, but that didn't matter either. Because Jacob's hand was warm and reassuring around mine, and I couldn't remember the last time I was this happy.

But then we saw the tree. And although Jake thought nothing of it, I knew something wasn't right. I _knew_ it.

My heart jumped into my throat when I smelled it. A vampire.

And when Jacob told me to run, half of my brain was screaming at me to not leave him, and the other half demanded that I trust him.

The more reasonable side won out. I ran as fast as I could through the snow, and I heard Jacob phase behind me.

The vampire scent was suddenly all around me, unfamiliar and wrong. I couldn't explain how a _smell_ could be so… ominous. But it was, and fear nailed itself deeper into my gut with every step I took.

When Jacob howled behind me, the sound was too far away and panic set in for two reasons: one, he hadn't followed right behind me like he promised, and two, he was calling for the pack. These were both things that he would only do if they were absolutely necessary.

I pushed my legs to go faster. As soon as the Cullen house was in view, I screamed, "Dad!" I came up around the back side of the house. "Mom!" It took only half of a second for them to come running.

"Renesmee?" Mom asked, as panicked as I was. "What's wrong? Are you hurt? Where's Jacob?!" Dad was there, surveying me for damage.

Everyone else had come out, and I was struggling to catch my breath enough to get the words out. "Vampire—" was all I had to gasp, because an instant later Jacob howled again, and several others echoed this time.

That was all it took for them to get it. "Somebody stay with Nessie," Dad commanded, and Esme and Rosalie immediately volunteered. And then my family was gone. They ran into the forest, in the direction I came from. Emmett even howled back to the wolves.

When they disappeared, I was left staring into the trees after them, convinced that I should have done more. What if something happened to Jacob?

Esme went inside to call Carlisle, and Rose gently touched my arm. "Honey, they're going to be fine. You should come inside and get into some dry clothes."

I let her guide me inside of the warm house. After I had a hot shower and put on new jeans and a sweater, they still weren't back yet.

I paced. I stared out the window. I went up to the attic so I could see the forest for miles in each direction, and I watched for any sign that something was wrong; any excuse to run out there myself. My stomach was in knots and my throat felt tight, and when Carlisle came home and told me to relax, I could have laughed at him.

He came in, changed out of his suit and coat and into some jeans, kissed my forehead and then Esme's lips, and he left to join the others.

Seventeen agonizing minutes later while Esme and Rosalie were trying to distract me with some dumb chick-flick that I wasn't paying the slightest bit attention to, I finally heard them coming.

Seven pairs of feet crunched in the snow, and I was out the door before anyone could stop me.

My eyes scanned over the weary faces of my family and once I decided everyone was okay, I ran to Jacob and threw my arms around his neck. "Did you find it?" I demanded, not quite sure what 'it' was.

He squeezed me back and shook his head. "No. We followed it a long way past the Canadian border before we lost it."

"There was a forest fire," Jasper added. "The smoke masked any scent."

I realized then that Jacob smelled like smoke. They all smelled like smoke. "A forest fire?" I asked in disbelief. "It's January."

"Trees still burn in the winter, Nessie." Emmett said pointedly. I ignored him. "We tried to find it again, but it was like it was never there." Jacob said.

"Did you at least see who it was?" Rosalie asked, to no one in particular.

Emmett shook his head, pulling her to him. "Nope. But I'd bet my ass whoever it was started the fire."

"Could it have been someone just passing through?" Esme asked, hopeful.

"Unlikely," Dad grimaced. "A passerby would have left sooner and faster when it knew it was being followed. Whoever this was took his time, despite the fact that he was being chased."

"He had an objective." I half-asked, and Jasper and Dad nodded.

"Now, that's not to say that he or she had harmful intentions. Let's not assume the worst." Carlisle inserted with a certain level of authority that I found comforting. But it was obvious that his logic had room for doubt.

"I had no clue this was going to happen," Alice said quietly, frustrated.

"You couldn't have," Jasper tried to comfort her. "Nessie and Jake found it, there was no way for you to see that."

Alice shook her head. "I'm better at seeing around them. I should have seen it. I should have seen _something_. Some clue…" she mused, and I could tell by the distracted determination in her eyes that she was searching into the future as she spoke.

Jasper opened his mouth to again tell her that there was nothing she could have done, but my mother spoke up for the first time, "Wait, " she held up a finger, concentrating on whatever idea she was about to propose.

We did wait, and after a few beats she finally said, "Alice is better at seeing the wolves than she is at seeing Renesmee." She looked around for agreement, and Alice nodded. "She can almost always see when Seth is planning to come over, but only sometimes can she see Jacob. Why is that?" I could tell by the way she asked this that she already knew the answer.

I didn't understand; I looked at Jake, but he shrugged, as lost as I was.

Dad got it though. I watched the gears in his brain turn for a moment, and then something clicked. "Because Jacob usually comes for Nessie. Seth isn't as particular."

" _Exactly._ " Mom nodded. Her voice became more serious. "So Alice can see around Seth when he makes a decision to visit us. But if Jake's soul purpose is Renesmee, that completely blacks out Alice's ability to see his choices."

And then I got it. Everyone got it. I knew that Jacob got it, because his grip around me tightened.

Nobody said anything for a few seconds, and the silencing was deafening.

"Of _course_ ," Alice's voice broke through the quiet air.

And then Dad hissed, "We don't know anything for sure."

My aunt acted as though she hadn't heard him. "Bella, you're a _genius._ It didn't add up before, but your theory is spot-on. That makes so much _sense._ "

Dad said over her, "We don't know for sure! We can't assume that this thing is after Renesmee. First of all—"

"Nobody said anything was after Nessie," Jacob cut him off, softer than I would have expected.

Dad shot back, "Well, everyone is thinking it, Jacob."

"That isn't what I meant," Mom growled. "That is _not_ what I said at all. I was just thinking that there could _possibly_ be a correlation."

Before anyone could say anything else, Mom marched up to the house.

Dad sighed, and he turned his attention to me. "Sweetheart, until we figure out what's going on… no hunting alone, and we won't leave you by yourself at either house. Okay?"

I was about to protest, but Esme agreed, "Absolutely." And Rosalie and Alice were nodding.

"Fine," I nodded, because it would appease Dad. He gave me a tired look and kissed my forehead before he went inside after Mom.

Everyone trickled inside, except Alice and Jasper. "Can you two do me a favor and stay in the house for a while?" Alice practically begged Jake and I. "I'm going to go wander around and see if I can _see_ anything…"

We nodded, but she was already off in her own world. Jasper took her hand, and they walked around to the other side of the house.

"You scared me," I told Jacob, lacing my fingers through his as we walked up the pathway to the house. "You told me you were going to be right behind me." I said, accusation staining my tongue.

We walked into the house and he said, "Would you have run if I said anything else?"

"That isn't the point." I muttered.

"I needed you safe, and I needed you to get reinforcements." He shrugged. And then I had a thought. I pressed my hand to his arm and asked, _Does Dad know yet?_

Jake shook his head and said, very quietly, "He's been a little preoccupied."

"Thank god," I murmured, sitting on the couch beside Emmett. "I was thinking—" I stopped, because Dad was suddenly in the living room.

He squinted, suspicious, and he didn't need to say anything; he knew he'd find out what he wanted by his mere presence.

Immediately, I began to mentally count backwards from a thousand in German. But Jake isn't as practiced as I am in the art of evading my father's intrusions, so I knew we were toast.

Dad clenched his jaw and said through his teeth, "Jacob, a word?" And then he turned around and headed for the door.

" _Dad_ ," I warned, and he turned back to me.

"It will only take a second, sweetheart. We're just going to have a conversation." He looked like he was struggling to not yell.

Jacob gave my knee a reassuring squeeze and got up. He and my dad walked outside, and I tried to follow.

"Not a good idea, Ness." Emmett said, holding an arm out in front of me. "I don't know what you did, but I would give them a minute."

"Em," I tried to push past him, "I need to make sure Dad doesn't kill him."

Emmett crossed his arms over his chest and moved so he was directly in front of me. "Does he deserve to be killed? What did he do, Ness? Did he hurt you?"

"No! Of course not!" I frowned at him. "Mom!"

"Upstairs, honey!" She called back.

"Mom," I ran into Rosalie's room, where they were sitting on the bed. "You have to go stop Dad from killing Jake."

Her brows furrowed together. "Back up, Ness. I need some more information here."

I sat cross-legged on the bed with them. They're going to find out anyway, so it might as well be from me. "I kissed Jacob today."

Mom's eyebrows shot up to her hairline and her golden eyes got wide. And although I may have imagined it, I'm pretty sure she smiled before she caught herself. Rosalie had completely frozen up, and the entire house had begun to shake with Emmett's laughter.

"Jasper owes me some big bucks!" he yelled. I suppressed a growl and awaited my mother's reaction.

"I can't say I'm too surprised," she tucked a curl behind my ear, a strangely content look on her face. "But Jacob is on his own, honey." She added with a little laugh.

"But that's not fair!" I protested, at the same time Rose hissed, "I hope Edward rips his limbs off."

"Rose!" Esme chided as she glided into the room and pulled me into a hug. "I think it's great, sweetheart."

"Thanks, Grandma. You want to go tell my dad that?"

She shook her head and laughed. "Sorry, Nessie."

"So were does this leave you and him?" Alice asked, suddenly popping in from the balcony's glass door. She was grinning widely, and Rosalie looked at her in outraged disbelief.

I felt blood rush to my cheeks. "I don't know."

"Nowhere if Edward kills him!" Emmett yelled from downstairs, and Mom yelled back at him to shut up.

"Edward isn't going to kill him," Alice assured me. "I saw them out there talking." And then she smiled again and held her hand out to me. "Can I see?" she asked, glowing with excitement. Never in a million years would I show my mother _,_ or even Rosalie, but this was Alice, so I gave her my hand willingly and played back the kiss for her. Her eyes lit up as she watched. "That is adorable!"

My face flushed all over again and I bit my lip. Just then, we heard a loud snarl that, undoubtedly, came from my father. Mom and I shared a look, and then I bolted down the staircase and out the back door.

"Edward," Jacob was saying, his hands held up, as if proclaiming innocence. "You knew this was going to happen. You _knew_ ,"

"Not right now!" Dad yelled back at him. "Not yet! It's too soon!" It had to have been the angriest I have ever seen my father.

"Dad," I said, cautiously, and at the same time Mom scolded, "Edward!"

He turned to us, surprised. "Do you know what he did, Bella? To our _daughter?_ " I positioned myself between him and Jacob, and I was about to tell him that technically _I_ kissed _Jacob_ , but Mom took matters into her own hands.

"Yes, Edward. I do know."

"And you're _okay_ with this?! She's seven years old! This is unacceptable—"

" _Edward._ " Mom snapped at him, beyond annoyed. "Do _not_ throw her age in their faces. Renesmee is fully-grown, she has been for months, and she is just as smart and mature as anyone in this household. We knew this was coming. _You_ knew this was coming. The only thing that is unacceptable is the way you're acting!"  
Jacob and I shared a look as my father's resolve crumbled. Go Mom.

"But Bella," he said helplessly; he'd already lost. I couldn't help but feel bad for him; he was my dad. I wanted to give him a hug.

Mom must have felt sorry for him too, because the hard look on her face dissolved and she smiled sadly. "Let's talk about this at home."

He sighed, defeated, and followed her to the cottage. But not before he shot Jacob an exceptionably threatening look.

We watched them go, hand in hand, and then Jake and I turned to each other, eyes wide. "That went better than I thought." He chuckled uneasily. It was then that I noticed an audience had accumulated on the balcony.

"Jake," Emmett yelled. "Did Eddie leave a mark?"

Jacob pretended to look himself over, "Not yet, Emmett."

Emmett cursed and reached into his pocket and handed Jasper a folded bill.

I scowled at them. "Stop gambling with my love life."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "We're gambling on Edward's temper."

"No gambling on anything!" Esme chastised.

I started to walk back towards the house, but Jacob touched my arm. "I should go."

I frowned. "Why? Because my dad scared you?"

He chuckled. "He didn't scare me. But I should get back to the pack… I kinda sent them home with minimal information."

"Oh, right. You need to go."

"I'll see you tomorrow," He said, almost a question, and I nodded, "Of course." And then he pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry," I muttered into his shoulder. "About my dad."

Jacob shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I was stupid to expect anything less."

When I pulled back, he kept his arms around my waist. I stood up on my toes so our faces were closer to level. "Where are we?" I asked, more curious than afraid of his answer.

But he just shrugged. "Wherever you want us to be." And then he leaned in, and pressed his lips softly to mine. It was sweet and quick, and I let it be, although I wanted to do anything but pull away from him. He was being careful with me, as though too much at once would scare me away.

Nothing could scare me away from him. If anything, he was the one that should be afraid.

"Go," I encouraged when he hesitated.

"Good luck with Edward," he grinned sheepishly, backing away.

"I'm not afraid of him, either." I ensured.

Jacob's white teeth flashed in the shadows of the trees around him, and then he turned and was gone.

I was almost relieved when he was gone and I was alone in the backyard. Not really alone, because every step and breath I take is heard by the people inside, but I was alone enough.

My mind was on overload from everything that happened in just one day. I didn't know what to make of our visitor. I should've been more worried about it, but I kept thinking, _Why would anyone go out of their way for me?_ It wasn't realistic.

And any worry I had about that was shadowed by The Jacob Situation. Every thought about him was new and exciting, and it isn't something I've ever experienced. I knew The Dad Situation that comes with The Jacob Situation was far from resolved, but I wasn't worried.

I was too happy to be worried about anything. Is that what love does?

It seems highly dangerous.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Here's chapter 2! I hope you liked it. I'm planning on updating about once a week from here on out, maybe even a little more frequently than that.**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who has followed and favorited and reviewed! Keep 'em coming for more chapters!**

 **~Vanessa**


	3. Chapter 3: Perfect Matches are Overrated

_Chapter Three- Renesmee_

By the next week, the Cullen household was much calmer. The Canadian forest fire had long been put out; the tension that had arisen because of the unknown vampire had faded, as did the excitement and drama about Jacob and I. I still wasn't allowed to be alone, but my parents no longer insisted on being in the same house as me at all times.

And Dad's okay now. Jacob and I still barely come within five feet of each other when he's in the room, and he's _always_ in the room, but he's reached a certain level of bitter acceptance.

It happened pretty uneventfully.

That Tuesday, after I had spent the night in my dad's old room at the main house, I woke up early and went downstairs in search of coffee. My parents were sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for me.

I cautiously said good morning, retrieving a mug from the cupboard.

"Good morning, sweetheart. How did you sleep?" Mom had been cheery and relaxed, but Dad looked a little tense.

"Good," I poured my coffee. "Where is everyone?"

"Your father and I wanted to talk to you."

"So everybody made a convenient excuse to leave?" I finished for her, and she laughed.

"Something like that, yes."

"Okay," I sat down opposite them. "Shoot."

Mom looked at Dad as expectantly as I was, and he sighed the sigh that says, _I would rather be anywhere else right now._

"Renesmee," he began his obviously rehearsed speech, but then his look of fortitude faded and he just looked tired. I could tell that he had just scrapped whatever plan he had. "Bella," he touched my mother's arm carefully. "Could you give us a second?"

She'd nodded and kissed him quickly. She walked out the back door, but not before shooting me a smile and a wink.

And then it was just Dad and I. I'd sipped my coffee casually, like his whatever he said wouldn't affect me.

His topaz eyes met mine across the table. "Look, honey. I'm obviously not thrilled about this, but I am sorry about yesterday. And I've apologized to Jacob; but you have to understand that this took me… _completely_ by surprise."

I found that hard to believe, considering everyone else saw it coming.

"I know, I know. I suppose I didn't expect it because I didn't want to, and you shouldn't be punished for that."

"So, you can be okay with this? With Jacob and I?"

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're my daughter, I don't like this at all." I sat and waited for more, and just when I thought that was it, he added quietly, like he was admitting something, "But you could do worse. Much worse."

A smile broke out across my face. That small admittance was more approval than I had expected. I went behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thanks, Dad." I kissed his cold cheek. "I love you."

He pulled me to his chest and kissed the top of my head. "I love you. So much," he said softly.

That was a week ago, and he hasn't said anything about it since, which is fine.

But back to the present, Mom is pretty happy about Jake and I. It alleviates her guilt. Not that I would _ever_ tell her that I think that, but where else would her excited approval come from?

I don't dwell on Mom and Jake's past. It happened; it's over. Jacob has told me that a hundred times. If I think about it for too long, my perfect little world starts to cave in around me and I freak out a little bit.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dad look up from his book at me. He frowned, and I knew he was inside of my head. I just shook my head a little bit at him. _Let's not get into this right now, Dad._

"Edward?" Mom came into the living room, Jacob a step behind her. "Ready to go?"

They were going on a hunting trip with Carlisle and Esme, up north. Mom didn't want to, but Dad and I convinced her. She was still nervous about leaving me. But Jacob was staying at the cottage with me, and my aunts and uncles would all be at the main house.

"We'll be back by morning," Dad said for the tenth time. "If you need anything, call Rosalie first." He kissed my forehead and then looked and Jacob and I very seriously. "I'm trusting you both. I could have made you stay at the main house, but I'm not. Just remember; I see _everything_."

"Okay, Dad." I nodded quickly, praying that that's as far as he planned to go with _that_ conversation.

It was, and my parents left when my grandparents came to the door to get them. "Love you!" I called after them, waving _._

"So," Jacob flopped onto the couch as I closed the door. "What do you wanna do?" I sat down next to him and threw my legs across his lap. "That my father would approve of? Not much. But how about a movie?"

Jake chuckled. "Anything particular in mind?"

"I recorded every _Die Hard_."

He looked at me strangely. "You hate those movies."

"Yeah, they're violent and gruesome, but you love them."

He grinned and pulled me closer. In between kissing every inch of my face except for my lips, he said, "Well if that isn't love, I don't know what is."

Laughing, I kissed him back. "I'm nothing if not compassionate."

He shook his head. "I wasn't talking about _your_ love. I was highlighting the fact that you hate the _Die Hard_ movies and _I_ can still manage to love _you_."

I slapped his chest. "Why don't I call Emmett then, and you two can sit here and drool over Bruce Willis together while I go do something more interesting?"

"I said he was _mildly_ attractive, and I have no regrets."

I laughed with him, and then I got up. "I'll make popcorn."

"How's your dad?" I asked from the kitchen. "Is he going to move in with Rachel and Paul?" They had just bought a house just outside the reservation, which Jacob helped them with. The house was pretty big, and Jake paid for about half of it with the cash that he and Embry have been making fixing up cars for the past few years. Paul and Rachel didn't want to let him, but he called it an early wedding present. Really, he just wanted them out of his house.

So naturally, he and Billy were invited to live with them. _Insisting_ is probably a better word to describe what Rachel has been doing.

"If Rach can convince him to. I think he'll end up switching between that house and his."

"And you?" I asked, and he came up behind me at the stove.

"I'll probably do the same," he rested his chin on my shoulder. "I'm usually stuck with you, anyway."

"Sorry, am I holding you back from something?"

"Only the dozens of women that have had their eyes on me for years, waiting for their opportunity that's never going to come."

"Tragic." I poured the kernels into a pot. "If you ever get bored with me, I hope you can be happy with your many stalker women."

"Bored? With you?" He held me prisoner with one hand and tickled me ruthlessly with the other. I squealed in protest, throwing my head back with laughter. And then he stopped, laughing, and kissed my collarbone. "Where would I find someone as fluent in sarcasm as you? Or as adept in the art of busting my balls? Oh, and who can make popcorn _on the_ _stove_?"

I laughed, "Yes, that is definitely a skill for the resume." I reached back and tangled my fingers into his hair. "I would assume you already know why I need you, then?"

"Well, I have some good guesses, but go on. Humor me. "

I turned around so I was facing him, and his dark eyes bore into mine. "I need you," I said softly, locking my arms around his neck, "because no one else will call me out when I'm being a brat." He laughed, but I pressed a finger to his lips. "You are the only person in my life that will flat-out tell me when I've fucked up. And if I hit a bad note over and over at the same part of a piano piece, you'll only pretend that it was okay the first time."

He cracked a grin. "I always thought those were the reasons you'd eventually resent me."

"No," I shook my head. "You make me happier than every other person in my life combined." And then I stood on my toes so our mouths were inches apart, and he pressed his lips softly to mine. "I love you." I whispered in the space between us.

"I love you," he said back, softly. "So much more than you'll ever know." I weaved my fingers into his hair and kissed him again, smiling.

All of the sudden, I realized that I couldn't call Jacob my boyfriend. I mean, I _could_ , but it didn't sound right. He was so much more than that. It didn't do him justice.

"Can we not be anything?" I asked, turning around because the popcorn had started popping in the pot.

"What do you mean?" His voice was puzzled.

"Do you remember when I asked you what we were? And you said we could be whatever I wanted?"

"Yes," he drew out the word, still unsure.

"I don't want us to be anything but us. We don't need titles."

"You mean no labels." He clarified, and I nodded. He thought about it for a second, and then he said, "You know, now that you say it, I hate labels."

"Me too."

"So if people ask, what am I to you?"

"You're my Jacob." I said, as though this was obvious.

He smiled a little bit. "So if anyone says, 'Oh Jacob, your girlfriend is so beautiful,' I have to say, 'Thank you, but that's actually my Renesmee.'"

I laughed, "Yes. Exactly." I shook the pot of popcorn.

"Do you ever want to get married, then?"

"I want us to be together; I want us to live together."

"But marriage?" He pressed, and I was impressed by his courage.

"I don't know. Maybe, if you want."

"Renesmee Cullen," he played with one of my curls. "Are you playing hard to get?"

"No," I laughed, "It's just that…we have forever to think about that. Live in the moment."

I let my mind play with the thought of us living together. We could have a pretty house in the forest. Or on the reservation, whatever Jacob wanted. I would live on a boathouse as long as it could be with him.

I poured the popcorn into a bowl and I must have been grinning like an idiot, because Jacob asked me, "What're you thinking about?"

I blushed and shook my head. "Nothing." When he kept looking at me like he was waiting, I pecked him on the lips nudged him backwards with my hands on his chest. "Go get the movie ready,"

I grabbed blankets from the hall closet. The sun was just barely setting, so I closed the blinds for proper movie-watching lighting. We settled into the couch and started it, and I said with a mouthful of popcorn, "I'm picking the next movie,"

"Fine," Jake agreed, "but nothing with Tatum Channing."

" _Channing Tatum_." I corrected, and he rolled his eyes.

We sat and watched for a while, and I quickly got bored. I looked at Jacob, studying the ridge of his jawline and the slope of his nose. He caught me staring, and said, "You're missing the movie."

I leaned in and kissed the edge of his jaw. "We can do something more fun instead," I suggested, moving down to his neck.

He groaned and nudged me away by the shoulders. "Ness, I can't have enough willpower for the both of us, and I really don't want Edward to decapitate me in the morning, so could you please do your part here?"

A smile crept onto my lips, and I had to touch a hand to my mouth to keep from bursting out in laughter. "Fine," I said, and scooted away from him, shoving a throw pillow in between us for effect.

"You are so melodramatic," Jacob sighed, throwing the pillow across the room and putting an arm around my shoulders.

For the next twenty minutes, I took it upon myself to make comments that would bug the hell out of Jacob, such as, "Ellis just said he has a private bathroom, so why is he doing coke in Holly's office?"

Without ungluing his eyes from the screen, he reached over and put a hand to my lips. "Shh. This movie is a sacred classic."

I bit his finger softly. "So it's allowed to have obvious logic flaws?"

"Yes."

"We're watching _Carrie_ after this." I informed him.

"Remake or original?"

"Original."

He nodded. "Deal."

I watched for a few more minutes, and then I let my head fall onto Jake's shoulder and I closed my eyes.

"Don't fall asleep," Jake wiggled me. "You'll miss the best part."

"You think every part is the best part." I mumbled, eyes still closed.

"Because every part of this cinematic masterpiece is." He wrapped an arm around me and I laid my head on his chest.

"Wake me up when it's over." I said, and he kissed my forehead. I listened to his heartbeat, strong and steady; the sound that I've heard my entire life, that I could recognize and pick out of any crowd. When we were this close, I thought that they might sync together. It wasn't feasible, because mine was so much faster, but they could get to a place that two of my heartbeats fit perfectly between each one of his. Like drumbeats that didn't quite match but desperately wanted to, and decided to harmonize in their own incompatible way.

Jacob and I didn't fit seamlessly together. But when he held me in his arms, it was so easy to believe that we did. And when you look at someone and love swells in your chest just at the sight of them, perfect matches are overrated.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Chapter 3! Thanks for reading! I know this was a little short, but it's basically just a filler chapter so I can get to the real excitement.**

 **Please, please, please review! I would love to hear what you think, and thank you to the people that have already been letting me know!**

 **~Vanessa**


	4. Chapter 4: Gone

_Chapter Four- Jacob_

I woke up to the sound of Bruce Willis running across broken glass to escape the terrorists. When Nessie fell asleep, the sound of her soft rhythmic breathing had me there with her in fifteen minutes. Which sucked, because I was missing the best movie ever made, and there was no way she'd let me rewind it.

I felt her absence even before my hands grasped blindly for her. I forced my eyes open, but she wasn't even in the room. "Ness?" I called, because if I knew her, she was in the kitchen cleaning up, most likely.

But I got no response and the movie was so loud I could barely think, so I quickly turned it off and wandered into the kitchen. "Ness?" I asked again, louder, when I still didn't see her. I listened carefully, and heard nothing. Complete silence. The overwhelming feeling that something was wrong settled heavily in my chest.

"Renesmee?" I checked both bedrooms and bathrooms, even though I knew by now that she wasn't here. _Don't panic. Do not panic. If she left, she would have left a note somewhere._ I frantically scanned every piece of paper in sight, searching for anything she could have recently written. There was nothing.

I stepped out onto the porch and scanned the trees. "Renesmee!" I yelled into the darkness. The only response I got was a few crickets. "Fuck!" I tugged furiously at my hair, now allowing myself to freak out. She wouldn't have left. She wouldn't have…

 _God fucking dammit._

I ran around the house, searching for that scent from the woods last week. I sprinted around the perimeter of the cottage and then followed Renesmee's most recent scent to the edge of the forest.

Her scent is so easy to pick out. There's no specific smell that can begin to reflect it. It's human and clean, but there's also a hard, complex edge underneath; a honeyed, earthy undertone that is impossible to place. Like when you know you smell flowers, but your mind can't decide or isn't sophisticated enough to know which kind.

Right where Bella and Edward's driveway meshed into the trees, Renesmee's lone scent stopped and collided with another one; the one I knew I would find.

I forced myself to calm down enough to get the phone from the living room. My hands were almost trembling too badly to push the buttons, but I managed to dial.

"Hel-" Alice answered on the first ring, and I cut her off.

"Alice, she's gone. We fell asleep and she isn't here. She's—"

"Whoa, Jake. Slow down, what do you mean she's gone?"

"Renesmee is gone! She's not in the house! She isn't outside!"

There was a second of silence, and then voices, and then Alice said, "Okay. Okay. Calm down, we're on our way."

I didn't understand why Alice wasn't yelling at me like I could hear Rosalie already doing. I wanted her to. She might as well have been, for how much I was internally screaming at myself. _How could I let this happen?_

I ran outside again and yelled for Renesmee as I ran through the trees, and I phased. I couldn't contain it any longer; the Cullens would follow the same scent I was, anyway. I couldn't waste time. We'd find her. We had to. _I_ had to.

I tried to remember who was on patrol tonight. Seth and Brady? Or maybe Paul? It didn't matter, they'd know I was coming, and they'd help. I pushed myself faster and faster, my paws pounding deep into the icy snow.

She was gone. I let her down. I promised her that I would always keep her safe. I said that I would never let anything happen to her; that nothing could ever take her from me. I failed.

I failed her.

* * *

 _Bella_

"What—" Edward started to ask, his cell phone to his ear. I immediately looked over to him. Nobody would call us unless it was an emergency. "Jacob," he said slowly, "Jake, calm down. Tell me what happened." Dread washed over me, and I ran over to him so I wouldn't miss a word. Edward exploded, "What?! What do you mean she's _gone_?"

"What?" I demanded. _Renesmee_. "What happened to Renesmee? Edward?"

By now Esme and Carlisle had heard us and circled back to where we were. "Renesmee?" Esme asked, concerned.

Edward held up a finger to us and we fell silent, listening to Jacob on the other side. "We fell asleep," he said, his voice somewhere between terror and misery. "We fell asleep and then she was gone. She's not here, Edward. I looked everywhere. We're looking now, all of us, the whole pack, but she's not anywhere. I can feel it. She isn't here."

I couldn't move. My body was as frozen as the air around me.

That vampire. That scent. I knew we shouldn't have left. I left my baby. I left her, and now she's gone.

Edward squeezed his eyes shut. "Jacob, let me talk to Alice."

I didn't hear what Alice said. I didn't hear what Esme said when she put her hand on my shoulder, or what Carlisle asked Edward when he hung up the phone.

The only words I hung onto came from Edward. "Bella, we need to leave now."

And then we ran. We ran and ran and ran. And for the very first time, I beat Edward home.

Jacob had every wolf scouring the forest by the time we got there. We joined them in following that same scent, and this time it was even easier, because Renesmee's scent was with it.

I refused to let myself be upset with Jacob. He would be furious enough with himself without my added anxiety. Edward must have felt the same way, because at the first antagonistic comment he heard from Rosalie, he snapped, "You _can't_ make this any worse for him, so stop trying."

When Jacob hugged me so tightly I shouldn't have been able to breathe and whispered, "I'm sorry, Bells. I'm so sorry." I hugged him back and told him to stop apologizing. I tried to convince him, and myself, that I didn't blame him.

I did blame him. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it. I blamed him as much as I blamed myself.

And now, with the pack, we combed through the thick forest. All night, into morning, and we were well into Canada when the wolves howled out a warning. All of the sudden, we were moving backwards. Edward had been far ahead of me, but he came running back, grabbing my hand and Esme's as he passed us. I didn't need to ask him why; I smelled the smoke by then.

I fought his grip. "Edward, we have to get around it! We can't go back!"

He didn't let up on his hold on me. "Bella, we can't. It's too dangerous, the fire goes on for a hundreds of acres in both directions, and you know the scent will be gone." He was right. Even if we came back once the fire was out out, the scent would have dispersed with the smoke.

We were forced back home.

My family is panicking. The pack is panicking. Because we really don't know who took her. We'd already ruled out the Volturi. Alice had been watching them too carefully. Rosalie and Emmett are convinced that it has to be them; that they got past Alice. But I know it isn't. When I look into Edward's tortured eyes, or even Jacob's, I can see that they feel it in their bones the same way I do; this is both smaller and greater than the Volturi.

Everyone's in the living room. People are either talking; strategizing, like Edward, or silent; being eaten alive by their own thoughts, like Jacob. I've been far closer to Jake's state than Edward's.

Every few minutes, helicopters were overhead, delivering water to a fire that Edward assures will be out by noon. Outside the window, I could see that already, the sun was coming up. _We're losing time._

Edward was saying, "Maybe we should call—" When the front door opened, and Seth came in, Embry only steps behind, both visibly shaking. Jacob was on his feet in an instant, and Edward flashed to Embry's side and growled, "Where did you find that?"

"Just a mile away from the cottage," Seth said, as the small object was passed from Embry's hand to Edward's, where he and Jacob both studied it. Jacob swore loudly, and Edward motioned for Carlisle.

"What is it?" Rosalie demanded before I could. Jacob stepped aside, giving us a view of the small syringe in Edward's hand.

The only sound in the room was Carlisle walking towards the group of men by the front door. He took the syringe from Edward, and all he had to do was lift it an inch to his nose.

"Ketamine." He announced, and Jacob lost it. He was outside in an instant, the front door slamming so hard behind him that I was surprised it didn't shatter. Embry went after him, but the sound of granite rock against rock and trees falling heavily to the icy ground still commenced. Rosalie jerked out of her seat like she was about to do the same thing, but all she did was grab a crystal bowl off of the coffee table and smash it to pieces in her hands.

"Ketamine?" I repeated. It sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it.

Edward's hands were clenched into fists and his jaw was set in a hard edge. I knew he wasn't about to answer me, so I turned to our family. "What is that?" I asked them, frantically. Emmett's eyes were like hard black stones, fixed on the ground. Jasper had his back to me, as he stared out of a tall window. "Someone tell me what that is!" I demanded again.

It was Alice who turned to me and said begrudgingly, "It's one of the drugs which is commonly referred to as a 'date rape drug'."

Edward glared at her sharply. "What?" Alice hissed. "That's what it is, Edward."

"It's a sedative, Bella." Edward told me.

"He drugged her," I half-asked, my voice dejected. I looked around, hoping for a sign of anyone disagreeing with me. Nobody did, and for the second time in my immortal life, I cried. Edward hugged me to his chest, his arms holding me up when I wanted to collapse on the hardwood floor. "We were supposed to protect her," I sobbed into his shoulder. "Our baby, Edward."

"I know, love." He ran a hand through my hair. "I know."

When he didn't begin to soothe me with assurances, I realized that he didn't have any. We had no plan, no leads, and no clue where to begin.

"Oh my god," Alice breathed, shooting up in her seat.

"What?" I inquired, pulling away from Edward. "What is it, Alice?"

It took her a moment to come back to earth, and then her charcoal irises focused on me. A relieved, hopeful smile broke out over her face. "Huilen."

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Okie dokie, here's chapter 4! Getting exciting, right?**

 **A little bit?**

 **Let me know what you think!**

 **As always, thank you if you took the time to read this, and thanks a bunch to everyone who has favorited/followed/reviewed!**

 **~Vanessa**


	5. Chapter 5: The Hybrids

_Chapter 5-_ _Renesmee_

I woke up in a bed that wasn't mine. The room was the kind of cool that can only be achieved with air conditioning and my head was pounding so hard that it made my ears ring.

I kept my eyes squeezed shut and waited for the room to stop spinning, convinced that when I opened them, I would be home, on the couch with Jacob.

When it didn't quite work out that way, I switched to trying to remember my last coherent thought, refusing to let myself panic.

Okay. _Okay_. Deep breath.

I had woken up on the couch, and Jacob was asleep. I pried myself from his arms as carefully as possible so I wouldn't wake him, and I grabbed the empty popcorn bowl to bring it back to the kitchen.

I had just gotten a glass from the cupboard and went to fill it up with water, when I heard a _thump_ outside. Not loud, just audible enough to catch my attention.

I checked to see if Jacob was still sleeping, and he was, so I carefully walked to the front door and opened it slowly. I didn't see anything, but I heard that noise again, that time a little bit louder. So, I ventured outside. Not far, a few feet.

A twig snapped. I walked closer, peering into the darkness. My vision in the dark is so-so, not as good as Jacob's, nowhere near that of a vampire. The wind blew strong and cold, sending goose bumps down my arms. I decided it was just an animal and turned back to go inside to Jacob, but then I smelled it. I took an instinctive step back, scanning the dark trees.

And then a hand was over my mouth. A cold, strong hand. Before I even had the sense to scream, there was a sharp pain in my neck, and everything faded away.

That's all I remember; there's some blurry things between now and then.

Somebody took me from my home. Some one took me from Jacob, from my family… _Jacob_. God, he's probably freaking out.

I ignored my body's protests and tried to force myself into a sitting position. A soft moan escaped my lips and my hands flew to my temples as a headache spread.

"Water?" A small female voice asked from my left. I recoiled and flew off of the bed.

My sight went black around the edges with the sudden movement and I backed up as far as the room would let me. I blinked rapidly and my vision focused on a girl standing feet away, close to the closed door. I braced myself in the corner as I studied her.

She towered over me by a good four inches, but she appeared to be the same age as I did: eighteen or so. Her skin was olive-toned, and her hair was an espresso brown that flowed in subtle waves down her chest. Her eyes were a striking pale green, wide as they surveyed me warily. She was beautiful.

At first I thought that she was human, and nothing was making any sense. But once I calmed down enough to hear anything besides my own heartbeat thumping loudly in my ears, my attention settled on _her_ heartbeat. It was too fast to belong to a human. I leaned forward a little bit and smelled the air. Her scent was warm and strong, but also, not quite human. I stared her, puzzled, and then it hit me like a freight train. This girl was like _me._

She was a hybrid. I stared at her, blinking, waiting for some sign that she wasn't actually real.

She set the glass of water on a small table by the bed. "I'm sorry," she said softly, taking a cautious step towards me, like one might approach a feral cat. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You," My voice was hoarse, like it hadn't been used in a while. "You're like me." It wasn't really a question, I just needed her to acknowledge it, so I knew I wasn't insane.

"Yes," She nodded, smiling shyly. "I'm Jennifer."

When she shifted her weight and looked around us awkwardly, I remembered that I can, in fact, speak; and the words came tumbling out, "I'm Renesmee."

She smiled, the corners of her pink lips curving upward. "I know who you are. You're Renesmee Cullen, of the Olympic Coven from Washington."

"How did you know that?" I countered, my voice going up on octave. "Who are you?"

"I'm sorry," she apologized again. "I forgot this is probably _so_ weird to you. It's just that I've been waiting so long to meet you. Ever since Nahuel told us about you—"

"Nahuel?" I cut her off sharply at the familiar name. It was all I had at this point.

I hadn't seen him since he saved my life, but he's always been in the back of my mind. He's the only other hybrid I've ever known.

And he had sisters. "You're his sister." I blurted, like an idiot.

Jennifer nodded. "Yes. And there's Maysun and Serena."

I remembered Nahuel explaining his family situation to Aro. He had said to stop his father, but that his sisters were innocent. "And your father?" I questioned, trying to fill in some blanks.

Something flashed in her eyes, but it was gone too quickly for me to decipher. "Joham. He's here. He brought you."

My chest tightened. "He _took_ me, you mean."

"He meant no harm." Jennifer defended. "I mean, I didn't approve of that at all, but he just got a little carried away. You're the only hybrid that he didn't create. He's curious."

"He took me away from my home and my family." I took a step towards her, my previous fear now completely anger. "Where the hell am I?"

The bedroom door swung open. "Jennifer! We aren't supposed to—" A girl hissed, until her brown eyes settled on me. Her thin eyebrows went up in surprise. Her skin was a bit darker than Jennifer's; her hair was dark and frizzy and curled just to the edge of her jaw. "You're awake." She said, a little stunned. She touched a hand to her chest, "I'm Maysun."

I stared at her in wonder for a second. I wanted to hate her. I wanted to hate them both. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. Because… they were like me. I'd never met another girl like me before, and here were _two._ And a third was possibly nearby.

But then the initial amazement wore off and I desisted from throwing myself at her in frustration. I didn't want any more fucking introductions. "Where am I?" I implored, again.

"Paraguay." Maysun didn't hesitate. "Mata Atlântica."

My jaw dropped. "The Atlantic Forest?! I'm in _South America?_ " The Atlantic-fucking-Forest. _Fucking_ _shit_.

How was anyone supposed to find me? If I were in like, Nebraska or something, I'd be home by tomorrow morning. But how was my family going to find me in another country?!

Paraguay. As in, between Brazil and Argentina?

I began to panic, tears blurred my vision. "No one—No one will know that I'm here." I said aloud, mostly to myself. "They won't know where to find me—They can't…"

"That's kind of the idea," Maysun said gently, sitting on the bed.

Jennifer looked at her sharply. "You could have a little sensitivity here, May."

"I have to get home." I said, to no one in particular. "I have to—"

"We can't let you do that." Maysun contended, standing up again. "I'm sorry, Renesmee. Father didn't even want us to _speak_ to you before he did."

I hated the way they said my name. It made my stomach twist.

"He should be back shortly." Jennifer interjected. "He's retrieving Nahuel."

"Nahuel will be here?" I inquired, almost hopefully. He would help me. Right? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time.

She nodded. "Yes, Father left to get him last night, after he brought you."

"Stole me," I maintained, and both girls frowned. "I shouldn't be here," I rushed on, "Please, I need to—"

"What are you two doing?" A third girl appeared in the doorway, that I assumed to be Serena. Her skin was lighter than her sisters', still a couple shades darker than mine, and her hair was straight and strawberry blonde. Seeing them all together, they looked very similar. They had the same oval-shaped faces, and identically narrow noses; they were equally beautiful.

Serena's light brown eyes flickered between her sisters and me, and then she whispered, "You're lucky father is preoccupied with Nahuel." And then she looked just at me and narrowed her eyes. "Look, I know that you don't want to be here. I know you don't know what's going on. But please, don't ask us questions that we can't answer. Make this easier on all of us." She turned on her heel, and then she was gone.

There was a beat of silence. I closed my eyes and shook my head a little bit. _Wake up. Please, Renesmee. Wake the fuck up._

"You should change," Jennifer proclaimed. "It's already hot outside."

I looked down at myself. I was still wearing the leggings I had put on before Jacob and I started the movie, which was what, a day ago? Two? I was still wearing the same grey sweater, and my hair was still in the French braid that Mom had done before she left.

I didn't want to change. It would be admitting to myself that this is real. That I'm not just asleep, safe in my own bed.

"This is your room, by the way." Maysun gestured around us. "Our rooms are right across the hall."

For the fist time, I really looked around at my surroundings. The room I was in was a little smaller than my room at home, and there was no window, only a giant skylight that sat in the center of the high ceiling, a few feet away from a large fan. The light that was coming in was bright, and lightened up the whole room, which was made up of panels of smooth-looking, light colored wood. The furniture was sparse; there was a queen-sized bed with a plain white duvet, and nightstand.

"I'm not staying here." I quavered. I was getting the hell out of here, and soon. They shared a look.

"I'll go get you some clothes," Maysun backed out of the room.

I looked up at the exposed wood beams on the ceiling at bit down the rising panic. I wished they would stop being nice to me. I wish they understood that everything about this was wrong.

Maysun left, closing the door behind her, and Jennifer reached out and touched my hand. "I'm sorry that you don't want to be here. I know you're scared. But I promise you; it's going to be okay. You'll see that everything will be fine."

Her smile was gentle and reassuring, and I frowned at her in disbelief. She looked so young, so naïve, and I wondered briefly if she saw the same thing when she looked at me.

I needed to get out of here. I didn't know what these people wanted, but it was clear that they had no intention of letting me leave anytime soon. I needed a plan.

I needed to stop assuming that my family would get me out of this. They'll be doing the best they can, but I had to start relying on myself. _I_ can get me out of this. These girls are just hybrids, like me. I could maybe take one of them, but definitely not all three. I'd be defenseless against Joham. But I could figure this out.

I could do this on my own. I can save myself.

Right?


	6. Chapter 6: Huilen

_Chapter Six- Jacob_

I watched Bella walk up and down the hallway again, studying each photograph even more thoroughly than the time before. Like she was desperate to permanently engrave them into her mind. They were family photos, but it was obvious to anyone who walked through this hallway, Bella's personal obsession over the last seven years, that the most reoccurring face was Nessie's.

And that was the way she wanted it. Because Renesmee's childhood had sped by so rapidly, the Cullens, especially Bella, had taken great care to make sure that every step and every milestone had been artfully documented.

An unknowing stranger would think that they were looking at a full-term childhood, rather than one about ten years too short. The walls held pictures for every "age" Renesmee passed. You could pick out a dozen photos that appeared to be taken over the course of the same year, when in actuality they were from the same month.

There was also a wall in Bella and Edward's place that was reserved for the same purpose. Nessie hated that. She never liked looking at pictures of herself.

I watched as Bella stopped in front of a smaller picture in a black frame that I knew was one of her favorites: Renesmee, as a toddler, in Edward's arms, with her little hands on either side of his face and their foreheads pressed together. His eyes were wide and adoring, and you could tell easily that every bit of his attention was on her, on whatever it was that she was projecting into his mind. Her long curls curtained around them; the exact same bronze color as Edward's. That never changed.

The photo beside this one jumps to a teenaged, fully-grown Renesmee, taken just months ago. I had taken it, during one of the rare, warm early fall days that she demanded we go to the beach. She's in this fire engine-red red bikini, standing knee-deep in the ocean. God, Edward had given Alice hell for that one. And I had to punch Jared in the stomach for staring at Ness a little longer than considered acceptable. But you can't see any of that crap in the picture; it's just her. All you can see is her mid-laugh smile and the brightness of her eyes.

I haven't seen Renesmee in thirteen hours now, and that feels like a couple of lifetimes. My thoughts are unbearably loud, demanding to know how I could have let this happen. They pound on my skull and claw at my brain, because I let the most important thing in my life slip through my hands like sand.

Almost as if she was trapped in my head with me, Bella sank to her knees on the hardwood floor; her head fell into her hands. She cried agonized, tearless sobs, and I almost went to her, but Edward was faster. He fell to the floor with her, his arms encircled her tightly.

They are a wreck. I mean, I'm a wreck, but they're a super dysfunctional joint-disaster.

I don't even know how long I'd been watching Bella pace up and down the goddamned hallway. But that being said, she's the only Cullen that's actually shown any sign of life in the past hour. Since Alice's vision, we've been sitting in this living room, waiting for the other half-vamp's aunt, Huilen, because she's apparently going to provide us with some information. Even Seth is here, waiting with us. He refused to go home when the rest of the pack did. Embry did too, for a while, but I made him leave a few hours ago when he wouldn't stop glancing at me like I was some kicked puppy.

Yeah, we've wasted four and a half hours now, waiting for some woman that may or may not be useless. I don't understand how Alice can see that she's coming, but not know what she's going to tell us. All I know is that I hate this. Being stuck here, when we could be—

"When we could be doing what, Jacob?" Edward hissed, still on the floor with Bella. "Blindly searching for her, wasting time that way? Huilen _will_ have valuable information for us. We must be patient."

Be patient? Renesmee could be anywhere, she could be hurt, and he was telling me to _be patient_?

"You think I don't know that?" he growled. "You think I don't know that every second she's wondering why I haven't come to her rescue her yet, like I always promised I would? You aren't the only one that's letting her down, Jacob."

Even though he didn't say it, the meaning behind his words couldn't have been louder. _You aren't the only one that loves her._

Under different circumstances, I could have laughed. I know I'm not the only one that loves her. So many people love Renesmee. With the exception of maybe Leah, everyone Renesmee meets instantly loves her. It's never bothered me, because I'm the one that's _in_ love with her. And by some miracle, she fell when I did. And that makes all the difference.

And I didn't think it would hurt this bad; being without her. But it's like a serrated knife carving out one of my ribs every time I see something that reminds me of her; and let me tell you, she's _everywhere._

The piano in the other room would scream her name if I hit a key; I'm sure it would. I miss her more than should be possible. Missing someone isn't supposed to be physically painful.

"Jake?" Bella whimpered, pulling out of Edward's grasp. She looked terrible. The deep purple circles under her golden eyes made her look more human than she had in a long time.

"Yeah, Bells?"

"Would you know if Renesmee was… If she were…" Bella looked at me somberly, her eyes pleading with me to understand so she wouldn't have to finish the thought. Edward shot me a look. Seth's head snapped in my direction, more anxious for my response than Bella was.

"Yes." I assured her, quickly. "Yeah, Bells. I would know."

She nodded to herself and looked down to the ground.

 _I would know._ Of course I would. Renesmee could be on another planet and I would still feel her. Her fingerprints reside in my soul because she's the only one to ever touch it. Even though she's far away, her presence still keeps me sane. If her heart stopped beating, if it came even _close_ , I would feel it. I would feel it, and it would be the end of me.

"Don't." Rosalie objected quietly, her eyes squeezed closed. "It's too soon to be thinking that way."

I couldn't say anything back. I couldn't make a snarky comment, even if she deserved it. Her voice was too anguished.

"She's here." Alice snapped out of her trance and shot to the door. Everyone was outside in an instant. We stood still, not even Seth and I breathed as we waited for the woman's figure to fully emerge from the trees.

"Huilen," Alice greeted, pulling the familiar vampire into a hug. She was unchanged from my memory. Still small, still dangerous and wild-looking.

"Alice," She was relieved, and surprised to see us all. The red-eyed vampire sensed the tension and (thankfully) kept the pleasantries short. Her heavily accented tone became as urgent as her eyes as she looked to our anxious assembly. "Where is your Renesmee?"

"She's gone." Edward spoke up, stepping forward with Bella on his arm. "She was taken from our home yesterday. We don't know by whom."

Huilen's expression grew solemn. "I know who took her. He came for Nahuel yesterday, and I hurried here, to warn you. I'm so sorry. I'm too late."

"Who?" Alice pressed. "Who came for Nahuel?"

My hands began to tremble as I waited for her answer. It had to be the Volturi. Who else would be rounding up all of the half-vampires?

Huilen's eyes gleamed as indignation replaced her distress. "Joham."

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Okay I should get a reward for two chapters in one night, even if they're both short.**

 **I seriously need to know you guys are liking this or not, because if not I can take it in another direction? Chapter four was the first one that got ZERO reviews, which is pretty disheartening.**

 **Please review, I really need the feedback. Even if you could just say whether you like this or not would be _incredibly_ helpful. You have no idea how motivating it is. **

**Thanks for reading!**

 **-Vanessa**


	7. Chapter 7: Joham

_Chapter Seven- Renesmee_

I couldn't make run for it. Not yet, at least. My uncles like to say that they shaped my vampire instincts. I don't necessarily think that's true, but if I was pretending that it was, I'd say that the Emmett part of me was telling me to bolt the first chance I got. The Jasper part, however, was more logical, and reasoned that I needed to get a better idea of what I'm dealing with here. I needed a plan. I didn't know where I was, or which way I'd even go. I was stuck.

After I had reluctantly changed into a pair of Jennifer's shorts, Maysun declared that I _must_ have the grand tour. After getting Serena's approval, they took me all around the two-story house. Like my family's home, it was all exposed wood and large windows. But it was noticeably older and not well maintained. The floors creaked and the large ceiling fans that were mounted in every room where dusty and discolored. The furniture and appliances, however, appeared to be new.

"That's Serena's room. And right next to your room is Nahuel's, assuming father convinces him to stay a while," Jennifer blabbered, skipping through the hall. She pointed to the right, "Father's room is the only one down this hall. It's off-limits."

I followed her down the shortest flight of stairs I'd ever seen, and the floors suddenly turned to tile. "There's the kitchen," she gestured.

I stopped in my tracks. I sniffed the air and listened carefully. "I smell humans." And I could hear their heartbeats. Six, to be exact.

Maysun hesitated. "Yes, that's the laboratory."

Jennifer looked to a door that appeared to lead to a basement. "We can't take you there. We don't have a key, anyway."

"There are humans down there?" I was horrified. I knew about their diet, and the way they viewed human life, but did they really have innocent people trapped here, awaiting death?

"It's not what you think." Maysun said quickly. "They're here by choice."

Before I could ask what she meant, she gestured me towards two large computer monitors. She clicked it on, and the screens lit up. Security cameras.

The monitors held views of two different rooms per screen, and they all showed young women: walking around, talking, sleeping. "What—" I started to ask, confused. At first, I saw their pale cheeks and tired eyes, and I thought they were sick. But then one of them turned to the side, and I got a glimpse of her swollen belly, bulging out under her thin dress.

 _Oh my god._

My hand flew over my mouth as I cried out in shock. My knees buckled under me. "Oh my god," I tore my eyes away, unable to look at the screens any longer. These humans… these innocent woman…"How could you do this?" I cried accusingly at the two girls who stood before me, looking confused. "Do you not see how _wrong_ this is?"

"They are here by choice." Maysun repeated.

"Joham is just using them to create more hybrids?!" I was outraged, and hot, angry tears threatened to spill over.

"To better our species," Jennifer said, like this was obvious and I was an idiot. "Our father is a scientist, he knows what he's doing."

"The last three died before the baby was full-term," Maysun added, as causally as if she was discussing the weather. "Father is growing frustrated. That's partially why he wanted you so badly."

Joham had manipulated these clueless humans, and he couldn't even keep them alive. I yelled, "You don't care at all about these women?!" I was hysterical at this point.

Maysun laughed a little. "Renesmee, they're just humans. It's okay."

I couldn't believe that anyone could actually _think_ that way. I was furious. "No, it is _not_ okay!" I practically screamed at them. "These are _people_! With families and friends that are missing them! Their lives are not disposable!" I was refusing to let a single tear fall and struggling, and they were looking at me like I was insane.

Maysun switched off the monitor. "You don't have to watch, okay?"

And they continued showing me the house. Like it never happened. Like there weren't dying women walking beneath us.

Joham and Nahuel arrived at noon.

Joham wasn't what I had been expecting. He was lean and wiry, and couldn't have been over 5'10'. His hair was inky black and he was paler than any of his daughters—as pale as I was. Although his appearance alone wasn't intimidating, something about his demeanor was.

His red eyes lit up when he saw me, standing outside the big house, beside his daughters. Nahuel seemed to have the opposite reaction. He stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widened with horror when they met mine. "Renesmee?" He breathed, confused. He remained unchanged from my memory; teak black eyes and rich brown skin, except his long black hair was now cut just below his shoulder, and it hung in loose waves. Also like last time, he wore beautiful beaded necklaces, all tans and browns that blended into his skin.

"What did I tell you?" Joham exclaimed with a delighted grin, gesturing towards me. "Isn't she beautiful?" He had a thick Portuguese accent that I wasn't expecting.

"Renesmee?" Nahuel repeated, tearing his eyes away from me to look at his father, pure hatred crossing his face. "Renesmee Cullen, Joham?! Why is she here?"

"Come now, son!" Joham clapped Nahuel's shoulder, and Nahuel recoiled like he'd been shocked. "I'm the leading hybrid geneticist in the world; our lovely guest here is the only half-vampire I didn't create. Of course I must get to know her!"

 _Hybrid geneticist?_ That's the title he made up for himself to justify impregnating helpless humans?

"So you stole her." Nahuel said flatly. "Do you have a death wish?"

Joham's grin faded a little bit. "What are you saying, son?"

Nahuel passed Joham and walked in long strides to his sisters and I. He planted himself in front of us so he was facing his father. "This has to stop, Joham. I agreed to come back here with you, but I want no part of whatever your new plan is. You had no right to take Renesmee from her home!"

"Don't you dare speak to me that way." Joham growled. "I am doing wonderful, _spectacular_ things for your species, for _mankind_ as a whole! If you would just listen to me for once, and let me explain—"

"None of your ideas are beneficial to anyone but yourself." Nahuel hissed.

Jennifer stepped forward and touched her brother's arm. "Nahuel, what do you mean, 'death wish'?"

Nahuel answered her, but was looking at Joham when he said, "The Olympic coven will spare no expense at getting her back," he glanced at me. "You have no idea what you've done. They are more powerful that you can imagine."

"They aren't going to know where she is." Joham seethed, stepping forward. Maysun, Serena, and Jennifer simultaneously flinched back. "And you aren't going to tell them, Nahuel. You will _not_ betray this family again."

"They will find her." Nahuel said, unfazed.

"We are nomads." Joham lowered his voice, and over Nahuel's shoulder, I could see that he was now looking at me. "We move. The Olympic coven will discover our location, I have no misconceptions about that. But by the time they arrive, we will be gone."

The blood drained from my face. Could that work? Could he do that?

"I will not follow you." Nahuel vowed.

"Yes, you will, son." Joham said nonchalantly, as he walked past us. "Because if you betray our family again," he nodded towards me, "I cannot guarantee her safety." He walked towards the house.

In front of me, Nahuel stiffened at the threat. "Stop calling me your son," was all he said.

Once the door closed behind Joham, his daughters seemed to unfreeze. "Nahuel," Jennifer threw her arms around him. He hugged her back, "Hello, Jennifer." And then he extended his arm to Maysun. "You're all okay?"

Jennifer assured him that they were, and Serena huffed and followed her father inside.

Then Nahuel turned to me. "Renesmee," he nodded, not quite sure how to greet me. "Are you alright?"

No. I've never been so scared or felt so vulnerable in my entire life.

But I just nodded. "Yeah. I think so."

"When did Joham bring you here? How was he even able to take you?" He was confused.

I shrugged. "My parents and grandparents went hunting… I was alone with Jacob. I went outside because I heard a noise, and then there was a needle in my neck." I laughed humorlessly.

"He _drugged_ you?" Nahuel was disgusted.

"He did what he had to." Maysun defended.

Jennifer nodded. "He didn't want to hurt her."

Nahuel rolled his eyes, and then he said gently, "Can I speak to Renesmee alone for a moment, sisters?"

They left us, and I felt the overwhelming urge to run as fast as I could, as far away as possible. But Joham's eyes burned a hole through the back of my head. He watched us from a window upstairs. He would hear whatever we said; watch every move we made.

We turned our backs to the house and faced the sprawling forest. The trees were so high that I had no idea how much land around us they covered; how deep into the forest we were. The sun beat down on our heads, and the air was drier than I had expected.

"Why are we here?" I whispered, so quietly I might as well have just been mouthing it.

"I don't know." He mouthed back, pretending to stretch. "I came here with Joham because he told me he had you here. I didn't believe him… I thought he was making it up so I would follow him." And then he said, a little louder, "I wasn't sure you'd remember me."

"Of course I remembered you." I paused, "I was surprised you recognized me so easily."

He smiled. "You look very different from the last time I saw you, but you aren't someone to be easily forgotten."

I smiled back halfheartedly and I looked down to the mossy ground. "Do you know what he's doing inside that house?"

Nahuel shook his head, puzzled. And then I remembered that I have a gift that would be really fucking useful right about now.

I grabbed his hand, slowly entwining my fingers through his. His skin was the exact same temperature as mine. He looked at me with confusion, and I pushed the memory of those women on the security camera through my skin and into his.

He was silent as I showed him, but once he understood, he was shaking with rage. He yanked his hand away from mine and stormed inside the house. Hesitantly, I followed.

"Are you serious, Joham?" He yelled, throwing the door open. "You haven't taken advantage of and killed enough human women yet?"

Joham held his hands up. "Again, son. You must allow me to explain,"

Nahuel crossed his tanned arms over his chest and pressed his lips into a firm line. He made a gesture like, _I'm waiting._

Joham strode over to us. "These women are here by their own free will," he began, and I rolled my eyes. "They are willing participants that I have collected in my travels."

"They are aware that their death is imminent?" I asked in disbelief.

Joham looked at me like he was noticing me for the first time. "Please, children," he gestured to the dining room. "Come and sit."

Nahuel and I moved carefully around the table and sat side by side, and so did Joham, but his daughters made no move.

"I promise you, Ms. Cullen," he addressed me with a casual smile, like we were old friends, "the few human lives lost will mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. I have fantastic plans."

I said nothing, just stared at him until he continued. "You may or may not know this, but I firmly believe that your half-human, half-vampire species could be the gateway to a super-human race." He sat back, his eyes still excited, like he had made some revolutionary statement.

"Are you saying that you'd like to replace all humans with vampire hybrids?" I asked. The idea was ridiculous; we were so difficult to make, and there were so many humans.

"If there were enough, your species could potentially replace humans, yes." He grinned widely, looking between Nahuel and I. "With the exception of keeping a few around to maintain our diet, of course."

I could've laughed at him. Nahuel beat me to it. "You're delusional enough to think you can create enough hybrids in your makeshift laboratory to wipe out the human race?"

"Of course not!" Joham chuckled, leaning back in his seat. "This is just phase-one, my children. It's the first part of my grand plan!" I didn't want to hear his plan; I didn't want any part of it. But something told me that I didn't really have a choice. "Once we have enough hybrids," he began again, "More vampires will know about them; they'll get behind us. And eventually, we'll be able to go to the Volturi. We'll demonstrate the superiority of half-breeds, and once they see our numbers, they'll have no choice but to support our cause. And that's when the real change happens."

He watched us intently, waiting for our reaction. I scowled at him and shook my head. "The Volturi won't let you create anything coming close to an army."

A sly grin crept slowly across his face. "Sweetheart, by the time they catch up to us, we'll have enough vampires and half-breeds to overtake them completely. If they want to remain in power, they'll do what the majority wants. They may be vampires, but their politics still work like humans."

Maybe he wasn't as insane as I thought. I had to consider that, because his logic made a little bit of sense. That in itself was terrifying. I couldn't find my words, but Nahuel asked for the both of us, "What does your plan have to do with Renesmee? Or I?"

Joham's face turned grim, he looked right at me. "I am aware that neither of you want to be here." I held his gaze; my pulse quickened. He continued, "But we need you both on our side. As you may or may not know, Renesmee, I have attempted to persuade other vampires to join me in the creation of hybrids in the past, but all were more than hesitant. My motivation for doing so was my children, to provide them with mates; both for their happiness and the possible scientific advancements, and that was my motivation for taking you. So while I must apologize for your unhappiness here, I cannot say I have any regrets."

He brought me here so I could hook up with his son. This couldn't be real. This wasn't happening.

Nahuel stood up so fast that his chair crashed to the floor. "That's why you brought her here? That's why you threatened me and forced me to come? We are not one of your experiments, Joham! Forget it!"

My face felt hot, but it was with anger, not embarrassment. He couldn't do this. I don't owe him anything. He was yelling back at Nahuel, but I couldn't hear him. I stood up, and walked closer to him. "I'm not doing it. Let me go home." I demanded, calm and reasonable.

"I can't do that," he clenched his teeth together. I repeated myself, my voice a little more shrill.

I must have said it a dozen times before I was finally screaming at him. "Let me go home! Let me go!"

I wasn't thinking. All I could see was red fury and I threw myself at him, but his hands easily restrained mine. "Serena," he called, fighting with me. Well, I was fighting. He was being surprisingly gentle, like I was something delicate and fragile that would break if handled too roughly.

He held me to his chest, and something sharp jabbed into my shoulder. I gasped in pain, thrashing against his hold.

Within seconds, my body involuntarily relaxed against him, and I cried out one last time for him to let me go, although it definitely sounded much more pathetic than I intended.

My vision went black around the edges, and my body felt tingly. The last thing I saw or felt was Nahuel, tearing me away from Joham's arms.

His skin felt warm, and if it had been just a little warmer, I could've pretended that it was Jacob. Who am I kidding, I pretended that it was him, anyway.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Three chapters in one weekend? I know, I know. I'm really on it.**

 **Kidding, I actually just really like this chapter and wanted to get it up ASAP because it seriously gets the ball rolling here.**

 **And I wanted to make up for like 2 weeks of not posting.**

 **Hope you like this chapter! As always, thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **xo-**

 **Vanessa**


	8. Chapter 8: Complications

_Chapter Eight- Jacob_

"He arrived at day break." Huilen began in her thick accent, now seated in the Cullen's living room. We were all sitting now, but no one looked comfortable in the slightest. "Nahuel despises Joham, and told him to leave. But Joham was more insistent than he had ever been before. Nahuel still refused, and as a last resort, Joham told him that he had Renesmee Cullen."

Every muscle in my body tensed. I could feel the slight tremble of my muscles begin at the sound of her name, and I wanted to yell at this woman to hurry the hell up and just tell me what I needed to do to get Ness back.

"Joham threatened Nahuel with my life and Renesmee's if he didn't agree to go with him." The vampire paused, and looked around at all of us. Maybe she was just looking at me, because I was really shaking now. Jasper glanced over at me and moved a little closer, and the tremors subsided slightly. I didn't have the energy or focus to be appreciative.

She began again, "Nahuel didn't believe that he had your Renesmee. He went with his father for fear of my safety, and was convinced Joham was lying about his possession of your daughter. I have to admit, I also didn't believe it was possible."

That seemed to be a common theme around here. Disbelief.

She continued, "Before Nahuel left, he and I decided I would come warn you, just in case. I hurried as fast as I could, but I see I was too late."

Alice shook her head sadly and reached out to the woman. "Renesmee was gone before Joham came for Nahuel. You couldn't have prevented this."

I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax into the couch, beside Bella. Her entire body was rigid with tension as she stared at the coffee table in front of us like she was searching for a hidden message in the glass. I noticed the way she now sat angled away from Edward; how she didn't look at him even when I knew she could feel his eyes on her. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

Carlisle cleared his throat, but Bella beat him to it. "Do you know where they are?" She blurted suddenly, daring to hold hope in her voice.

The woman hesitated. "I didn't even try to follow. Joham made it very clear what would happen if I did. I came straight to you. All I know is that they started heading North from our home. That would be towards Chile or Argentina, but possibly beyond that."

She was in South America. Renesmee was on a different continent, and all we had was a vague direction.

So this is what it feels like to be stripped of every sense of control.

Before this, I never quite realized how much of my sanity depended on Renesmee's safety. Because I always made sure that she _was_ safe. There wasn't a single time that she tripped and actually hit the ground. How could I have failed so colossally the time it mattered the most?

Bella's face turned hopeless again like someone had flipped a switch. That killed me.

"Huilen, what do you advise we do?" Carlisle asked. "Are you concerned for Nahuel's safety?"

She shook her head. "This isn't the first time Joham has manipulated Nahuel this way. He visits his sisters a few times a decade, and he always comes back to me. He isn't afraid of his father, and never would he agree to stay. I'm more concerned about your Renesmee."

I felt sick. Like I might throw up all over the pristine white carpet, had there actually been anything in my stomach. I shoved the feeling away as Edward asked, "Do you think Nahuel would help Renesmee? Help us get her back?"

Hulien opened her mouth to answer, but Emmett interrupted her. "What the hell does this guy want with Nessie, anyway?"

"He considers himself a scientist when it comes to half-vampire hybrids." The dark-skinned vampire rolled her eyes. "He views himself as their creator. I would assume it was driving him crazy to know there was a half-breed that he didn't create and wasn't in his possession. Not to mention a gifted one; from a coven as powerful as this one."

"Will he hurt her?" I couldn't stop the question from tumbling out of my mouth. I don't know what I wanted to to hear back.

She looked at me, surprised, and then gave me this halfhearted smile, like she knew what I was feeling, even though that wasn't possible. She spoke softly, "Renesmee is very valuable to him. Joham is far from sane, but I have no doubt that he has some kind of plan. He has an end goal, and he needs your Renesmee to achieve it."

I nodded, fully aware that she wasn't telling me that Nessie was safe. She was saying that this Joham-asshole couldn't afford to kill Renesmee. That was it. And I had to take it. I would clutch onto that, because it was all I had.

"And yes," Hulien turned back to Edward. "I am certain Nahuel will help your daughter in any way he can."

"But he won't be able to bring her back to us, will he?" Rosalie asked, but it wasn't really a question.

Hulien shook her head hesitantly. "Whatever plan Joham has may be convoluted, but he's good at getting what he wants. He won't be letting her go without a fight."

"Well then," Emmett boomed, standing up, "Let's do it, then."

"Emmett," Carlisle put a hand on his shoulder. "We aren't looking for a fight. We must approach this with reasonable caution."

That was utter bullshit. I don't see a better solution for this situation than violence. The only issue is that we don't know where they are.

Edward looked over at me. "Locating her shouldn't be too difficult. Maybe I could track her."

"You can do that?" I asked him.

"I can try," He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm not sure how effective it'll be."

"Why don't we just split up," Bella spoke, " we'll start at Huilen and Nahuel's home and follow any scent we can for as long as possible, and then we'll divide ourselves so we have a group in each country she could be in, and then we search."

I shook my head. Her plan was too simple; it left too much room for errors on our part. Searching countries isn't like searching states.

I almost told her that, but Huilen said, "I'm afraid it will be more complicated than that. You see, Joham and his daughters are nomads. I doubt they stay on the same continent for more than a few weeks, especially now that they'll assume they're being tracked."

My heart fell into my stomach. Yes, that complicated things slightly.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **I know, I totally suck. It's been like almost a month, and this chapter is really short. Cut me some slack, I had my wisdom teeth taken out, and my laptop battery died, and it's just been a busy few weeks. But I AM sorry,** **and this story WILL continue till the end.**

 **Thanks for reading, let me know what you think! Your feedback is what keeps me motivated! Thank you so much to those who have already been reviewing and following! It will not be another month until next time, promise.**

 **xo-**

 **Vanessa**


	9. Chapter 9: The Humans

_Chapter Nine- Renesmee_

His lips grazed my collarbone and kissed right below my ear. His warm hands circled around my bare waist and settled on the small of my back. My arms wound around him and I nuzzled into his neck, breathing in his scent. His skin smelled like pine needles and soap. He smelled like Jacob, and god, how I missed that. I could have cried, I had missed him so much, and here he was. He ran a hand through my hair, gently untangling the curls as he went.

"I missed you." I breathed against his skin, kissing his jawline. My vision blurred with tears, but I could still see him smiling that smile that I loved. His arms tightened around me for an instant, and then he was gone. Vanished into thin air. I tried to follow, I tried to run after him, but there was nowhere to go. I was surrounded by nothing but white; this awful blinding white that left me no perception of how fast I was running; if I was making progress at all. I screamed his name. I screamed for him to come back, to please not leave me here—

I woke with a gasp, my cheeks wet with real tears. _It was just a dream,_ I chanted, wiping the moisture from my face with the back of my hands. _Just a dream._ But it wasn't. It felt real. Jacob felt so warm and solid beneath my fingertips. His skin was so warm and his lips— _Stop it, Renesmee._ Focus.

I was in my room—God, no—this isn't _my_ room. Just the room they keep dumping me into. I jumped up from the bed and then had to steady myself on the headboard. Everything was spinning, and panic began to run through my veins because I couldn't get my eyes to focus on anything. When I could finally tell up from down, I crossed the room and reached for the door handle. It didn't budge; the knob wouldn't turn.

I stared at the wooden door in shock. He locked me in.

My face flushed with rage and I was about to break the door, because I was sure I could, but I heard voices and froze. I pressed my palms flat against the smooth wood and pushed my ear against the door.

I caught the tail end of whatever Joham was saying from somewhere downstairs. "—and I'm out of ideas. This is the second one this week,"

The door suddenly unlocked with an audible _click_ and I jumped backwards. More gently, it opened, and saw Nahuel standing in the doorway. "Sorry," he hovered outside, "I didn't mean to scare you. And I had no idea he _locked_ you in here."

"Don't worry about it." I waved him in and closed the door. "How long was I asleep?"

He shrugged. "A little less than a day."

"A _day_?" I blanched. "What did he give me?"

Nahuel grimaced, "I'm not sure."

I lost a whole day. My stomach twisted with hunger, but that was very far down on my list of things to worry about. I sat on the still-made bed and patted the spot next to me. He sat, and a somewhat-awkward silence settled over us.

"Listen," he began, "About what Joham said yesterday… About why he brought you here…I had no idea. And I have absolutely no intentions of… _that._ I mean, I would never—"

"I didn't think you would," I cut him off so he wouldn't have to finish.

He studied my face for a second, with a little bit of sadness. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a pad of paper. From the nightstand, he pulled out a pen. I watched him with confusion as he began to write.

He scrawled something down, and when he pushed the paper towards me, I got it. If we wrote, Joham wouldn't know what we were talking about. This didn't work in my family anymore; they had learned the sounds of each letter being shaped on the paper after Jacob and I had been doing it for a few weeks. I grabbed the notepad, hoping Joham wasn't that smart.

 _Your family should be aware of what's happened. Huilen went to warn them the same day I left._ He wrote, with a few mistakes that gave away that English wasn't his first language. I couldn't help the smile that spread over my face at his words. I could have cried.

But they still didn't know where I was.

I took the pen from him and wrote back, _They won't be able to find me._

I shoved the paper to him, and he didn't hesitate to write back, _If I remember, your family is fiercely protective. I have no doubt that they will find a way._

He tired to smile reassuringly, and I tried, unsuccessfully, to let some of his optimism rub off on me. He picked up the pen again and added, _And if they can't, we will._

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. I mouthed a thank you and Nahuel smiled back. _How long,_ I wrote, _do you think it take for Joham to want to leave here?_

He read it and scribbled back, _He won't move these women, so I think we'll be here until they are all gone._

Gone. Dead, he means. We don't leave until the pregnant women die. But what if they didn't? What if, even just _one_ of them, made it long enough for at least the baby to be saved? Would that increase the amount of time we're here?

"What's going on out there?" I asked him aloud, my voice barely a whisper. "I heard Joham talking, about being out of ideas?"

Nahuel let out a sigh so deep that I thought briefly of my dramatic father, and then he lowered his mouth to my ear. "One of the humans died last night. If she had lasted another day or two, it would've been the first successful birth."

I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip so I wouldn't scream in frustration. I let out a shaky breath and asked, "How many does that make?"

"Left? Five. All of which, if they survive, should give birth within the next week."

I nodded. "Do you think Joham would let me see them?"

Nahuel studied me carefully for a minute, and then asked, "Why?"

"Because," I leaned back until my head hit the wall, "How long do you think it's been since they talked to someone sane, who will actually _listen_ to them? I want them to know that someone here is on their side." This wasn't 100% truthful, but it was close enough.

"Okay," he nodded. "Let's see what we can do."

We walked across the hall and down the creaky staircase, where Joham and his daughters were gathered. Jennifer noticeably lit up, and then dimmed down again when I didn't return her smile.

I stepped past Nahuel and locked eyes with Joham.

"The women downstairs are dying." I said. He wasn't fazed.

"Yes," he nodded, and if I didn't know better, I would've said he sounded guilty.

"I want to see them." I said, trying to sound stronger than I felt.

He looked down, and then up suddenly, his eyes suddenly alight. "Of course," he said. "Of course you may; I would be delighted for any suggestions you may have. I'll take you down."

"Could I go alone?" I asked, and his eyes narrowed, but he nodded. I followed him to the basement door, which had four separate locks on it. "What do they eat?" I asked as he swung the door open.

"They eat like humans," Joham shrugged, "Although they're usually not well enough to eat much anyway." He held the door for me and pointed. "Down the stairs—the door on the left. The door on the right is their kitchen."

I nodded and walked past him. "Wait," I turned back to ask, "how much do they know?"

His black eyes bore into mine. "Everything."

Of course. Because they're dying anyway, right?

Alone, I walked down six polished wooden stairs and then down a short hallway lit by bright fluorescent lights. At the end were two doors, both heavy-looking and tall. Slowly, I opened the one on the left. At first, nothing happened. None of them even glanced my way, like they were used to constant visitors.

It was a big room, set up dormitory style with four beds along the right and left walls. The back left corner of the room was an assortment of couches, all pointing to a large TV that no one was watching. There was a door to the bathroom in the other corner, and a long table that ran down the center of the room that looked just like the one in the dining room at home. The bed closest to me held a small, but very pregnant brunette, who appeared to be fast asleep.

There were two blondes sitting at the long table in comfortable-looking leather chairs. One of them sat cross-legged, reading. The other had her eyes closed, and was sitting so still that I would have thought she was asleep, had her hands not been tracing large circles on her round belly, in a constant, unceasing pattern.

"Who are you?" A voice asked behind me, and I jumped. I spun around to face the most exhausted looking woman I'd ever seen. She was the same height as I was, with straight red hair that fell like a velvet curtain past her chest. She looked young; maybe 25, and that was with the purple bags under her eyes and sunken-in cheeks, so who knew how old she actually was. I was surprised she was even standing; she looked so weak. She stared at me quizzically, her tired blue eyes held a gentle curiosity.

"I'm Renesmee," I touched a hand to my chest rather than reaching out to her like I wanted to; she looked too fragile. By now the women sitting at the table were paying attention, and I tried to smile. "Joham brought me here," I tried to explain, "I'm…" I searched for a good way to say it, and found none, so I pointed to the redhead's stomach and blurted, "I'm like your baby. Like Joham's daughters."

Redhead raised an eyebrow and waddled past me to sit at the table with the other women. "But you aren't one of his daughters?" She asked, breathless from the five-yard shuffle.

"No." I shook my head.

"Why are you here?" The cross-legged blonde asked me.

That was a good question. I fumbled for an answer. "He took me," I shrugged; the best explanation I had.

"Welcome to the club," the other blonde finally opened her eyes and smiled weakly at me. "I'm Corrine." Her accent was Swedish.

"Amanda," the other blonde waved.

Redhead reached out to me, and I crossed the distance for her and clasped her hand it in mine and shook it. "I'm April." She said, and pointed to the sleeping brunette. "That's Julie."

"We lost Anna last night," Amanda added softly.

"I heard," I replied gently, sitting down at the table with them. "I'm so sorry." But none of them looked particularly upset by it. Like that was just protocol; dying was part of the plan.

Corrine murmured, "I just want him to live." She had her eyes closed again, and was patting the top of her stomach gently. The other two women nodded in agreement.

"Don't you want yourself to live?" I asked no one in particular.

Amanda let out a little laugh and then winced. "That isn't exactly realistic… What did you say your name was?"

"Renesmee," I said, and then added quickly, "But you can call me Nessie."

"Like the Loch Ness Monster." Amanda smiled; her skin stretched almost translucent over her sharp features.

"Yes," I laughed. And then Corrine gasped out in pain, clutching her stomach in both hands. I was the only one who reacted. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" I rushed over to her.

Silently, she held up a finger. She didn't breath for almost a full minute, and then she finally exhaled and told me, "He was kicking; that's all. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" I pressed, and she nodded, the little color she had before returning to her face.

I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't stand to watch this anymore, and I'd only been down here for ten minutes. It was so wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I couldn't say that these babies were the terrible problem; I was one of them. But their mothers having no hope of ever seeing them? That was beyond awful.

I wanted to cry for doing this to my mother, I wanted to scream at Joham for doing this to them. I couldn't stand the thought of anyone else dying for this; anything this traumatic and devastating isn't natural. This isn't natural. _I_ am not natural.

I might have excused myself; I might not have. But I stood up and walked as fast as I could out the door, through the hallway, and back inside. I closed the door behind me and made a beeline for the staircase, pushing past Jennifer and Maysun in my hurry. I didn't stop to talk to anybody, I just ran as fast as I could up the stairs and into the first bathroom I saw. I flipped up the lid of the toilet as my stomach twisted and had there been anything actually in it, I would have thrown up. But there wasn't, so all that fell into the clear water was a few tears. But I was not letting myself have a meltdown.

I just needed a break, to take a step back and gain some perspective. God, I'm turning into my father. I tried to turn on the sink faucet to splash some water on my face, but I was shaking too much to turn the nobs. So I stripped the clothes that weren't mine and pulled back a white shower curtain to reveal an ugly tiled shower. I made the water hot enough to scald my skin and stepped in. I took some deep breaths and told myself to think about what to do. Not about Jacob, not about my parents, I needed a plan.

I needed to keep the women down there alive. The longer they lived, the longer we would be here, the longer my family had to find me, or the longer I had to figure out my own way to get out.

Joham couldn't keep them healthy long enough to give birth. My mother survived her entire pregnancy with me, and my birth. She was the only woman ever to do that, and I knew the story. I knew how my family pulled that off.

I knew something Joham didn't. They needed blood. With that, they would live long enough for Joham to get the babies. He wouldn't save the mothers, not like my father did.

But telling him about the blood…that could keep them alive long enough for my family to find me, but it would also enable him to keep doing this; it could increase his success rates and motivate him all the more, whereas if he keeps failing, he might just give up.

I don't know what to do. For the first time in my life, nobody is going to give me a hint, or nudge me in the right direction.

I sat on the floor of the shower and let the water run over me, even after it ran cold. By the time I reached up and finally turned it off, I knew what I had to do.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **What do you think Nessie's gonna do?**

 **Be sure to review! I need to know if this sucks or not before I continue and it's too late to change it! Speak now or forever hold your peace.**

 **And tell me if I made stupid mistakes! I tried really hard not to, but I finished and posted this chapter so fast that it's possible.**

 **xo-**

 **Vanessa**


	10. Chapter 10: Alone in the Dark

**AN : Thank you so much for reading! So in the last chapter, Nessie had been gone a little over three days. But in the last _Jacob_ chapter, Nessie had been gone almost two days. So just keep this in mind: every chapter up until now has been about one day, give or take. So only one POV per day. Just incase anyone was confused, because _I_ was getting confused. But this chapter is skipping ahead a couple of days, thus skipping ahead for both POVs, and I'll be sure to make that clear. Sorry it's been so long since I updated, my laptop crashed a couple of weeks back and I lost this chapter (which was almost finished!) and had to start over and was super pissed about it and unmotivated. I'm super sorry. Anyway, here it is. Happy reading, I hope you like it! **

_Chapter 10- Renesmee_

I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell Joham.

It seemed like the obviously less selfish option, but after having watched those women suffer for the past two days, I couldn't be too sure. The guilt gnawed at my gut every time I even glanced at the security camera monitors.

It's been bad here. I hated Joham. I hated him with a deeper passion than I have ever hated anyone. I hated the way he treats his children, I hated the way he treats human life. He hadn't been sure exactly how to treat me before; he still wanted me to join him in his "mission". But the façade faded as his patience for my intolerance dwindled. Something dark brewed in his eyes now when his eyes met mine. It sent a pang of fear through my chest and then I hated him all over again.

Joham wouldn't let me go hunting alone, and I would never go with them. They hunted humans, and thought I was a huge freak for being opposed. So, I'm not hunting. Or eating at all, really.

None of my choices seemed right. But neither did any of the options I'd been presented. Keeping my mouth shut about how to help the girls seemed cowardly, but not more than telling Joham to increase my own chances of getting out of here. And I knew that I shouldn't be starving myself, but I couldn't betray my family's values.

I didn't even know how many days it's been. It's been two (or three?) days since I first went into the basement, and three days before that? Four?

I wondered if Jacob knew how many. If he was counting the sunrises without me or if his days were blurring into nights the same indecipherable way that mine were.

"Renesmee?" There was a soft knock on the door, pulling me out of my misery.

"Come in, Nahuel," I waved him in. "Where's Joham?"

"Basement," he replied before sitting down on the bed, a strange look of urgency in his eyes.

Before I could ask what was wrong, he blurted, "I need to go. Now."

"What?" I stood up, panic flooding my veins. "Why?"

"I need to make contact with Huilen, maybe even with your family, depending on where she is. Otherwise, no one will know where to find us. To find _you_ ," he explained in a hushed whisper.

"No, no, no." I pleaded, encircling his forearms with my shaking hands. "You can't leave me. Please, Nahuel. Take me with you."

His eyes searched mine for a moment and then he grabbed my arms the same way I was grabbing his. "That isn't possible. You're too valuable to him. You know that we could never pull that off. I have a better chance of getting out of here."

All I could do was shake my head. Nahuel reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Renesmee, he won't hurt you. He needs you."

My voice came out strangled, "He needs you too. He won't let you go."

Nahuel lowered his voice again, and put a finger to his lips for me to do the same. "The past couple of days I've been trying to convince him that I'm starting to see his side of things."

"Have you?" I demanded.

"Of course not. But he thinks that I am, so if I tell him that I want to go visit a coven in Brazil, to try to persuade them to join us, he just might buy it."

I shook my head again. This wasn't going to work.

"Trust me." Nahuel said, cracking a half-smile that showed a dimple in his right cheek. "It's our only shot."

I searched his eyes for any hesitance, but found none. "Okay." I nodded. "Okay. But be careful." I pulled him into a hug. With my chin on his shoulder, I murmured, "You'll be back?"

He nodded. "Two days, at the most."

I raised my eyebrows. "That long?"

"I have to get to the mainland off of my home island, and then figure out how to contact Huilen from there."

I grabbed a pen from the drawer and took Nahuel's hand. "You said she's with my family, maybe?" I asked as I scrawled the Cullen house's phone number onto his wrist. "Call that. Someone will answer." No matter what they're up to, they must have left _someone_ at the house.

He studied it for a second and then nodded, "Thank you."

"No," I shook my head. "Thank _you_. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here with me."

He might've blushed under his rich skin tone, but I couldn't be sure.

"Of course," he smiled, standing up. "Wish me luck." He walked out the door, and I listened to his heavy footsteps go through the hallway and down the stairs.

Two days. I could be home in two days. I could see Jacob in two days. And my parents. For the first time all day, I left the safety of my room and sat on the creaky staircase, fingers crossed as I listened. I couldn't hear them talking, but I did hear as Nahuel walked back up the stairs from the basement.

He opened the door, looked up at me at the top of the stairs, and gave me a single nod. I could have cried, or kissed him. No, wait, scratch that last thought. But I seriously owed him one. A million, if he pulled this off.

I watched Nahuel walk through the front door, and then I retreated back to my room. I bumped into Jennifer in the hall and didn't give her a second glance. She stopped and stared at me dejectedly, like I had just walked by and stuck a pin in her balloon.

"Wait," she put a hand on the door as I tried to close it. "Nessie, wait a sec."

"Don't call me that." The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them, like a muscle reflex. I almost took them back, but she pushed her way into my room and I changed my mind.

"I'm sorry," she began, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I just… I heard you telling the girls downstairs to call you that—"

"That's different." I snapped, and briefly wondered why I was being such a bitch to her. She was just as brainwashed as the pregnant girls; I shouldn't be so hard on her. "Sorry." I muttered, rubbing my eyes with my hands.

"It's okay." She smiled weakly. "I just wish you weren't so angry all of the time. We could be friends,"

I snorted a laugh. "Jennifer, it's nothing against you personally, but your father is a psycho. I. Want. To. Go. Home. I don't how much clearer I can make that."

She looked taken aback, like this was news to her. "You'll come around. Nahuel did. I know you will. You just have to be a little more open-minded."

I just snorted again.

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Renesmee?"

"Yes, Jennifer?"

"Why do you want to go home so badly? What's at home?"

I thought about how to answer her. I knew what was home; Jacob was home. My parents were home. My grandparents and my aunts and uncles, and the pack. They were everything to me. But thinking about all of them, my mind always circled back to Jake. He wasn't _at_ home, he _was_ home.

"Is it a boy?" She asked, and I laughed. She was decades older than I was, but she seemed so much younger.

"Kind of." As if Jake could summed up that easily. "And my parents. There's a lot of people I need to get back to."

She smiled up at the ceiling. "That must be nice. It's always been just me and my sisters."

"And Joham?"

She shrugged. "Only in the past decade or so, really. He wasn't around much when I was young." She didn't sound particularly bothered by this. "What about you dad?"

"He's been there since the beginning. Both of my parents have."

"Your dad remarried? A vampire?"

I frowned and wondered if I really wanted to go down this road with her right now. "No." I finally said. "She's my real mom."

"What?" Jennifer asked, standing up. "That isn't possible."

I just shrugged.

"You're telling me that your mom survived your birth as a human."

"Well, no. My dad had to change her into a vampire."

Jennifer blinked twice. "But she still _survived._ "

"I guess." I don't know why I was telling her this. I wasn't going to disclose the important details, but I was still risking her saying something to Joham. I just thought she deserved to know that we didn't have to come from trauma and loss; I wanted her to see that the way Joham was doing this was all wrong.

"That's amazing." Jennifer murmured. "Here we can't even get the babies to survive, but you and your mother lived." She shook her head in disbelief. "She must have been so strong."

"She was." I nodded in agreement.

We sat in silence again, and then Jennifer touched my knee. "Hey, I was going to go down to the basement to check on them. Do you want to come with me?"

My instant reflex was to say no, but I surprised myself and said, "Sure."

We didn't even make it that far. Maysun was running up the stairs as we were going down. "She's dying," she blurted with an unusually blank face, and then said in the same breath, "Amanda."

Jennifer pushed past both of us and demanded, "How's the baby?"

Maysun's expression didn't change, but she shook her head slightly. "It isn't time. He's not developed enough."

I didn't want to go down there; I didn't want to see. But something forced my feet to follow them down the stairs and into that room.

She was dying. That much was obvious. Her skin was impossibly pale—like she was already a corpse. Her blonde hair stuck to her damp forehead as she sobbed. Joham worked over her, attaching tubes to her arms and attaching an oxygen mask her to face. It was no use—anyone could see that.

Amanda coughed as she cried, causing blood to splatter inside the plastic mask around her mouth and nose. She kept saying something over and over, clutching her stomach in desperation. The other women watched in horror, and although I couldn't pull my gaze from Amanda, out of the corner of my eye I saw Serena and Maysun corral them out into the hall.

I slowly made my way towards the bed and her words became clear: "He's dead. He's dead." She sobbed the words again and again, seemingly at Joham. He ignored her, sticking needles in the back of her hands and pushing buttons on some big machine. She knew she was going to die. She was trying to tell him to let her; that the baby was already gone.

"Joham," I hissed, pulling at his sleeve. "The baby's dead. You have to stop."

He acted as though he didn't hear me at all. Amanda clawed at the mask on her face, so I took it off of her and began undoing some of Joham's work. I peeled off the heart monitors he had stuck to her chest. She looked grateful, and he didn't seem to notice at all.

"I'm going to die." Amanda hiccupped. I wasn't sure how to respond, so it was good that she didn't give me a chance anyway. "It's okay. It's okay." She chanted to herself. And then she threw up a fountain of her own blood, all over the white duvet. I murmured mindless assurances that it didn't matter and used a washcloth to wipe the blood from her chin.

"He's dead. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He's dead." Tears streamed down her cheeks. "He's dead." She repeated, and I realized she was talking only to me.

"Okay," I said shakily, touching her shoulder to let her know I understood. "Joham." I tried to get his attention. I put my hand on his arm, preventing him from starting a blood transfusion. " _Stop._ The baby's dead."

He turned and looked at me sharply with a look so menacing I recoiled. "It _isn't_! Not yet!"

"Yes!" I yelled back. "Stop, and _listen!_

He did, just for a second, long enough for his mind to register that the soft heartbeat that should have been under Amanda's was gone. His expression only grew angrier, and he stormed out of the room, slamming the door hard enough that I could hear the hinges pop.

Amanda was quiet now. Her tears ceased and she took a deep breath. I knew that there was nothing I could do but stay with her. I pulled up a chair from the corner and she whispered, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." I tried, unsuccessfully, to keep my voice normal. "Can I do anything for you?"

She shook her head, smiling a little bit as she studied me carefully. "You're the Loch Ness Monster."

I forced a smile back at her. "That's me."

"You haven't been back down to see us."

I felt an overwhelming surge of guilt, and I stuttered on a few words before she cut me off. "It's okay. The atmosphere down here is pretty depressing."

We sat in silence for a few beats, and then she threw up blood again, this time mostly in a bowl I snatched from across the room. She thanked me, breathless. Her heartbeat slowed.

"Where are you from?" I asked her, just to say something. To maybe create the feeling that we were just two normal girls chatting over brunch.

"Idaho." She breathed. "A little tiny town you've never heard of."

"Try me."

"Salmon. Salmon, Idaho."

"It's the birthplace of Sacajawea."

She grinned and let out a laugh. "Wow? Really? I didn't even know that one." On the last word she coughed, splattering more blood into her hand. I offered her a towel, but she shook her head. "What about you?"

"Washington, also a little tiny town you've never heard of."

She smiled weakly. "Try me,"

"Forks."

She pondered this for a moment, and then laughed, "Okay, you've got me there." I forced myself to laugh with her. She needed it.

"I was in Spain when Joham found me." She continued. "For work."

"What do you do?"

"I was a painter." She said, and I cringed at her emphasis on the past tense verb, like she was already dead. "And there was this exhibit by my favorite artist that I went to go see. I was only supposed to be there for a week. But I met Joham the day before I was going home, and he convinced me to stay. I thought we were in love."

I hesitated. "Did you… do you love him?"

She shook her head. "I didn't even know what he was, or what he had done to me, until it was too late. And then, to make it better, he convinced me that he loved me. And that was enough for me to be okay. And once it wasn't anymore, I had my baby, and _he_ was more than enough. He still is."

I stared at her. She was dying, her baby was dead, and she was telling me that it was worth it. "So… you don't have any regrets?"

"I can't say I do. I know you don't understand. It isn't about Joham, it stopped being about him a long ago. But it was like, once I had my baby with me, that feeling of having him and loving him became everything. Joham sort of… faded into the background."

"But you knew all he wanted was the baby, that he was using you?"

"I knew. He promised me he would take care of him, so it was okay. Nothing else seemed to matter. And now that the baby's gone and I'll be gone with him, nothing at all matters anymore anyway." A single tear fell down her cheek.

I must have looked as confused as I felt, because she added, "You'll understand someday. About that feeling."

I wasn't sure about that, but I nodded like I was.

She winced and squeezed her eyes shut. She reached out blindly for my hand through the sheets, squeezing hard when she found it. I squeezed back.

"You know I'm only twenty-two." She said, eyes still closed. I shook my head, even though she couldn't see me do it. "How old are you, Nessie?"

"Seven."

She opened her eyes, surprised. And then amusement lit them up. "Would my baby have been as big as you in seven years?"

Using every fiber concentration in my being to not start crying, I nodded.

She smiled sadly. "I'm going to go to sleep now. Could you switch off that light?"

Numbly, I stood and turned off the bright fluorescent lights. I took my seat again and wove my fingers through Amanda's. "Are you afraid?" I whispered.

Her blue eyes met mine. "No. Not in the way you think."

I suppressed a sob, and she assured me, "It's okay. It's really okay. We're okay."

"Okay." I whispered, nodding. "We're okay."

She squeezed my hand one last time, closed her eyes, and I let myself cry.

I tried to be silent at first, so I wouldn't disturb her. But when her hand went limp in mine, I sobbed like I never had before. Loud, ugly cries that shook me to my core. Because suddenly I was alone, holding hands with a corpse in the dark.


	11. Chapter 11: Light

_Chapter 11- Jacob_

A week without her.

Seven days, seven nights. 168 hours. 10080 minutes. Twenty meals that I can't eat. Fourteen sunrises, all of which I have been awake to see, on account that I don't exactly sleep anymore. It doesn't matter how I break it down; it doesn't make anything any better.

Everyday without her felt more surreal. I imagine that this is what waking up with a missing limb would feel like. Like, you swore your arm was there a second ago, but when you go to reach for something, you realize it's gone. And it still seems to ache this dull, throbbing pain because your brain can't accept the fact that your left arm just isn't there anymore.

But it's not even really like that. I could live without my left arm. Renesmee was more like my lungs or kidneys or something that people can't really afford to lose.

"Jake?" Bella reached out and touched my hand. "You okay?"

Oh yeah, Bells, just counting the different ways that your daughter is like my kidney. And of course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be okay? Oh, maybe because we could have been with Nessie in a few hours, we could at least be on the same fucking continent if we hadn't put everything on hold because Alice had a "feeling" about something.

There are sixteen people in this house, fourteen vampires plus Seth and me, and we should have been on four different planes, all going to four different countries. But lo and behold, Alice has not even a vision, just a _feeling,_ begs us to wait, and our plans are frozen. I almost went anyway. No way could I sit useless another day. But Edward told me to give it until noon, and then we could leave, and Alice could do what she wanted.

She has an hour left. And then Edward and Bella and I are on a plane to Peru. Blondie and Emmett will go with Carmen and Eleazar to Bolivia; Carlisle, Esme, Kate and Garrett go to Paraguay. And then Alice, Jasper, and Tanya were supposed to go to Colombia, and we would sweep those countries and meet in Brazil. Huilen would be headed there first. It would take a long time, but Huilen said Ness could be in any of those countries, and we didn't have any other ideas. And I can tell you that I am royally pissed off with Alice for jeopardizing our half-assed plan.

"Jake?" Bella shook my arm again, and I realized I never answered her.

"I'm fine, Bella."

I looked across the room at Alice, who sat on the floor with her head in between her knees. At this point, not much conversation was going on, between anybody. I kept one eye on the clock. Fifty-three minutes.

Upstairs, Emmett paced. And not just now, all of the time. The sound of his footsteps has become as constant as the rain this past week. I counted his steps, I counted the seconds tick by on the clock, I kept an eye on Bella for a warning that she was about to explode, even though Edward was probably more capable at the moment of handling an unstable Bella.

Emmett's footsteps stopped abruptly. Just for a moment, and then he came barreling down the stairs. He stopped in front of Alice, still balled up against the wall. "Ali," he began, crouching down to her. "I can't do it. I can't wait any longer." He whispered, pleading. I don't think I've ever heard Emmett beg for anything in my life. But here he was, asking Alice for permission to go find his niece.

"I know," Alice whimpered, without looking up at him. "I know. I'm sorry. I just… I can't see her, and I—I'm trying so hard…. I just having this _feeling_ —"

"But you've _never_ been able to see her," Emmett said somewhat pointedly, taking the words right out of my mouth. "Alice, we've gotta go. We're wasting time." He added, and Jasper looked at him sharply.

"What? Like he's wrong?" The words slipped out of my mouth too quickly, but I didn't regret them enough to take them back.

"Jake," Bella reprimanded softly.

Alice's head snapped up, but not at my words, or Emmett's. Her eyes were locked on something past us, to my right. I followed her gaze, and I watched everyone else in the room do the same. It landed on the house phone, which sat propped up in its charging station.

"What—" Bella began to ask, shaking her head in confusion.

And then it rang. Alice's eyes widened and the edges of her lips curled into the slightest smile that said, _Told you so._

* * *

 _Renesmee_

It had only been days since I'd last seen him. I didn't even know how many. But I swear I was already starting to forget the sound of his voice. I clung to every memory, desperate to rewind and recapture every moment I had spent with him. I couldn't remember the warmth of his skin or the feeling of his lips against mine. I could feel it all slipping away, no matter how much I clawed and fought with my own mind to keep him with me. His dark eyes drifted a little farther away every time I closed mine.

But I could still see his face clearly; the agonizing tilt of his smile, and it willed me to breathe every time I thought that maybe I could just… stop. I didn't need oxygen anymore. His memory filled my lungs—kept my heart beating effortlessly, despite the fact that I didn't eat, or drink water, or sleep anymore.

It wasn't even that I missed him. Four days ago maybe, I missed him. Now, I needed him. My skin ached with his absence. I shivered without his warmth. He was my sun, but he was also the reason that I had any light of my own. Without him, I wondered how long I had before my light went out. I wondered if his would go out without mine, and if I would feel it. I bet I will. I bet it's going to hurt. I bet it's going to hurt worse than this.

Corrine will die today. I don't need to be Alice to know that after taking one look at her yesterday. But there's nothing I can do. I haven't spoken to anybody since Jennifer had to pull me away from Amanda's body a couple of days ago. I didn't want to leave her, I didn't trust Joham to take care of her properly. I fell asleep in the chair next to her, her stiff fingers still enclosed in mine, until the next morning when Jennifer had to physically tear me away from her and take me upstairs.

Nahuel should hopefully be back today. I needed him to come back. I didn't feel safe without him here. Granted, I didn't really feel safe here under any circumstances, but the danger seemed more prominent without him. I could get an hour or two of sleep when he was here.

I was afraid a week ago. Now, I'm terrified. If Corrine died, that would only leave April and Julie. And what about when they die? They were the only things that protected me from Joham. He was too occupied with them to do anything about me. But once they're gone… I'll become his sole focus. I couldn't let myself begin to imagine what he could do to me…. Or maybe worse, what he could make Nahuel do to me.

I shook the thought from my head. I needed to venture downstairs today, to find some filtered water at the very least. I think I remember reading something somewhere about tap water in South America being dangerous.

I stopped being hungry yesterday. Or even if I was actually hungry, the burning in my throat made me numb to it. I never thought that I _needed_ blood. I hunted every other day or so because my family did, and because they wanted me to. But I was told that I could survive without it, and maybe I could, but not comfortably. It felt like someone had shoved a hot curling iron down my throat, and frankly, I was getting kind of desperate.

The sun wasn't even up yet, but the house was awake. Serena, Jennifer and Maysun never went to bed last night, and Joham always spent the night in the lab. I cracked open my door and peered into the dark hallway. I crept down the stairs, and relaxed a little bit when I knew it was only Jennifer in the kitchen.

"Hey." I greeted her hesitantly.

"Hi," she said cheerfully, a mug in her hand. "I just brewed some tea, do you want some?"

"No, thanks, but could I have some water?"

She looked at me strangely and gave a little laugh. "Of course," she grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and tossed it to me. "This is your house now too, Renesmee. Help yourself to anything you want."

I suppressed a grimace and thanked her. I didn't ever see myself even wanting to feel at home here, but she's sweet—clueless, but sweet— so I needed to be nice. The cold water felt like heaven sliding down the burning flesh of my throat. "How's Corrine?" I asked, forcing myself to not chug the whole thing right there.

Jennifer frowned. "Not too well. I don't think she'll last the day. Father is incredibly disappointed. But I reminded him that he mustn't give up hope, because after all, _we_ exist, don't we? He made four hybrids, and there will surely be more to come. And I told him what you told me, about your mother, and he said he wanted to talk to—"

"What?" I demanded, the blood draining from my face. "What _exactly_ did you tell him?"

She looked baffled. "I—Just—I told him what you told me, just to keep him motivated, so he would remember that anything is possible—"

"What did he say?"

She shrugged. "He was shocked, and amazed. He said he wanted to talk to you about it. That's all."

On her last word, the basement door opened. Joham stood, beaming when he saw me. "My girls!" He exclaimed, and I tried not to gag. His sleeves were rolled up, his arms and hands stained with blood. He went to the sink and began scrubbing the crimson from his skin. He turned to face me while he dried his hands. "I'm so glad you're down here, Renesmee." He walked to the long wooden table and pulled out a chair. Gesturing to it, he said, "Come. Have a seat."

Something about his tone left no room for objection. I complied, and he sat across from me. I turned to look for Jennifer, but she had vanished from the room.

"So," he began, leaning forward on his elbows. "I don't expect our dear Corrine to live beyond today, unfortunately."

"That's a shame."

His eyes narrowed. "I know you still haven't come around to what we're trying to achieve here, but I would really appreciate any suggestions you may have."

I kept my face as nonchalant as possible. "Well, I can't say that I have any."

"Are you sure?" He pressed. "Jennifer mentioned to me that your biological mother is still around to this day. Is this true?"

I moved my shaking hands from my lap and wedged them under my thighs. "Yes."

"That's marvelous, I must say." His red eyes gleamed. "And from my experience, nearly impossible."

"Yes," I agreed. "But the key word there is 'nearly'."

Anger flashed in his eyes, but he recovered quickly. "Can you think of anything that would be of use to our situation here that you would like to share with me?"

"I wasn't even born yet, Joham. All I know is that my family did a good job keeping her alive."

He ran a hand through his black hair, too deliberately for the casual look he was going for. "If it was that easy, I would have been more successful. There has to be something else."

I shrugged. "Well, she was loved. Maybe that's the secret."

Joham was suddenly standing over me, with a tight fistful of my hair and his mouth to my ear. "Listen—I know that you're thirsty," he whispered, "you have to be by now. Tell me what to do—I just need to keep the girl alive for another couple of days. If you help me do that, I'll take you hunting, for whatever it is you hunt."

I didn't say anything. I kept my mouth clamped shut; I didn't trust myself to say anything that wasn't along the lines of, 'Okay, deal'. This was the one thing that I needed to keep to myself, no matter how hard he was pulling my hair or how thirsty I was. I couldn't let him win.

Once he realized I wasn't going to cave, he released my head with a violent shove and hissed, "Let me know when you change your mind."

"I won't." I spit back, because I'm obstinate as hell. "I will not ever."

"You spoiled little girl," Joham growled, taking both of my wrists in one of his hands. He yanked me upward, out of the chair, and forced me backwards against the wall. "You have not even _begun_ to observe what I am capable of." He squeezed my wrists together, and I realized how easy it would be for him to break them, and then I was angry because that's what he _wanted_ me to realize. He wanted me to feel powerless over him.

"Tell me what to do for Corrine," he demanded again. When I didn't move a muscle, he leaned into my neck. I cold feel his cold lips just barely touching the skin right below my jawline as he spoke. "I have never before observed the affect of venom being introduced into your bloodstream." My body tensed, and a wave of shivers rushed down my spine. I could feel the sharp edge of his teeth. "You and I could find out what would happen. We could find out right now, if you'd like."

He was going to do it. I knew it. Carlisle said that my skin _seemed_ to be impenetrable, but we never tested it. It didn't matter now; there was no doubt in my mind that his teeth could tear through my skin with ease. Panic jolted through me like electricity. But he couldn't kill me, right? He needed me. Right?

Wrong, apparently. When I still said nothing, he slowly bit into the soft flesh of my neck. Not deeply, just enough for me to scream like I had been set on fire.

The pain was bewildering at first. Needless to say, my experience with even mild discomfort was extremely limited. I had never tripped and actually hit the ground. I'd never had a skinned knee, or a splinter, or even a fever. So this was beyond anything I could even imagine.

It was entirely consuming, the pain was all I could feel, all I could focus on. It burned, but not in the same way that my throat did when I was thirsty. It was impossible to describe, or make any sense of.

I didn't even realize when it was over. It was probably over way before I could comprehend that he wasn't even touching me anymore— that he was six feet away and Nahuel was in between us.

He stood in front of me, facing Joham with his arms spread out, as if to shield me. "It's over, Joham." He was saying, and I tried to recover as quickly as I could, gripping the wall to help me back to my feet. "The Cullens know everything. It's all over."

I could feel warm blood flowing down my neck, soaking into my borrowed shirt, but Nahuel had all of my attention in that moment. _They knew. They knew where I was._

"What?" Joham asked before I could. When the confusion finally cleared form his eyes, he began to shake with rage. "You _betrayed_ me, son? Again?" Joham advanced towards him, and I clumsily tried to push past Nahuel, to defend him like he had done for me.

Nahuel pushed me back gently, similar to how one would redirect a baby from crawling into a wall. My vision was starting to blur, and I may have been swaying a little. Without breaking eye contact with Joham, Nahuel reached back to me with one hand, offering his arm to keep me steady. I took it out of necessity.

"I could never support this," Nahuel told his father, his voice calm and even. "It is wrong to play God, Joham."

Joham laughed too loudly. His grin was truly frightening, and I half-expected him to kill his own son right here in the dining room.

Before he could, the basement door swung open without warning. Serena stood, looking paler than usual. "Father," she choked, "Corrine is almost gone."

Joham was frustrated, and he snapped at her, "Serena, I'm dealing with something else right now. Just.. handle it, please."

She blinked at him, unfazed. "Corrine is almost dead," she repeated. "But she's conscious. And she's in labor." At her words, Joham's eyes lit up in a way I'd never seen. Serena gave something that somewhat resembled a smile. "The baby will live."

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Okay, so I don't feel great about this chapter, but I felt like I needed to give you guys something. I'm just frustrated because I have really exciting plans for this story but there's just filler chapters that I need to put in first to set the story up, so bear with me guys.**

 **I promise, it will be worth it.**

 **Thanks for reading, and as always, I would love to hear your thoughts.**

 **-Vanessa**


	12. Chapter 12: They Aren't Coming

_Chapter 12- Renesmee_

 _Three days later._

Corrine's baby did live. And so did April's. And Julie's. They all died, of course, but that didn't matter. By then, nothing mattered. I expected Joham to force us all to a new country, a new house at the very least, with the new knowledge supplied by Nahuel. But he barely flinched. Yet I'm still stuck here.

The bite on my neck is healing. Kind of. After Joham rushed to the lab to deliver the baby and let Corrine die, Nahuel took me to the bathroom and cleaned me up. I sat on the lid of the toilet as he wiped the blood from my skin and stuck a big bandage over the entire right side of my neck. He kept apologizing that he let it happen, in between telling me about his journey into the village some hundred miles away and his phone call to my family.

They, apparently, were just about to leave, to come here, or somewhere near here, but Alice knew Nahuel would call, so they waited for his information. Nahuel said that while he talked to my father, he could hear a loud, angry man in the background. I burst out laughing for the first time in what felt like months. And then Nahuel laughed too, but he stopped once he realized that my laughter had taken a sharp turn into hysterical sobs. He kept talking about something else to get me to stop crying, but I couldn't listen anymore.

I had to get out of here. Nahuel keeps telling me to be relax and be patient, but Joham has me on edge. He's barely reacted to any of this; he isn't concerned in the slightest. Which makes me think that he's up to something, or he knows something that I don't. I can't relax and I definitely can't sit here and wait any longer for a rescue that I'm almost convinced isn't coming. Because even though it's barely been three days since Nahuel called them, that feels like more than enough time of sitting here as a patient victim. So it's time to grow up and handle it.

I pushed open my bedroom door and almost ran smack into Nahuel. "Whoa," he held his hands out, "Sorry, I was bringing you a glass of water. Where are you going?"

I tried unsuccessfully to edge past him. "I'm going to talk to Joham."

He didn't put his arms down, but outstretched them towards me, blocking my path. "Wait," he gently swept my hair behind my shoulder and eyed the bandage on my neck. "Does that hurt?"

Well, when you mention it, yeah. "Not really." I shrugged.

He examined it more closely. "It looks…bruised."

"What? It's covered up."

"I know, but it's purple around the edges of the bandage."

"Let me see," I turned into the small bathroom and flipped on the light. He was right. An ugly purple color peeked out from under the bandage that I probably should have changed by now.

I peeled it off slowly, wincing. "Here, let me." Nahuel gently replaced my hands with his and unpeeled it the rest of the way. He made a face.

"What?" I demanded, turning to the mirror inspect it for myself. It was bad. Pretty bad. The bite itself still oozed blood a little bit, and it was outlined in a deep purple. Just beyond the bruising, the skin appeared to be burned. It was angry and almost blistered-looking. And outside of that was even more bruised, damaged-looking flesh. The whole deal was pretty horrid, and about the size of my fist.

Nahuel touched the skin just above my collarbone, and I hissed and recoiled. "That hurt? The skin right there?" He asked and I nodded. "I think it's infected."

"No," I shook my head.

"Yes," he argued, "You've been getting sick. You're weaker."

"That's because I haven't hunted in almost two weeks, Nahuel." I snapped, and then felt guilty. "Can you just—please just bandage it up again? I'll deal with it later."

He didn't argue this time. And as he finished, he asked, "Why were you going to talk to Joham?"

I stood up and walked into the hall. "If my family comes here for me, they'll kill him. I think I can convince him to let me leave now to save himself." I took the stairs down two at a time, Nahuel hot on my heels.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he stepped in front of me and blocked my path. "Renesmee, have you _met_ Joham? He doesn't think ahead to the consequences of any of his actions. And right now, it's like he's forgotten you even exist, he's so preoccupied with the babies. You shouldn't risk drawing attention to yourself now. Stay quiet and your parents will be here soon."

I shook my head and lowered my voice to match his. "Nahuel, I can't take it anymore. You have no idea when my parents will be here! I will not be a helpless captive in this house another goddamned minute!"

Nahuel grasped my wrists, trying to keep me in place in front of him. I flinched back, and he let me go immediately. "Sorry," he apologized, eyeing the purple blotches that circled my wrists like bracelets. He didn't have to ask if those were courtesy of Joham.

I murmured something that sounded reassuring and made a beeline for the lab before he could stop me. "Joham," I called, pushing the heavy door open. Serena appeared instead, a finger to her lips.

"Shut up," she hissed. "They're sleeping." And then she turned on her heel and was gone. I followed her through the threshold, and scanned the large room for Joham.

Before my eyes found him, they found something else. Three somethings, actually. Maysun was holding one, a little blonde boy, and Jennifer had baby girl with dark locks. I walked past them, unable to tear my eyes away completely. They were the most perfect things I'd ever seen. I'd never even held a baby before, but I knew that they didn't all look like that.

The baby that Joham held had a full head of thick red hair and skin like porcelain. April's daughter, no doubt.

I looked around at them. Like I said, my experience with babies is little to none, but I knew that they shouldn't be nearly this big at two days old. And I hated that they all resembled Joham in one way or another. He didn't deserve that.

"Joham," I said, quieter, to get his attention. He turned to face me, his face a mask of happiness.

"Here," he tried to hand over the baby to me, but I kept my arms frozen at my sides.

"No, Joham. I came to talk to you."

Unfazed, he turned away again and retrieved a bottle that he held to the baby's mouth. It wasn't a regular baby bottle, it was metal. Like the kind that had been used to feed me. I ignored the jab of sadness in my chest.

I smelled something amazing, and for an instant I foolishly thought it was a chocolate scent coming from the bottle. But then it got richer and stronger and I realized what it was. "You're feeding them blood?" I choked out. "Human blood?"

Joham looked at me, surprised. "Of course." He set the baby down in a long steel crib. "That is what you suggested, Renesmee."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"You suggested that mothers ingest blood to supplement the babies. They're alive because of you."

I stared at him for a good ten seconds before it hit me. _I showed him. When he held my wrists, I showed him the answer to his question._ I must've. There's no other way he would know. I gave him _exactly_ what he wanted. I wanted to throw up. Or scream at him until my throat went raw. Or both.

He looked smug. So stupid and smug that I wanted to kill him.

I took a shaky breath and continued like that didn't just happen. "Joham, I think that you should let me go."

"Oh," he grinned, "and why is that?"

"My parents are coming. My whole coven. And they'll kill you. Let me find them before they find me, and maybe you won't die."

He stared at me for a second, and then burst out laughing. "Oh my dear, don't you worry yourself about that." And then he fucking _walked away_.

"Wait a second!" I chased after him. "What the hell does that mean?"

He stopped so abruptly that I ran smack into him when he turned around. "It means, my dear Renesmee, that they aren't coming for you. I have been in contact with them, and they don't _want_ you."

The blood drained from my cheeks; I felt it flood all the way down my neck before it all settled in my chest. "You're lying."

He laughed again, the sound like metal on asphalt. "It's been _three days_ , Renesmee. You and I both know that they would have been here by now if they were coming."

No, not necessarily. I mean, anything could've happened, or come up.

But it _has_ been three days. That was more than enough time… No. He's lying. He's just trying to get into my head.

"I know what you're thinking," he lowered his voice, and looked almost sympathetic. "But sweetheart, I'm telling you this because I care about you. _They. Aren't. Coming._ Okay?"

I shook my head. "That isn't true."

"Yes, it is." He said through his teeth.

"Then I'll go to them," I hissed back. "I am _leaving,_ Joham."

With a hand on my jaw and the other in my hair he pushed me against the wall. He gently stroked my cheek with his thumb and I tried to jerk away. His grip only tightened. "They don't want you, Renesmee. But _I_ do." He promised, tucking a curl behind my ear. "Listen to me very carefully: you will fulfill your purpose for being here, one way or another. And then you will be free to do as you please, be that join our family or go back to one that abandoned you. The choice will be yours."

A shiver ran down my spine and I blinked back tears. Crying was so not an option. "I don't owe you anything. Neither does Nahuel. He's on _my_ side." I spit the words at him, completely confident that they were true.

"I'm well aware that my son in useless," he leaned in and whispered into my hair, "but you know why you're here. You know what I need from you. And Nahuel may not touch you, but keep in mind: it's him or me."

In a gust of air, he left, leaving me alone to absorb his words. But I understood them the first time, and running them through my mind again did nothing but make me dry heave into the sink in the corner.

 _It's him or me._

* * *

 **AN:**

 **What's going on with the Cullens? Why hasn't Jacob come to the rescue? Idk…**

 **Yeah, it's been like a month.**

 **I suck, I'm sorry. But ya know, finals sucked the life outta me.**

 **So here ya go!**

 **I pinky promise another one will be up by next week. And guys, PLEASE tell me what you think. There is nothing I love more than reading your** **thoughts and opinions.**

 **Thanks for reading! Review!**

 **-Vanessa**


	13. Chapter 13: The Call

_Chapter 13- Jacob_

I was losing my mind.

Day by day, piece by piece. I had no patience for anything or anybody. The worst part wasn't the way I felt, it was how _she_ felt. I felt it, everyday. All of the time.

That other half-vamp, Nahuel, had been Alice's phone call.

He said she was okay. She was safe, for now. After much persistence, Edward let me talk to him. I probably sounded insane, begging him to make sure she was okay. I was both desperate for his help and angry that _he_ got to protect her. How could he even know that she was okay? He had no clue who she was.

There was no way he could see through her; he couldn't speak her language—not like I could. When he said she was "okay", that just meant that she was alive.

He didn't give many details. He was eager to get back to her. And then I had to hate him for that, for a while.

But most importantly, he told us where she was. Paraguay. Deep in the Atlantic Forest. So you'd think we would've been good to go, right? Off we should have gone? In theory, yes.

So why, four days later, was I still sitting on the Cullen's living room couch?

The same day, the same _afternoon_ as Nahuel's phone call, we got a letter. From _Joham_.

Here was the gist: He needed Renesmee, temporarily. He was pretty vague in his reasoning, but he made it very clear that if we left them alone until he was done with whatever wanted her for, he'll let us come get her. But any attempts to remove her from him before he gives the go-ahead, and he'll kill her. He even included a lock of her copper hair for good measure.

I've never fantasized about killing someone in so many different ways.

I didn't know what he wanted her for, not exactly. Nobody talked about it. We all had our own ideas, I'm sure, but they don't get shared. I didn't let myself think about it for more than three seconds at a time.

"Jacob." My head snapped up at my name, and it took my eyes a second to focus on the face that said it. Garrett. We'd kind of become friends, mostly because he's the only one around here good at deflecting my misery.

"Huh?"

"Are you listening?" He asked, referring to the meeting Edward seemed to be holding.

"Can't say I am."

He nodded. "I'll let you know if anything new comes up."

Edward sighed. I don't think anyone was listening to him. We practically live in a state of a perpetual family meeting so we can feel productive, like we're making a plan. But we aren't. Nothing new is discussed, we've covered everything. There's nothing we can do but wait.

But he continued on anyway, like the broken record he was. "As I was saying—"

He was cut off by the phone ringing. At first, nobody answered it. We all just kind of looked around. Like every person in the room was thinking that anyone worth talking to was already here, so what was the point? That's been my response to everything lately. _What's the point?_ Because she is. Renesmee is my point.

Carlisle finally got around to answering it. I wasn't paying much attention until Edward leapt to his feet and I could hear Carlisle saying, "Renesmee? Is that you?"

No. It couldn't be. But as I stood up and listened, I had no doubt it was her. I could never miss or mistake the sound of her voice. But I couldn't be too sure; this seemed like a cruel trick my mind would play on me.

I knew it was real when Bella was suddenly standing beside me, completely frozen, except for her hand, which reached for my arm. Carlisle put the phone on speaker, and everybody fell silent as we listened to Renesmee.

It sounded like she was crying. And she was speaking so quickly it was difficult to understand her. "Nahuel got me a phone, I can't talk long." She whispered. "But I need to know."

"What, sweetheart?" Carlisle didn't miss a beat, while the rest of us were stunned into silence.

"Joham, he told me why you haven't come yet. Why haven't you come yet?" She sounded so desperate; I needed to talk to her. I needed to know how she was. But my voice was stuck in my throat.

Carlisle started to reply, but Edward shook his head at whatever Carlisle was planning on telling her. Edward took over and told Nessie, "We're working on it sweetheart, I promise you. We're all here. We love you, and we're going to get you out of there. You just need to hang on a little while longer." He had to squeeze his eyes closed and choke out the last sentence, his hands tugging furiously at his hair.

"Okay," Nessie breathed, a sob escaping her throat. Why didn't her want her to know about the letter?

"I'm so sorry, baby. We're doing everything we can." Edward told her, his voice low, and I couldn't help but feel like he just lied to her. He gave me a sharp look. But it was true. We'd failed her.

"Okay," Ness repeated. "It's okay. It's okay."

There was so much I wanted to ask her. There was so much I wanted to know. Like, _Are you okay?_ And, _How could you let me let this happen? We were supposed to keep each other sane and alive and I love you more than anything so how could this happen?_

"Baby," Bella choked out in a strangled tone, barely above a whisper. "Baby, are you hurt? Did he hurt you?"

"Mom," Nessie said, like she was surprised to hear Bella. "No, Mom. I'm okay."

She lied. But Bella nodded and wrapped her arms around herself. "Okay." I think she wanted to say more, but she stopped herself there.

"I only have a minute, so listen carefully and don't interrupt." Renesmee continued, and just for a second, she sounded like herself. "Joham is amassing hybrids. Not very successfully, but that's what he's going for, and I don't think he's going to stop."

"Hybrids? How?" Garrett asked, and Kate slapped his arm and shushed him.

"Garrett?" Nessie asked, and I could hear the smile in her voice. "I said don't interrupt me."

He chuckled, and Emmett joined in.

"Okay," she continued, "He's making hybrids. And they were dying, but now they aren't… and so he'll keep making more. And… I think it's my fault. No, it _is_ my fault. He's going to keep doing this, and I can't stop him. But that's like, illegal, right? To make groups of vampires like that?"

"Yes." Carlisle answered her.

"You want us to involve the Volturi." Edward said, and it wasn't a question.

There was mumbling on her side of the line, and I heard her say, "Buy me one more minute." And then to us, she said, "I have to go really soon. I know that Nahuel called, but I just wanted to tell you everything I know, incase I don't talk to you again." Her voice broke again, and I saw Carmen's head fall into her hands.

God, she thinks we're not coming. That we gave up on her, or that we're going to be too late. Bella shot Edward a desperate look. Her eyes asked the same question mine did. _Why couldn't we tell her?_

"I love you." Nessie went on. "I love you all. I just—I needed to tell you." Nobody knew what to say to her. There was no way to tell her how loved she was, and how desperate we were to get her home.

"Jacob?" Nessie whispered into the phone. "Are you there?"

My hands felt tingly and I couldn't make myself answer her. Nobody said anything. Nessie waited, like she knew. She always knows. I walked slowly to the coffee table that the phone sat on, picked it up, turned off the speakerphone, and held it to my ear. Everyone would be able to hear, regardless, but this felt more normal; I could almost pretend this was just like every other phone call we'd ever had. Just me and her.

I took a deep breath. I had to be calm when I talked to her. If I let her hear that I was afraid or freaking out, she would too. "I'm here, Ness."

And then she really started to cry. Full-blown sobbing, and I could tell she had a hand over her mouth to keep from making noise. Edward looked at me warily, warning me to keep it together.

"Don't cry, Ness." I practically begged her. "Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, which was way worse than the crying.

"Ness—Just… Are you okay?" I turned away from the fourteen people watching and walked to the window.

She didn't continue to cry like I expected her to. Instead she fell silent. "No, I'm not." She finally whispered. I nodded even though she couldn't see me. She continued, "I'm so scared, Jacob. I've never been so terrified in my entire life, and I miss you so much."

I didn't know what to tell her. I wanted to promise her that I would keep her safe, and that she didn't need to be afraid. But she was there and I was here, and the truth was that I couldn't protect her.

So I asked her, "Are you hurt?"

"Don't worry."

"Ness."

"It's okay. There's nothing you can do, and I don't want anyone to worry."

I sighed. So she was hurt, probably, but she wasn't going to give me any details about it.

"Jacob? I love you. Okay?"

I squeezed my eyes closed. "Don't, Ness. I'm going to get you out of there."

She cried softly, silently. "I love you, Jacob. Always."

"I love you." I surrendered. But I wouldn't let myself go father than that. "I love you, and we're going to bring you home. I promise you that."

I could practically feel Edward glaring a hole through my head for that one. But she had to know that we weren't planning on leaving her there.

Renesmee sniffed. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Jake."

And before I could respond, I heard Nahuel say something, urgently. "Fuck," Nessie hissed back in a whisper, and there was a crashing-sound, and then she was gone.

"What the fuck was that!" I exploded the second we heard the dial tone. I turned to Edward, "Why the hell couldn't we tell her about the letter?!"

He sighed like I was a five year old he was explaining this to for the eleventh time. "Jacob, that wouldn't have been good for her."

"It would have been a hell of a lot better than her thinking that we just haven't come for no reason," Emmett inserted.

"She's smarter than that," Kate protested. "She knows there's a reason we haven't come for her, and she knows there's a reason that you didn't want to tell her that reason. She didn't pry, because she trusts you."

I shook my head. "She didn't pry because she was afraid she wouldn't like the truth. Nessie doesn't ask questions she doesn't want to know the answer to." Bella pressed her lips into a thin line, like she wanted to disagree with me but knew she couldn't.

"Wait a second," Eleazar held up a finger, confused. "She said that Joham was _making_ hybrids?"

Edward stiffened. And then he nodded and said, "Yes, there's only one way to create hybrids. Joham considers himself a hybrid geneticist."

When Edward said that, my mind kind of went, _Oh. That's why he wants her._ And then it was, _Oh, fucking shit. NO. No way. Oh my god._

I was going to throw up. Literally and completely.

"Oh my fucking god," Kate took the words right out of my mouth.

"We have to get her, now." Rosalie hissed, jumping to her feet. "Right now!"

"Hey," Emmett took her hands.

"No!" She shook him off. " _That's_ why he wants her. We can't let that happen!"

Bella sank to the floor. "He'll kill her, Rose. We have to wait."

"No, we can't wait." I sided with Rosalie for once. "Nessie was right. The Volturi would shut this down, right?"

"Probably," Edward replied. "But Nessie said the babies were dying."

"Makes sense," Alice shrugged nonchalantly. "I'd imagine that she was talking about the babies _and_ the mothers, given that's what would've happened to Bella. But what did she mean about it being her fault?"

"She said it was her fault that they were surviving the birth," Carlisle mused. "And that them living equaled Joham continuing to create them."

"Her fault?" Bella frowned.

Nobody knew what that meant.

"The Volturi will take care of this, no problem." Jasper decided.

"But do we want to draw attention to ourselves that way? Especially attention from _them?_ " Esme questioned, speaking up for the first time in a while.

Rosalie nodded. "Renesmee is _terrified_ of them."

"She wouldn't have to deal with them." Edward said.

"And that's the only way to get Nessie back on our time, not Joham's." I added. "So that's what we do, right?"

People looked around. Nobody protested.

Good enough for me.

* * *

 _Renesmee_

He's gone. Nahuel is gone.

Because he wanted to get me a phone. So I could talk to my family.

And Joham caught us. He found it.

And he took Nahuel somewhere. I haven't seen him all day. I'm alone. Nahuel was the only defense I had.

And I think he was right. The bite on my neck was making me sick. And I still hadn't hunted.

I broke my own rule of not crying again while I'm here. All I did was sit in my room, with the door locked, like that would actually stop Joham. I ran back the conversation with my family, over and over. It made me sick to think that they were just as stuck as I was, with no plan and no hope. I didn't understand their restraints, but I knew that they had them.

I wasn't a fan of the Volutri, but they could take care of this shit show. According to Joham, he would be so successful by the time they caught up to him that they would join his project, rather than condemn him. But I knew better. They were a bunch of assholes—stone cold rule-followers with no room for disagreement. And Nahuel had already warned them years ago about Joham, warnings that they ignored.

I sat in the corner of my room and tried to tell myself not to be scared. The hardwood floor beneath me was just wood, from some poor tree. The bed was just a bed. The light on the ceiling was just glass. And I was just me, and I was strong.

A irrational burst of confidence convinced me to get up. I opened my bedroom door, with no particular intentions of what to do next, other than maybe finding Nahuel.

I met Joham face-to-face, and the burst deflated. He look surprised to see me, and I'm sure I looked horrified to see him.

In his left hand, he held a syringe, filled with a clear fluid. I felt the blood drain from my face. "Please," I held my hands up, like that could stop him. "Please, don't."

"You called your coven." Joham said, his voice even and reserved. "You ruined my whole operation. And I revoke the deal I made with them."

I dropped my hands. "What deal?"

"I told them that you would be returned to them, on my terms."

"What were your terms? After I'd 'fulfilled my purpose'? Joham, what makes you think I even _have_ a purpose to you?" He didn't say anything, so I kept going. "They teach it in every biology class: _Hybrids can't reproduce_." I thought about what those words meant. I hadn't really, ever before.

He was unfazed. "Under absolutely perfect conditions, they can."

"Nothing about these conditions is perfect!" I yelled.

He took a step closer to me and lowered his voice. "Child, there is _nothing_ you can tell me about this that I don't already know."

"I choose Nahuel."I blurted, out of fear. "If you're going to do this to me, then I choose Nahuel."

Joham shook his head sadly. "It's too late for that."

I backed up against the wall. "Please." I begged.

His expression was blank, lifeless. Like he couldn't hear me anymore, or stopped caring.

He came into the room. I couldn't find my voice.

He shut the door.

* * *

 **AN :**

 **Hi there! Thanks for reading! Yes, I'm probably going to skip over a little bit right there.** **I don't think I want to get graphic.**

 **But thanks again, and let me know what you think!**

 **xoxo,**

 **Vanessa**


	14. Chapter 14: Transitional Peace

_Chapter 14- Jacob_

It turns out, parents freak out when they don't hear from their kid in a week, even if you're legally an adult. It was my fault; I should've at least called Rach. But it's not like she hasn't heard everything by now, anyway.

I sent her a text to call Dad for me, and then I turned my phone off.

It was Thursday, exactly two weeks from when she disappeared. By the time we get to her, it'll be fifteen days, but we're on our way. She's still 6,000 miles away, but I'm closer to her I have been in a long time. I couldn't tell you when I last slept, or ate, but that didn't matter. Because I would have her soon, I would be able to hold her and promise her that nothing bad will ever touch her ever again.

First, we had to go to the Volturi. Not me, because that obviously wouldn't have gone over well, but Edward and Carlisle went. They got back this morning, and announced that the Volturi will step in. They're sending Felix, Demetri, Jane, and Alec to take care of Joham. We'll meet them there, except the Denali clan will stay here, along with Esme. We didn't want to overwhelm Nessie. But they have a house in Campo Grande, Brazil, which is only a three-hour plane ride from where Ness is. We'll bring her back there and stay a night before we head back home.

"We need to be in the air within the hour," Edward said, throwing a duffel bag into the back of his Volvo. "To get there before they do."

I nodded, although I wasn't exactly sure why he wanted to get there before the Volturi did.

He stopped and sighed like I was a complete moron. "Do you want them to get to Renesmee before we do?"

I rolled my eyes. "Geographically speaking, Edward, won't they beat us?"

He shook his head. "We're over 100 miles closer Paraguay than they are."

"And they go on foot." Emmett added, packing his Jeep. "Fucking idiots."

Carlisle clapped his hands together. "Okay. The plane will be ready at three."

I glanced at the clock. 2:10. We needed to leave right now.

"Do we have a plan for when we get there?" Bella inquired, obviously stressed, to anyone that would listen. I forget she isn't good under pressure.

"Nope." Emmett took a bag from her. "We're winging it."

She glared at him.

"Of course we have a plan." Edward assured her. "We'll go over it on the way."

I suppressed an eye-roll. Edward and Bella were the perfect pair of control-freaks. Bell would have the whole trip itinerary outlined within the hour.

"Seth," I touched his shoulder, startling him awake in his chair. "Go home, man."

He yawned. "Alright. But call me when you get her, okay?"

"I will." I promised.

And then there were hugs, and _I love you_ 's, and _Call us when you get there_ 's, and we left, and drove to a small airport just outside of Port Angeles.

The Cullens, of course, had their own plane, because why wouldn't they? The ride was unbearably long and consisted of Rosalie and Alice's mindless chatter and Emmett's pacing.

Eventually, Edward cleared his throat. "So," he began. "After some discussion, Carlisle and I have agreed that the majority of us need to wait at the Denali's for the others to bring Renesmee there. We don't know what kind of state she's in, and I think that the less people there, the better. We need to get in and out with her as quickly as possible; the Volturi take care of everything else."

I agreed with him, but he sure as hell better not expect me to do the waiting. He looked at me and shook his head.

"You're right." Bella nodded, resting her hand on Edward's. "I think that you need to go, Edward, and Carlisle needs to go, and so does Jacob. But everyone else should stay."

I stared at her in shock. "Not you, Bells?"

At the same time, Rosalie huffed, "Renesmee would want at least _one_ of us women there for her."

"It's just a couple hours of a difference, right?" Bella shrugged. "And I'm not sure I trust myself to have the necessary amount of focus in that…situation. I'm not good under pressure."

She was kind of right, but Edward frowned. "Bella, are you sure? You would do fine—"

She cut him off, "You said it yourself. The less people, the better."

And that was that.

Hours later, we landed. Carlisle rented us a large SUV and a Jeep that Emmett was excited about, and we drove to the Denali's extravagant Campo Grande home. It had six bedrooms and sat in a green, forest-like suburban area, pretty secluded from the busy city.

Almost immediately, Edward and Carlisle and I left. We piled into the Jeep, Carlisle in the driver's seat and me in the back.

"I'm going to kill him." Edward said, very seriously and calmly, once we were a few miles from the Denali's house.

Carlisle said nothing, but I decided to humor him. " _That's_ the real reason we have to get there before the Volturi, isn't it?"

Edward rolled his eyes at me in the rearview mirror.

Not even a minute later, a cell phone rang. Edward plucked it from his pocket and held it to his ear. "Hello?"

It was Nahuel, and he was freaking out. I listened carefully, trying to make out his frantic words.

"I don't know where he went—Just got here—He left everything—No trace that I can find—"

Edward swore into the phone. "Okay. We'll be there in 30 minutes." He promised. "The Volturi aren't far behind, they'll find him. Don't worry too much. Where's Renesmee? Is she okay?"

"I don't know." Nahuel said. "I knocked on her door, but she wouldn't let me come in."

"Okay," Edward nodded. "Tell her we'll be there soon, please."

"Of course," Nahuel agreed, and hung up.

The ride was bumpy and tense and anything but pleasant, but Carlisle cut the travel time in half by sometimes creating his own roads amongst the forestry and driving no slower than 110 miles per hour. Not to mention he was getting us there using only the coordinates provided earlier by Nahuel.

I thought about what he said, about her not letting him in. I had this bad feeling in my gut, this awful tugging that I'd felt since I lost her, but it seemed to be getting worse the closer I got.

Edward was seething in the passenger seat. "He left. He just abandoned everything?"

"He knew we were coming." Carlisle sighed.

"How?" I asked.

The doctor shrugged. "You can't live that long without making connections to help you out."

"Somebody tipped him off?"

"Most likely." Carlisle sighed. And then he told Edward, "They'll find him."

"What if they don't?" Edward growled.

"They always do." I saw Carlisle's hands tighten around the steering wheel. "They keep Demetri around for a reason."

He must be the tracker. Carlisle was right; they would eventually find him. Edward was just bitter because he wouldn't get to shred him into pieces.

"Like you wouldn't kill for the opportunity." Edward snapped.

"I'm not saying I wouldn't," I argued. "I just don't get how you can put that much focus on anything but Nessie right now." Edward's jaw set into a hard edge. "She comes first." I continued. "We'll figure out everything else afterwards."

I saw him nod in agreement the tiniest bit. After a few beats of silence, he said, "Jacob, if the necessity arises, I'm sending you and Nessie away."

I drew a complete blank. It took me a second to choke out, " _What_ are you talking about?"

"I know the Volturi will find him in the next 48 hours, but if for some reason they don't, we will help them search, and we can't have Renesmee return home. We can't risk him knowing where she is."

This made sense conceptually, but I couldn't imagine Edward condoning Nessie and I alone _anywhere_ , let alone in some discreet location off the grid.

He huffed. "This is all entirely theoretical."

"But you're right," Carlisle said. "We need to have an emergency plan similar to that."

I'm sure that's what they spent the remainder of the ride doing, but I wasn't listening. The closer we got, the more I could feel her. And she felt so good; so familiar.

Ten minutes later, we arrived.

Nahuel appeared from the sprawling white farmhouse as we pulled up. I was immediately concerned that Renesmee wasn't with him, but I don't know why I expected her to be.

Edward was out of the car before I was and shook Nahuel's hand. "He was gone before you got here?" Edward asked him.

Nahuel nodded. "He sent me away two days ago, when I returned this morning, he was gone. I have no idea which way he went."

"Renesmee?" I asked him, and he nodded.

"She's here. Upstairs. I don't know what he did to her, but I don't think she's okay."

I looked at Carlisle and Edward. Edward nodded at me. "Go get her. The Volturi will be here any minute. We'll wait for them."

I nodded, and started jogging past them, up to the house.

"Jacob, wait." Edward stopped me. I turned just in time to catch a duffel bag he grabbed from the backseat and threw at me. "Alice packed it. She said leave it after Ness gets what she needs."

"Got it," I nodded, running the rest of the way inside. Nahuel answered every question Edward and Carlisle threw at him and he insisted they follow him to the basement. He wanted me to see Renesmee first. I didn't know why, but I felt like I owed him.

The house was obviously old; the wood floor creaked with every step. There were many different scents, and I heart different heartbeats from farther away, maybe in the basement, that sounded like Nessie's, but weren't.

I followed the sound of her heartbeat upstairs. There were so many rooms that all looked the same from the outside, but I knew which door she was behind without even looking.

My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I pushed the creaky door open. At first glance I didn't see Nessie, asleep on the bed. And then as I peered closer, I didn't believe it was her.

Of course it was, but with a split lip and dark circles under her eyes so deep and so purple that they looked like bruises against her pale skin. She was curled up in this tight little ball, and I wanted so badly to untangle her limbs and inspect every inch of her to make sure she was okay and to kiss her hold her.

But she wasn't the same, and I was stupid for trying to pretend she was. I tried to reach out and touch her shoulder as I said her name. This was my first mistake.

Her big brown eyes flew open, but they were darker than I'd ever seen them. Almost black, like mine. She threw herself backward against the headboard so forcefully you'd think she was trying to disappear into it, and she immediately started hyperventilating.

"Ness," I whispered. Then I made my second mistake. I tried to reach out to her again, and she screamed like my hands were made of fire and folded her knees to her chest, turning her back to me like she was protecting herself. "Honey, it's just me." I tried again. She began to sob violently, and I forced myself to take a step away from her. "Nessie, baby. It's me. It's Jacob." When she heard my name, she quieted, and after a minute she peeked up at me through her hair. Tears streamed down her cheeks. I held my hands out in front of me for her to see. "It's just me."

"Jacob," she breathed, and unfolded herself, reaching out to me. I pulled her to me, warily. "Jacob," She said again, sobbing into my chest, clutching at my shirt. I hugged her, concentrating on the smell of her hair and the feeling of her skin under my fingertips.

She was thinner. It had only been two weeks, but she felt more fragile under my hands, like if I squeezed her too tightly she'd break. I could've held her like that forever, I would have, but there was a loud bang and baby crying downstairs, and I remembered that we didn't have all day.

"Ness," I untangled her from me. "We've gotta get going."

"Home?" She asked, pulling away.

I just nodded, because the truth was close enough. "Your dad is here, and Carlisle. They're with Nahuel. Baby, are you hurt?"

She shook her head. I glanced at the angry red line in the middle of her bottom lip and raised my eyebrows. She looked down at her hands.

I grabbed Alice's bag that I'd abandoned on the floor. "Here," I pulled out a sweater and handed it to Renesmee. She quickly pulled off the shirt she was wearing and took the sweater from me with fumbling hands. I froze when I realized that she wasn't wearing anything under that oversized shirt other than a pink lace bra. Nothing else. And she didn't seem the least bit concerned by this. I don't think she even noticed. And so I had to pretend that I didn't notice, but how could I not? I hadn't actually seen her naked before. I'd imagined it, sure, but now that it was in front of me, I couldn't look. Not like this. And I think she knew that; that's why she didn't care.

Downstairs, I felt a shift. I knew they were here; I could smell them from a mile away. I didn't tell Ness. "What is that?" I pointed to the bandages over her neck. She frowned and shook her head, dismissing my question. Her hands were shaking too much to get her arms through the sleeves. I guided her into it, pushing the fabric over her head.

"They're here, aren't they?" She asked me, pulling a pair of jeans out of the bag.

I sighed. "Yes. But they're helping. And you don't have to talk to them, or even look at them. Okay?"

"Okay," she said, pulling herself off of the bed. I moved to help her, but she flinched away from my touch. And if that didn't kill me, the guilty downward tilt of her head did. I resisted the urge to ask her, _What the hell did he do to you?_

Instead, I apologized so she wouldn't. "I'm sorry, Ness. Can I help you?"

She sniffled and a tear ran down her cheek, but she nodded.

We got her in the jeans and a pair of boots, and she slung the bag over her shoulder. I shook my head. "Alice said leave it." She dropped it and I took her hand, "Ready?"

She took a deep breath. "Yeah."

I lead her into the hall as Edward was coming up the stairs. He looked flustered, but relief flooded his eyes when he saw her, living and breathing beside me. He met us halfway and pulled Nessie close. She stiffened, and her hand tightened around mine, but she didn't shrink away from him.

"Renesmee," he kissed her forehead, taking her face in his hands. "You're okay?" He demanded, and she nodded. He frowned, but looked up at me and jerked his head towards the door. "We have to go. Now."

He stayed on her other side the rest of the way down the stairs. To our right, a girl with olive-toned skin and dark brown hair let out an ear splitting shriek. I knew immediately that she was like Nessie; her heartbeat was the same. A member of the guard—Felix?—had her locked in his arms.

"Jennifer?" Nessie tried to see past Edward. "Are they hurting her?"

"Renesmee!" Jennifer shrieked.

Edward and I walked faster, pulling Nessie out the door. "Wait," She planted her heels into the earth the second we were outside. "Are they going to kill her?"

Edward gave me a sharp look.

"Oh my god," Nessie cried. Her knees gave out, but Edward and I held her upright. "They can't do that! She didn't do anything!"

"Sweetheart," Edward whispered, trying to get her attention. "Shhh. They aren't going to kill her."

She didn't believe him. She cried harder and jerked away from us, letting herself fall to the damp earth. Edward dropped to her side, and I sent him every mental signal I could to _not touch her_ but he didn't get it. His hand rested at the top of her back, which should have been okay, but it wasn't, because she wasn't.

She recoiled like he'd shocked her, and her sobbing became hysteric. It took him a second to recover. I watched him mentally put the pieces together, and he stood up stiffly, and took a step back from her, his hands tugging at his hair like he was trying to pull it out.

Carlisle appeared behind him, looking between Nessie and me and Edward and then back to Nessie, trying to figure it out. She rocked herself back and forth on the ground, and we stood there like a bunch of idiots for a good four seconds. I had never seen her in so much pain, and I didn't know what do to, or how to reach her.

And then Carlisle, clearly the brains of the operation, dashed to the car and grabbed a blanket that I didn't know we brought from the trunk. He carefully draped it over Renesmee's shoulders, and she didn't hesitate to pull it tightly around herself.

And then he knelt beside her and waited for her breathing to return to normal. "Renesmee?" He asked her gently, keeping his distance.

Like she did with me, it took her a second of studying his face before recognition crossed hers and she wrapped her arms around in a hug. "Granddad," she begged. "They didn't do anything wrong. They didn't know."

"I know, sweetheart." He ran a hand through her hair. "They're okay right now, I promise you." I wondered how he knew how to do that. How to talk to her so she understood every word even with the other things going on in her head. "We have to go," He told her, and she nodded.

"Is Jacob okay?" He asked her, and she nodded again. And then he waved me forward. I knelt down and touched her shoulder first, and when that was fine, I helped her all the way up. Carlisle nudged Edward, and we made our way to the Jeep.

Edward got in the driver's seat this time, while Carlisle opened the left side back door for Ness and I went around the other way. She gripped his hand as she stepped in, and he handed her the seat belt before he closed the door.

Her hand was too shaky to insert the metal prong into the plug. I placed mine over hers and guided it in. She took a shaky breath, and Edward started the car.

I settled in beside her, but we didn't touch. We both knew the questions and concerns and demands were coming soon, but there was this one moment of transitional peace, and it was nice.

There was a newfound ease in stomach and my brain, because I had her here, right next to me. But things were far from perfect, and somehow the anxiety was worse than it had been when we were 6,000 miles apart.

Because before, it was a mystery. Now, I knew.

Like it or not, I knew.

The peace would be over any second now, we both knew, so as if in preparation, she reached over and laced her fingers through mine.

I didn't look at her, but she still probably knew I was grinning like an idiot.

* * *

 **Yup. It's 2 a.m. Heeeerrreee ya go!**

 **Please tell me your thoughts and thank you all for the support!**

 **xoxo,**

 **Vanessa**


	15. Chapter 15: Airplanes are the Worst

_Chapter 15- Jacob: five hours later_

The sun was setting; Renesmee watched it through the window of the plane. It was just the two of us, on the same private plane that brought us here. Nessie normally would have thrown a fit at this extravagance and demanded we get put on some crappy airline like the rest of the world, but this time, she didn't bat an eye. After all of this, even I couldn't stomach the idea of checking our luggage, and TSA lines and waiting for a flight. I could tell she was grateful for the luxury, even though she hadn't commented on it.

She was quiet when we found her, but she has not uttered a single word since she found out that Joham was still out there. I thought that maybe she was afraid, that would be natural, but all I felt from her was something between despondency and anger.

We didn't tell her about Joham. We didn't have to. She felt the urgency and uneasiness that came from us and our desire to get her out of there, and she put the pieces together herself.

We did bring her to the Denali's, but not for as long as would have been ideal. When the rest of the Cullen's learned that Joham had escaped, almost all of them left immediately to go back to help the Volturi, and it was made obvious that Renesmee couldn't stay. Bella pushed it the most, arguing with Edward that we had to take Nessie home to Washington.

"No, Bella." Edward had said firmly. "She can't be home. She can't be anywhere that he's been. And she can't be with you and I."

Bella stopped her pacing and looked at him sharply. "What do you mean?"

"Joham would know that we wouldn't be willing to let her out of our sight. He will expect her to be wherever we are."

Bella huffed, frustrated. "Then we have to send her with Jacob." She said this like she was sure it would make Edward change his mind about the whole thing. But he had just looked at me, and put on a very good contemplating face, pretending that we hadn't already been planning on me going with her.

"Seriously?" Bella hissed, looking back and fourth at us. She rolled her eyes. "Okay." She shrugged and turned on her heel and headed back to Renesmee. "But you know where they have to go, Edward."

I had just looked at him. "Where?"

And now, here we were. On our way to the infamous Isle Esme.

I didn't know what that was three hours ago, but apparently we would land in Rio, and then we had to get a boat and somehow locate this floating representation of Carlisle's love for Esme. Should be a piece of cake.

Renesmee, on the other hand, was more difficult. I mean, she's been completely compliant. The resistance that I keep waiting for hasn't surfaced. And once we got to the house, things happened so quickly that even Mentally Stable Nessie would have been overwhelmed. But she didn't even blink. She handled Bella and Rosalie just fine, letting them hug her and kiss her face and ask her over and over if she was okay. Carlisle cleaned the bite on her neck and replaced the bandages, and she let him. He used a blue liquid that smelled like rubbing alcohol, and I knew it was painful, because she didn't let him numb it first. No needles. She didn't care how bad it was going to hurt; she would not let that syringe anywhere near her. And I remembered then, what we found in the forest the day after she disappeared, and I knew Carlisle did too, because he didn't push her on it. She did take the small white pill he offered her, and her death grip on my hand loosened as it took effect. She tolerated Rosalie changing her clothes and washing her hair. On first glance, she seemed fine.

But the hard part was the things Ness wouldn't talk about yet, some questions she wouldn't answer. There were things I was dying to know, but asking now would get me nowhere. Edward said it would take a few days tops to find and kill Joham, and then we'd all be home again, and whatever Ness was going through would be addressed more thoroughly, but I wanted to know _now._

I studied the silhouette of her face against the orange glow of the sunset. Two weeks ago, I would have traced the soft edge of her jaw with my lips, and up to the valley of her cheeks, and her nose that she hated even though it was adorable and perfect just like the rest of her. She didn't notice my staring. She was somewhere else entirely. I would have given anything to see inside of her head for just a second, just so I could begin to understand.

I looked at the mass of white bandages stuck to the side of her pale neck. I knew what was under them; I didn't have to see to know. And to know that was just the tip of the iceberg, that he had hurt her so much more than that… It made me furious, but I swallowed the rage. My stomach was one giant mass of anger at this point, and it would as long as that psycho was still in existence.

The plane's engine started, and startled Nessie back to earth. I don't know if it was just out of instinct, but she grabbed my hand, still looking out the window. "Airplanes are the worst." She groaned.

I could have laughed, because only Renesmee would not speak for three hours and then break her silence with that sentence. "I forgot how much you hated them."

"Does anybody _like_ them?"

"Not since _Snakes on a Plane_ came out."

She laughed. A real Nessie laugh, complete with a little scrunch of her nose. It was a stupid joke, but I laughed too, because I didn't think I'd hear that sound again so soon. But her smile faded as quickly as it appeared.

She was quiet as the plane climbed up into the sky. When we leveled out and the seatbelt light turned off, she said my name.

"Yeah?" I asked, rubbing her hand with my thumb.

"How long has… how long have I been gone?"

"Sixteen days." I didn't hesitate.

She nodded. "It felt like longer."

"It felt like years." I agreed.

She was quiet for a long time. She leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. Under a light blue knit sweater, her chest rose and fell with the deep breaths she was forcing herself to take. I looked at her fingers, pale and slender, intertwined with mine. Deep purple bruises peeked out from under her sleeve, encircling her wrist like an amethyst bracelet.

I hadn't realized she'd caught me looking until she untangled her hand from mine and folded it into her lap with the other one, yanking down both sleeves of her sweater.

So the other wrist matched, then.

"Ness—"

"It's fine, Jake." She murmured, looking down.

I struggled for a calm response. I end up saying nothing, because I couldn't find one, and I promised myself I wouldn't push her. Don't push her. Don't push her. Shit, I still have to call Seth.

"Remind me to call Seth when we land," I said, hoping to introduce some sense of normality into the conversation. "He made me swear I'd call him when we got you."

She wasn't facing me, but I saw a tear roll down her cheek. Shit, shit, shit. What did I say?

"Ness. Honey, look at me."

She did, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand.

I searched her eyes, trying to convince myself that they still looked the same, even though they didn't. There was something there now that I couldn't place—something dark and lost that I could remember seeing in Edward about 8 years ago. "Renesmee," I didn't touch her, even though I wanted to. I wanted to promise her that she was safe now, and that I wouldn't let anything happen to her, ever again, but that wouldn't get me anywhere. I'd already broken that promise.

She blinked at me, waiting.

There was so much to tell her, so much I needed her to know. But there was too much for right now that I couldn't make her understand yet, so I settled for, "I missed you."

It only took three seconds for her to crumble in front of me. At first I thought I'd really done it now, but then she unbuckled her seatbelt and threw her arms around me. I hesitated, but when she didn't loosen her grip, I let my arms fall around her and I pulled her to me. We both fit easily in one of the plush leather seats.

"I'm sorry," She sniffled into my shoulder. "I went outside by myself that night. I—I should've woken you up, Jake. I knew I should have, but I didn't, and I'm so sorry."

"No, honey." I rubbed her back in big circles. "It's over. It's not your fault. We're here now, and it's all over. It's over. It's all okay."

She took a shuddery breath and relaxed against me. I kept waiting for more; for her to start crying again or to pull away, but she did neither. We sat like that together in silence the rest of the flight. Even when the pilot told us to put our seatbelts on for landing, we didn't budge.

* * *

 _Renesmee_

It hurt. God, it hurt.

But I couldn't tell you _what_ hurt.

Everything. Nothing.

Me. Jacob. Touching him, looking at him. Breathing in his scent burned the inside of my nose. I hurt when his skin made contact with mine. It was unbearable, but that might've been because I missed it so much.

He looked like hell. Not that I expected I looked much better, but it was hard to see him like that. It made me feel even guiltier than I already did.

I thought that I probably should've kissed him or something by now, but I couldn't. And I don't think he expected me to, but _I_ had expected me to.

My skin craved his so much that I ached; but I couldn't let him touch me. It was backwards—I was backwards. When I was stuck in that house, all I could think about was my family and Jacob and the pack and Forks and how badly I needed to get out. But now that I _was_ out, I could only think of those girls and the babies and the Volturi and Nahuel and Joham and _where the hell is he_ and _he's going to find me_ and I couldn't shut it off no matter how hard I tried.

And I _hated_ myself for that.

This was what I wanted.

Two days ago, I would have given anything to be sitting here next to Jacob. Now I was, but I couldn't tell him all of the things I needed to because I was afraid that if I opened my mouth all of the ugly dark things that I didn't want him to see would come spilling out.

And he was so good, and so patient, and I was so selfish for being in so much pain.

And then there was my family. They were also too good for me. I didn't want them out there, hunting down Joham, for me. Let alone with the _Volturi_! I thought we'd all go home, and be happy, and be a family and not have to worry about anything else.

And the other hybrids were going to die because of me. I made Dad promise he'd try to protect them, but it was fruitless. The Volturi came to burn down the whole show, not just the ringleader.

Everything was crumbling around me. And I tried to tell Jacob how sorry I was for this, but I ended up apologizing for something different, when I wanted to say, "I did this, Jacob. I created _all of this_ for myself. And I made it everyone else's problem, and I can see what I'm doing to them, and what I'm doing to you, and I feel so guilty and I'm so afraid of what's going to happen."

But the funny thing is that even if I had said exactly that, he would still be holding me, and rubbing my back, and assuring me that we were okay. Because that was Jacob. That's what he did. And I loved him so much for it.

At least now I was away from my dad; I could think. When he was there, I had to cut off every thought before it revealed too much. There was _so_ much to hide. I would tell Jacob enough. Not everything. There were things that I'd already decided would never leave my head.

I promised myself that no one would know what happened. I knew what they thought Joham did, and that they would kill him for it.

He deserved that, but it wasn't true. They were wrong.

And I wasn't going to correct them.

* * *

 **Hey guys sorry this is so short! More to come soon!**

 **Let me know what you think, I struggled a lot to get this chapter written, and thank you so much to those that supported me and gave me advice!**

 **xoxo,**

 **Vanessa**

 **EDIT:**

 **This chapter hasn't even been up for six hours and I'm already blown away with the messages I've been getting. Thank you all so much.**

 **I know this sounds melodramatic, but _guys,_ I stressed soooo much over this chapter. I originally wrote it _completely_ differently. I had worked on it almost everyday for two weeks and was 7000 words in before I decided it just wasn't right. I was totally stuck. **

**So, I deleted all of it. Two days later and I had this much shorter chapter finished, that I still wasn't thrilled with, but I basically posted it purely out of frustration.**

 **Two hours ago I was totally ready to take this chapter down and start it over AGAIN, but then I got some really amazing feedback from you guys and I'm now happier with it and have stopped obsessing over little things that don't matter at all.**

 **So thanks again! I love you all!**


	16. Chapter 16: Isle Esme

_Chapter 16- Jacob_

"Well," I dropped our bags in the doorway, "here we are."

Renesmee stepped around them and looked around the house, if you could call it that. I didn't even know the right word for this place. I'd expected nothing less from Esme, of course. The lush, green island was small, which only made the house look all the more extravagant.

And I knew immediately why Bella insisted we come here. Everywhere you looked, there were little resemblances of the Cullen's house in Forks. I couldn't quite be sure what made this place look and feel so familiar. Maybe it was the wall colors, or the setup of the living room, or the large windows that dominated every wall.

Or, it could have been Nessie, standing in the middle of it.

We were very close to the ocean; every window seemed to give us a view of the beach, and large French doors off of the living room stepped right out onto it.

"What do you think?" I asked, walking into the large, sleek-looking kitchen. Nessie followed, flipping on light switches like it was a race.

Once the place was properly lit up, she looked around at the walls and ceiling and the huge windows, and she smiled slightly. "I like it." She rested her hands on the dark granite countertop. "It feels good. Familiar."

She grabbed my hand and started down the hallway. "What time is it here?"

I checked the time on my phone, which also reminded me to call Edward again to tell him we made it. "We lost an hour or two along the way," I told her. "It's almost 2 a.m."

She nodded, but I could tell she wasn't really paying attention. She walked slowly, glancing behind us every few seconds. Her shoulders were tense, and her grip on my hand was even tighter.

We quickly discovered the two bedrooms, down the hall from each other, one with two blue walls and a darker blue bed spread, and tall glass doors that opened to a deck. The other room had beige walls and a large, crisp white bed.

They were big rooms, but the bathroom must have been bigger than either of them. The floor was all white marble, and so were the two sinks and giant bathtub. The shower was literally as big as my childhood bedroom, made of stone and tall panes of glass.

"I need to sleep," Nessie leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom, her eyes closed. "But first, I need a shower."

"Okay," I nodded, squeezing her hand. "You take a shower, I need to call your dad."

I kissed the top of her head, but when I went to pull away, she clung onto my arm. "Wait," She said. "Where are you going to be?"

If she didn't look so terrified, I could have laughed. Did she really think I was willing to go farther than a room away from her? "Ness," I brushed a piece of copper hair behind her ear. She looked too exhausted for anything other than a concrete response. "I'm going to bring our bags to the rooms, and then I'm going to call Edward while I unpack. If you need anything at all, just say the word, and I'm here. Okay?"

She released my shirt from her fingers and nodded. "Okay."

When she turned to the mirror and started undoing the braid in her hair, I left the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. In the same instant, she yanked it back open.

"I, um—Can I… Can I leave this open?" She asked, unsure. "Just a little bit?"

"Oh. Yeah. Of course," I told her, a little surprised. Not at her request, but at the uncertainty in the question. Embarrassment, even. I could count the number of times I'd seen Nessie embarrassed about anything on one hand.

She forced a small smile and left the door open four or five inches before I heard her start the shower. I grabbed our bags from where I abandoned them earlier. There were four in total; I had no idea what was in three of them. Clothes, toiletries, the basics, I'm sure, but Alice had taken care of all of it, so who could know?

She had labeled them with little gold tags that read: _Nessie, Jacob,_ and _Misc._ And then there was a backpack, but that was just all of the travel stuff we'd needed, along with an insane amount of cash and a couple of credit cards.

I put Nessie's bag on a loveseat in the white room and dumped mine in the blue one. I'm not sure why; the white room just seemed more like her. I hauled the mystery bag onto my bed and pulled out my phone.

Edward had, as promised, talked us through everything after we landed. Getting Nessie here was pretty horrible regardless. It only took an hour or so, but I was 99% sure she was on the verge of a panic attack the entire time, so I couldn't seem too eager about the fact that she was holding my arm. He helped us get a car, and then the boat, and told me how to locate the island. But he had to go before we actually found it, so we agreed I'd call once we were settled.

I wandered back into the hall as the phone rang. I didn't mean to look into the bathroom. It just happened. The door was open, after all.

She didn't see me, but I saw her reflection in the oversized mirror. It was just the back of her, as she stood in the shower.

I didn't realize right away what I was looking at, but when I did, I almost threw the phone in my hand through the wall.

Bruises, some a deep purple and some yellowing, made a watercolor of her flesh.

The most noticeable ones were such a bright purple they looked blood red under the bright bathroom lights. I could make out the vague shape of handprints that stained the small of her back.

Small, circular bruises were scattered around her hips, up her spine, and in the concaves of each rib. Fingertips.

By this time I was shaking violently. I couldn't pull my eyes away, although I knew I should. She was nearly invisible with all of the steam accumulating, and I wondered briefly how hot the water was.

He was going to die for this. A long, painful death. _I_ needed to do it. I needed to feel his granite skin in my teeth and I would take one finger at a time from his disgusting hands. So help me god I would make him pay for each and every bruise on her perfect— "Jacob," Edward answered the phone, yanking me out of my rage.

"Oh. Uh, hey." I forced myself to turn away from the bathroom and walk back into the blue room.

"You made it, I assume," Edward said, in a hurried tone. "How is she?"

"Have you seen all of those bruises?"

He paused. "Carlisle did, yes."

"How—What did—" I struggled for the words to ask for details without asking for them.

Edward sighed impatiently. "She wouldn't get into it. At least not with him. Or with Rosalie, or Bella."

"You think she would with me?"

"I think you have a better chance than anyone else. Where is she?"

"Shower. She's okay, just exhausted, I think."

"The antibiotics are in the 'miscellaneous' bag. She has to take two every day."

"I remember," I muttered, unzipping the bag to reveal enough medical supplies to sustain a small hospital for a week. Jesus. Nessie was clumsy, sure. But this seemed excessive.

"After she gets some rest, get her to eat something. She wouldn't earlier."

"I'll see what I can do."

"Oh, and tell her," He sounded like he was running now, "that Joham's daughters are all alive and well at the moment."

"Okay. Are they really?" I found this hard to believe.

"Yes, though they're alone with Jane. Don't tell Nessie about that. Nahuel is with us, helping look for Joham."

I heard the shower turn off, and I dropped my voice to a whisper. "Are you close?"

"We've located his trail. Now that he's away from the hybrids, Alice can see him. But his decisions are sporadic. He's changing his mind too quickly for us to catch up. But in another day or so, we'll have a definite idea of where he is."

"And then the Volturi will kill him," I assumed.

"Not if I can get to him first." Edward said darkly. I closed my eyes and saw all of those bruises again, and I knew then that in all of these years, I had never _ever_ been more jealous of Edward than I was right then.

"Edward," I said through clenched teeth. "Make it hurt."

"I intend to." I could hear the smirk in his response. "Call if you need anything; we'll be in touch."

"I will."

"Oh, and Jacob? Thank you for being there with her."

"I couldn't be anywhere else, Edward."

* * *

 _Renesmee_

Isle Esme.

Every bit as elegant and picturesque as I'd expected.

It wasn't quite home, but it could have been. It was the same dark grey color on the walls, around the same style of huge, overpowering windows. I could see my family sitting in this living room. It felt like it should be safe. And even more so with Jacob there. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched. Stalked by something in the dark corners.

And I think Jake forgot that my vision was the most human part about me, that I couldn't see in the dark like he could, or even _at all,_ because he looked at me like I was crazy when I started flipping on every light switch in sight.

The inside of the house was cooler than the warm tropical air outside, and Jacob's warm hand against mine felt nice as we ventured through the house. I was proud of myself for holding his hand, as ridiculous as that was. I had clung to his side from the moment we got off the plane, so I had unconsciously gotten over any aversions I had to touching him, but this was different. This was sweet and innocent in a way that I didn't even realize I needed.

The exhaustion didn't hit me full force until I saw the huge white bed. I suddenly realized how heavy my limbs felt, and how hard it was to keep my eyes open.

But I couldn't remember the last time I'd taken a real shower, so that definitely had to happen first. Jacob nodded when I told him this and kissed my forehead. Then he shut the bathroom door, and this was fine was a tenth of a second. It was just an inch and a half of wood separating us, but it sent a pang of panic through me. I pulled it open, and Jacob was looking back at me.

"I, um—" I suddenly felt stupid. I'd already made him tell me exactly where he was going to be. "Can I…" I hesitated, trying to seem as causal as possible about it. "Can I leave this open?"

"Oh." He seemed surprised. Great. I was freaking him out. But he recovered quickly. "Yeah. Of course."

I smiled to add to the nonchalance I was trying to create. He didn't buy it.

He left me hesitantly, walking back to the front to get the bags Alice packed for us. I reached into the huge shower and turned the long silver handle as far as it would go in the "hot" direction. I avoided the mirror as I stripped my clothes and undid my French braid.

The water was as hot as I could stand it, but that still somehow wasn't hot enough. I let it run down my body, turning my flesh pink, pink, pink until I couldn't see all the bruises when I looked down.

I found a new bar of soap and scrubbed every inch of my skin until the water ran cold, but I didn't feel any cleaner. I was definitely more exhausted, though.

When I turned the water off, I could hear Jacob's murmuring on the phone. I didn't even have the energy to eavesdrop. I found a fluffy white towel under the sink and tied it around my chest, and tried to muster up the energy to brush my hair.

I couldn't do it. Instead, I pulled the towel tightly around me and sat on the bathmat, my back against the shower door. My skin was still hot from the shower, but I shivered nonetheless.

I was too mentally drained to function, but my mind wouldn't stop racing.

I wanted my mom. And my dad.

I wanted to be able to kiss Jacob, and for him to look at me with that smile that I loved more than anything in the world. I wanted Rosalie to brush my hair and promise me nothing bad would ever touch me, ever again. Even if it wasn't true, I would let her tell me as many times as she needed.

I wanted everyone I loved to be under one roof, and I would apologize to them, and tell them that I never meant for any of this to happen. I might even tell them the truth. I would in a heartbeat, if it would fix anything.

But nothing can fix this.

The bite on my neck throbbed painfully, as it always did, and I heard Jacob's feet in the hallway. "Okay, Edward." He was saying. "Yeah. I've got it." I heard my dad say he'd call again in the morning, and then he hung up.

"Ness?" Jake stopped in the doorway, and looked down at me. He looked at weary as I felt. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Just tired."

His brows furrowed together in concern as he took a step towards me. "You're crying."

"No, I'm not." I blinked away tears that I didn't realize were threatening to fall. And he looked so worried that I had to force myself up off the ground. I walked down the hall and he followed, pointing me into the room with big white bed.

I went straight to the suitcase on the loveseat, and started rummaging around in it for anything that felt like soft cotton. Jacob hovered in the doorway, uneasy. "I need a shower too. Will you be—"

"Jake," I didn't let him finish. "I can keep it together for ten minutes."

He raised his eyebrows. "I wasn't doubting that."

"Sure you weren't." I waved my hand at him. "Go. I'm fine. I promise."

"Okay," he hesitated. "You'll yell if you need me?"

" _Yes,_ Jacob. I'll _scream_."

"Okay." He smirked and turned away.

By the time I heard the water turn on, I still had yet to locate anything along the lines of sweats and a t-shirt in this giant bag. It was all I could do to find a pair of panties with minimal lace.

So I shed the towel and walked down the hall to the other room, where I found Jake's suitcase on the bed. Sure enough, the very first thing I saw in there was a plain white v-neck. It was thin cotton and came to the middle of my thigh.

I tiptoed back to the other bedroom, taking Jacob's suitcase with me. I don't know why he was under the impression that we would be inhabiting separate bedrooms.

I crawled into bed, planning on staying awake until Jacob was done, but I could barely keep my eyes open. I don't know how long I had been asleep for when there was a _thud_ at one of the windows across the room. I shot up in bed, my eyes suddenly wide.

I scanned every window, but the lights from inside made it impossible to see out. My heart pounded in my chest. Jacob was still in the shower.

I threw back the covers and reached over to turn off the lamp. I squinted into the darkness from the bed, and I realized that the two largest windows were actually French doors. I hopped off the bed and ran to them, turning the little nobs and jiggling the handles until I was sure they were locked.

And then I wanted to kick myself, because a locked door could barely stop a _human._ And then I started thinking, Okay, am I _sure_ that sound happened outside of my head? Did I just imagine it?

I sighed and was walking back to the bed when it happened again. 100% _not_ in my head.

I ran back to the doors, unlocked them, and yanked them open. I was met only with a soft, warm breeze that blew the sheer curtains towards me. I peered out past the deck and onto the beach, where calm waves lapped at the shore.

"What are you doing?" Jacob's voice made me jump. I hadn't even heard him turn the shower off. He stood in the doorway, in a pair of sweats with a towel around his neck. He looked at me like I was insane.

"I was—I just—" I stammered. I put my hands against my chest, willing my heart to slow down. "I heard a noise."

"You heard a noise?" Jacob repeated. "What kind of noise?"

"I don't know." I threw my hands in the air. "Just a noise outside. It happened twice."

"And you got scared and decided to investigate?" He was frustrated, but tried hard not to show it.

I shook my head and turned back to close the doors. "I don't know. I was… it was just impulsive. I'm sorry."

His face softened. "If there was anything to worry about, we'd know. We would smell it long before it taps at the window." He crossed the space between us and tucked a strand of my tangled wet hair behind my ear. "Houses make sounds. It could be the pipes, or an animal,"

"Or a ghost."

He chuckled. "Do you want me to go check it out? Just in case?"

"No," I shook my head and put my hand on top of his. "It's okay. I want to go to bed."

"Is that shirt from my bag?" He asked, amused.

"No."

"No?"

"You can have it back in the morning."

He shook his head and pulled on a yellow shirt instead. I forgot how good he looked in yellow. "You look better in it, anyway."

I should have blushed. I always blushed when he said things like that. I buried my face in a pillow so he couldn't be disappointed when I didn't.

I heard him throw his towel into the wicker basket hamper in the corner. "I'll be right back," he said. I propped my head up on my hands and listened to his feet walk down the hall.

He came back with an armful of pillows and blankets. He threw them onto the floor, a few feet away from the bed.

"What are you doing?" I frowned.

"I'm not going to sleep on the _bare_ floor." He said, as though this was obvious.

I sat up. "Why are you sleeping on the floor at all?"

"I figured that you moving my suitcase into here meant that you wanted me to sleep in here with you."

"Of course I do. But not _on the floor,_ Jacob. That's ridiculous."

He hesitated. "Ness… I don't know."

"What is there not to know?" I closed my eyes. It was way too late for this. "We've slept in the same bed, Jake."

"That was before." He argued.

I looked at him, my eyebrows raised. "Before _what_?" I challenged.

It was dead silent for a good ten seconds. He looked at the ground. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

I reached over and threw back the sheets on the other side of the bed. "Jake," I whispered when he didn't immediately move. His dark, dark eyes met mine. "Please."

He nodded once. He stepped into the hall to turn off all the lights I'd switched on, and then he climbed into bed next to me. I reached for his hand and squeezed it. Were were quite, and I almost let us be. We could have fallen asleep like that. But it was bubbling up in my chest and I had to let it out.

"Jake?"

"Yeah, Ness?"

"Why doesn't this feel the same?"

He took a deep breath. I bit my lip, ignoring the tears forming in the corners of my eyes. He was quiet for so long I thought he wasn't going to answer, but he did.

"Well. Do _you_ feel the same?"

I thought about this for a second. "No."

"That's why, baby."

A tear escaped despite my best efforts. I rolled over so my head rested on Jacob's chest. His arm came around me, holding me into the place I fit best in the world. I listened to his heartbeat, and I tried to match his steady breathing to mine. My tears were staining his shirt.

"I _love_ you." I told him, desperately.

He kissed my forehead. "I know."

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Hey** **guys, here's another chapter! What? Already? I know, I know. I really had my shit together this week.**

 **But for real, it's all of your reviews and feedback that motivate me to write, so keep 'em coming!**

 **Thanks so much to each and every one of you for being so amazing and supportive. Even my ghost readers!**

 **See you guys soon with another update, sorry nothing really happens in this chapter, more excitement to come!**

 **xoxo,**

 **vanessa**


	17. Chapter 17: The Wall

_Chapter 17- Renesmee_

The next morning, I woke up with a gasp, from a dream I immediately pushed as far back into my mind as I could. Jake was still asleep. The sheets were balled up at the foot of the bed where we had apparently kicked them away. His arm was around me so tightly that I would've thought he had to be conscious if his snoring wasn't so loud.

I looked past his shoulder at the clock on the wall. Almost one in the afternoon. The room felt hot and sticky. I eased my way out from under Jacob's grip of steel as slowly as I could, and then I tiptoed across the room and cracked open two of the large windows. A cool breeze blew through the shades, and I sat there and let it cool down my body and my mind.

I don't know how long I sat there before the phone rang, making me jump. Jacob was up like a rocket and glanced around wildly for a second when he realized I wasn't beside him. His gaze settled on me, on the windowsill, and his shoulders sunk a little with relief. But the phone was still ringing, so I pointed to the nightstand where he'd left it.

"Yeah?" He answered, his voice groggy in this kind of sexy way. He ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah. We just woke up." A pause. I listened, but could only identify that it was my father on the line, and that he was asking questions in that demanding way he does. Jacob looked at me as he answered. "Yes, Edward. I will…Okay…Alright…Goodbye."

He hung up and smiled at me. "Good morning."

"Good morning." I raised my eyebrows. "What did he say?"

"Just checking in. No good news, but no bad news."

"That's it?"

"That, and he's reminding me that we need to eat something." He walked over to me and extended his hand. "Come on, let's see what we can scrounge up."

The fridge in the kitchen was big. We opened it up and just stared.

"Holy shit." I mumbled. It was stocked full fruits and vegetables and yogurts and juices and everything you could possibly think of. Jacob opened the pantry, and it too was full of more food then we could possibly need. How on earth did they get all of this here on such short notice?

"Hey Ness," Jake waved me over to the fridge, and pulled out a drawer. It had three bags of blood in it. Donated, human blood. I couldn't breathe for a second. I was so thirsty I stopped being thirsty.

"How…?" Was all I could choke out.

Jacob shrugged, as wide eyed as I was. He breathed a laugh. "I have no idea."

It took all of the willpower left in me to not tear open one of those bags with my teeth right that very second. Instead, I found a glass to pour it into, like a civil half-breed.

"You want that now?" Jacob asked, taking out a carton of eggs for himself.

"You have no idea." I told him.

I poured my breakfast into a glass while he made his on the stove, and then we sat at the large dining room table. I opened the French doors so all of the afternoon light and fresh air could come in.

I took a long sip of the blood. It tasted better than anything had ever tasted before. It was rich and perfect and coated my throat on the way down, both satisfying and reigniting the burning. I forced myself to sip slowly.

Jacob watched me warily as he took a gulp of black coffee.

"So," He said as he started into his plate of eggs. "Are we not going to talk about last night?"

I put my glass down. "What do you mean?"

"Last night, Ness. The nightmares?"

Yeah, I had bad dreams. But he shouldn't have known that. How did he know that? I must've looked confused, because he asked, "You don't remember?"

"No."

He sighed and took a long sip of coffee. "I was trying to wake you up around five. You were crying."

I froze mid-sip. "In my sleep?"

He nodded seriously. "But you wouldn't wake up. You wouldn't let me touch you; you screamed when I did." He paused. I stayed silent. "You were okay after a while."

If I was asleep he could have grabbed my hand and watched my dream. He could have easily seen…everything. I could feel my pulse quicken and my eyes widen. "Did you…?" I whispered.

His brows furrowed together in confusion. "Did I…?" He repeated. And then realization spread across his whole face and he looked almost offended. "No! Of course not." He reached for my hand now and I pulled it away. His face softened. "No, Renesmee. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't invade your privacy like that."

I breathed a sigh of relief. If he had done that he would have seen… _everything._ Those were images he was never going to see if I could help it.

"Thank you." I said to him, picking up my glass again.

He just nodded. We finished breakfast in silence. Not uncomfortable, but not tension-free, either. When I emptied my cup I stared at it; the way the blood coated the inside of the glass and the sunlight shone through it was almost mesmerizing. Jake saw me and asked if I wanted more. My throat still burned, but I shook my head. It was subdued enough, and it had been so long since I'd hunted or eaten that all of the blood in the fridge wouldn't completely extinguish the fire in the back of my throat anyway.

When Jacob finished he cleared our dishes, and when I got up to help he shook his head. "I've got it."

I took this opportunity to wipe the blood from the corners of my mouth and run my fingers through my hair in attempt to tame it a little. Because I knew that Jake was going to come back with something to say. I could see it tumbling around in his head when he left.

Sure enough, he came back and sat across from me instead of beside me. I braced myself.

"Ness," he started, holding my gaze. "I know you don't want to, but I think you really need to talk about it."

"About what?" I said, looking at the table. Yes, I knew how petty this was. But I also knew that I'd been working very hard at shoving certain memories away, and I wasn't going to lay them all out on the table now.

He sighed. "About what happened to you. Whatever Joham did. We need to talk about it."

I was surprised by his bluntness. I rewarded that with some honestly.

"Jake," I looked up at him. "I'm not ready."

He searched my eyes, like the answer was in them. When he reached across the table for my hands, I let him.

"Ness," he said solemnly. "This is going to eat you alive if you don't get it out."

I breathed a laugh even though it wasn't funny. He had no idea. It's already chewed me up and swallowed me whole.

He watched me intently, but I said nothing. After a minute of staring at me, he gave up. He got up and left, going into one of the bedrooms. I stayed there, counting the lines in the wood table. His question was bringing the memories back, I could feel the wave of feelings lap against The Wall of Numbness and Suppression, as I liked to call it. I reinforced it with a layer of Indifference.

When he came back he laid two blue pills and a glass of water in front of me.

"For your neck." Was all he said. I took them quickly. I noticed that he also found the design of the wood table very interesting. He stared at it with the same intensity he used to look at me with.

"I'm sorry." I told him. Because I was, and because I couldn't stand to see him look so disappointed knowing I was the cause.

He looked at me and forced a half-smile. "It's okay." He said, even though it wasn't. I stood up quickly and pulled him into a hug that I think took us both by surprise.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob." I said into his chest, and he held my head close to his heart and rested his chin on top of my hair. He swayed me a little bit, and said again that it was okay.

"I—You just—You can't ask me questions like that. Okay?"

He stopped swaying and looked at me. "Why not?" He already knew the answer.

I stepped away from his hold and walked to the nearest window. I couldn't look at him as I said it. "Because I want to forget everything, Jacob."

"What's 'everything'?" He pushed.

I tangled my fingers into my hair and pulled hard at the roots. "I want to forget myself and forget the world."

"Ness, neither of those things is going to just go away."

His tone wasn't harsh, but it was truthful, and it brought tears to my eyes. The wall was quavering. So were my legs. I fell to my knees and sat back on my heels, bringing my chest down to my thighs. I couldn't help the sobs that racked my chest. I tried to hold them in, because I was already in fetal position on the living room floor, and Jake would freak out at that alone.

But the crying came anyway, and I felt Jacob's hand run up and down my back, along my spine. "I didn't know," I chocked out through the sobs.

"You didn't know what, baby?" Jacob's voice sounded even more pained than mine.

"I didn't know that anything could hurt this much." The words came out before I could stop them; a little piece of The Wall chipped away.

He pulled me up from the floor and into his arms. He didn't try to console me, or calm me down. We sat there, limbs entangled, and he let me cry. He might've cried a little, too.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Hey guys, I am sorry on two accounts:**

 **1) That it's been like 3 weeks since I updated!**

 **2) That this chapter is so short and unexciting.**

 **But I know that I'll have another, MUCH longer and MUCH more exciting chapter coming up by next Thursday at** **latest. Deal? Deal.**

 **I've been going through a lot lately, and have been very unmotivated to write. You guys have been so amazing and supportive, so I'll share with you what's going on. If you care enough to even read the author's note, then you deserve to know.**

 **I've been diagnosed with an eating disorder. So the last couple of weeks have been a blur of doctor's appointments, therapy, and metal breakdowns. Thus the lack of writing being done.**

 **But I realized that writing for you guys is a positive way of coping for me so don't worry I'm not going anywhere!**

 **Thanks for sticking with me, and I love all of you.**

 **xoxo**

 **-Vanessa**


	18. Chapter 18: How?

_Chapter 18- Renesmee_

I can't breathe here.

And it's like Jacob keeps trying to show me how, begging me to, and he's so patient, and I am so selfish. I couldn't do any of the things he wants me to. I couldn't eat, or sleep, or tell him what's wrong, because I didn't know how to answer that question.

Because I knew he needed an answer that he can to fix, but the thing is that he couldn't fix it even if I did make him understand it, so what's the point? He can't fix this, he can't fix me.

I had my knees hugged to my chest as I sat on the floor by the window. The waves were so beautiful, and the sun felt so nice on my cold, bruised skin. But I missed the rain. I missed home. I missed Jacob, even though he was only ten feet away from me. There was like there was that fucking wall between us. Thin enough that I could see him clearly, and feel his warmth when we pressed our hands up against it. But too thick to hear his voice clearly, or for him to be able to read me as well as he once could.

He sat on the white leather couch, silent. Pressure bubbled up in my chest, and I was worried that if he didn't say something I would explode. I could feel his gaze on me, and I didn't want to return it. I couldn't stand the pain in is eyes. He was disappointed, I was sure.

It was our second morning here and I still hadn't given him the details he wanted. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't hurt him like that.

The house made me miss my family even more. There wasn't a single photo in the whole house, nothing to show that it belonged to my family. But as I fingered the cold silver of a lion-shaped statuette on the mantel, I felt the engraving of a symbol on its back. I knew what it was before I turned it over. The Cullen Crest. I instinctively touched the place on my neck where my locket was usually resting, even though I knew it wasn't there. The back of my locket had our family crest on it, too. My grandparents had it engraved for my first birthday. My last evening at home, I'd taken it off. I knew exactly where it was, because when it wasn't around my neck, it was always in the little glass dish on my vanity.

I stared at the lion, and my eyes filled with tears. What if something happened? If someone got hurt? I would never be able to forgive myself.

"Ness?" Jacob said from behind me, making me jump. I dropped the lion, but he caught it before it hit the ground. He studied it for a second, and then put it back in its place. "Ness," he said again, wiping the tear from my cheek. "They're going to be fine. We'll all be home soon, and it'll all be over, like it never even happened."

"You don't know that." I shook my head. "They don't know what he's like," I sobbed. "You have no idea what he's capable of." I didn't even think to specify who I was referring to. I hadn't stopped thinking about him. Apparently Jacob hadn't, either, because he didn't miss a beat.

"He's not going to hurt you." Jacob said solemnly. "He won't, ever again."

"Jake," I tried, turning away.

He touched his hand to my chin. "Ness, I swear—"

"Stop! You can't _do_ _that_!" I jerked away, regretting the words as they came out. "You _weren't there_ , Jacob! You have no idea what you're talking about!" The sharp sound of my voice seemed to take us both by surprise. My eyes stung with tears, blurring my view of his shocked and heartbroken face. I knew I was hurting him, and that I wasn't being fair, but I couldn't stop. "You said you would always be there, and you _weren't_! I needed you! And _you_. _Weren't_. _There_." I was on my knees on the hardwood, hugging myself tightly as sobs wracked by sore body. I hated what I knew I was doing to Jacob, but I felt so much better. Like my chest wasn't as tight, and I could breathe a little deeper.

My tears were making a puddle on the wood. I heard Jacob take a step towards me, and I snapped, "Can you just leave me alone?" When he didn't move, I tried to soften my voice. "Please, Jacob." He turned and walked into one of the bedrooms, his feet heavier than I'd ever heard.

I needed to get myself under control. I was saying terrible things that I didn't mean. But once I let a little out, it sprung a leak that I couldn't contain. It was like trying to fix a burst pipe with a Band Aid. I couldn't stop crying, and it seemed like every time I thought I was done, all it took was a single thought to start it up again. And it wasn't cute crying, either. It was loud, uncontrollable sobs that were so intense they had me gasping for breath in between.

It was overwhelming, trying to decode the feelings behind each tear. There was sadness, and guilt, and confusion. And there was fear. But the scariest feeling, for me, was the anger.

I'd never really had to deal with anger before. And god, was I angry. But it took me 78 deep breaths to really understand that none of that was actually directed at Jacob. I was just so full of rage, and it needed to come out somewhere.

But now that it was out, all I was left with was myself. With swollen eyes and no tears left to cry, exhausted and alone in the middle of the living room floor. I took one last deep breath to summon the energy to pull myself up from the floor.

Now I just had to talk to Jacob. I felt awful. I just hoped he wasn't too upset with me, even though I definitely deserved it.

I passed through the kitchen, our breakfast forgotten on the stove. The house was eerily silent, and I was conscious of every step my bare feet took. When I peeked into the bedroom, I saw that the tall French doors were wide open, a warm breeze coming through them. From under the doorframe, I saw Jacob. He was sitting in the sand with his back to me, looking out onto the blue, blue water.

I slipped out of my sweats and into a pair of shorts, and I traded Jacob's t-shirt for a lavender-colored tank top I found in my suitcase. I walked out into the warm sand, more and more tentative as I got closer and he didn't turn around. Wordlessly, I sat down next to him. His gaze was fixed on the ocean, the way the sun made it sparkle was mesmerizing. But I could tell by the crease between his eyebrows that it didn't hold very much of his attention.

Wordlessly, I sat next to him, my legs folded under me. I looked out onto the water. The soft wind blew my hair back, and I brushed off the few strands that stuck to my cheeks, still damp from the tears. "I'm sorry," I said, glancing at Jacob. "I'm really sorry, Jake… For everything I said. I—I didn't mean any of that. I had no right to throw that in your face. Please, just know that I didn't mean it."

He looked at me, and I saw that his eyes were a little red around the rims. "I know." He gave me a half-hearted smile. "But it's not as if you were wrong," he added.

I touched his arm. "Don't say that. I was wrong. I was so wrong, and so out of line, and none of what I said reflects what I truly believe." I shifted so I was in front of him and he had to look at me. "I know that you did everything you could, and that was _more_ than enough. You are so good, and so kind, and I'm so lucky that you were willing to fight for me the way that you did,"

His eyes shone in the sunlight and he smiled at me. "I'm sorry about all of the promises I keep making. I can't help it. It's just that I can't protect you from what's already been done, and I feel terrible about that. And I just want you to know that I never meant to let anything happen to you. And knowing that something did… it just makes me feel so worthless."

"I know you didn't. And I know you won't. But I don't expect you to protect me from everything. I know you can't." Jacob looked like he was going to protest, but I kept talking. "And you can't guarantee me anything that has to do with Joham," I choked on the name, and Jacob tensed visibly.

He frowned, upset. "Because I don't know what happened?"

I didn't respond. I didn't want to think about it. I looked down at my lap, studying my nails.

"Ness," Jacob said, gentler. He used his finger on my chin to get me to look at him. "I decided that I think it's important for you to be the one to bring it up, on your own terms, when you're ready. It's killing me, not knowing, but I'm not going to force you to talk about it."

God, he was so good. So, so good. Too good. I had been wondering why he wasn't prying more, now I knew. I wanted to tell him everything. To spill my guts. I could imagine how great the relief would be afterward.

But I couldn't do that to him. It was my burden to carry, and I wasn't about to dump it on him for the sake of myself.

I didn't know how I should respond, but I saw his lips were right there in front of me, and I suddenly wanted to kiss them because they were perfect and soft and I missed them. But I ended up kissing his cheek instead, which still made him pretty happy. I just couldn't work up the courage to do it when I was so petrified that the same spark might not be there. It was like Jake had said last night, that this felt different, because I was different. And I couldn't handle anything else right now that would remind me that I wasn't the same.

I rested my head on Jacob's shoulder, but before I could get too comfortable, the phone rang. "You can stay here," Jacob said, jogging back towards the bedroom doors.

"Hey, Edward—" I heard him answer it, but his easy and relaxed tone was gone in a flash. "Whoa, whoa," he was now saying. "Wait, how?" his voice was urgent. "What the fuck does that mean?"

I hurried over to him. "What?" I asked, just as panicked as he was. My heart pounded in my ears too loudly to hear the other side of the phone call. I looked Jacob questioningly, and he held my gaze.

"Okay, okay." He sounded calmer now, maybe just for my benefit. "I'm on it. I will." He snapped the phone closed and reached for my hand to pull me inside.

"What is it?" I demanded.

"We have to get out of here," Jacob growled. "It's Joham. He knows where we are."

* * *

 **AN:**

 **I know this isn't long but I wanted to give you guys a lil something before the big climax, just to say thanks for being so patient. And I hope it all makes sense, I actually wrote this as a chapter 17, because I didn't know that I already had one! oops**

 **so i made some changes last minute, but if something doesn't look right, just let me know.**

 **Thanks for reading and sticking by me**

 **xoxo,**

 **V**


	19. Chapter 19: Rage

_Chapter 19- Renesmee_

"What do you mean?" I demanded, my pulse quickening. Jacob was already on the move, gathering our suitcases to repack them. "Jacob," I said his name urgently, grabbing his hand. "What are you talking about?" I already knew, but I needed to hear him say it.

He didn't look at me as he pulled our clothes from the closet and threw them towards the bags. "Alice can see where he's headed," he said slowly, stopping briefly to glance at me. "They'll be right behind him, but he's definitely on his way here."

"How?" I choked, tugging desperately on Jacob's arm. "I don't understand how he knew," I could feel my chest getting tighter and tighter as my eyes welled up. "How did he know?" I asked, hot tears falling down my cheeks. Why was I _so_ important to him? What about his daughters? Why couldn't he just focus on getting _them_ back?

"Hey, hey," Jacob sat me down on the bed with him, his warm hands on either side of my face. I resisted the urge to push him away. "It's okay," he wiped at my cheeks with his thumbs. "He's still at least a couple of days away, we're going to be fine."

"We were supposed to be safe here, Jake," I cried. "We aren't safe anywhere. We can't just keep running! He promised me he'd find me, wherever I went, and—"

"No," Jacob shook his head, furious. His hands were trembling. "Ness," he started to say, smoothing my hair back from my face. "We're going to be fine. We're going to get out of here, and—" The familiar sound of the cell phone came from Jacob's pocket, and my heart dropped into my stomach.

"Yeah?" Jacob answered, his eyes never leaving me. It was Carlisle on the other end. I caught the tail end of his sentence, and I heard the word that stood out to me was "home".

"Are we going home?" I demanded immediately, and Jacob held up a finger for me to wait.

"What? Why?" He asked, and he turned slightly away to keep me from hearing the next words my granddad spoke. "You're joking." Jacob hissed into the phone. I watched the muscles in his jaw tighten and his hands balled into fists. "No, not that I know of," He mumbled, looking me over like he was searching for something.

" _What_?" I mouthed anxiously, and he just shook his head at me. Then he turned away from me completely and whispered something into the phone so quietly that I had no hope of hearing. Frustration bubbled up inside of me.

"Okay," he sighed louder and turned back towards me, his features rigid. "Yeah. I've got it. See you soon." He hung up and I stared at him in anticipation. "We need to be at the airport in two hours," he sat beside me. "We're going home."

I would have been happy if he hadn't been so secretive on the phone. There had to be a lot more to it than that. "What did Carlisle tell you?" I asked. "How did he find us?"

Jacob didn't look at me, but he stiffened. "They told me I shouldn't tell you yet," He said, and before I could protest, he added, "But I'm going to, because you have more right to know than anyone else."

I was too anxious to be appreciative. I was silent for a beat, trying to imagine the worst possible scenario, but coming up with nothing. I felt like I'd already been through so much shit these past few weeks that nothing he said could surprise me.

His eyes softened when they met mine. "Ness," he said my name slowly, like if he dragged it out long enough then he wouldn't have to say the next sentence. He hesitated, and I raised my eyebrows. "He attached some kind of tracking device to you."

I blinked at him. "What?"

He shifted so he was facing me more. "Joham attached a—"

"I heard you. And no he didn't, " I laughed abruptly without humor. "I'm not even wearing any of the same clothes I had when I was there. I don't even have any bags from—"

"No, honey," Jacob interrupted me, and I winced at the word. I didn't deserve to hear that from him anymore. He hesitated, and I saw a flash of anger that he was trying to conceal. "They think it's more likely that he put something _inside_ of you," I must've looked confused, because he added, "Carlisle said it could be as simple as injecting it right under your skin, and that you might not even remember—"

I stood up, cutting him off. At first I shook my head in disbelief, because there was no way he did something like that without me _knowing_. And then came an overwhelming sense of disgust and anger, because _of course_ there was. How many times had he drugged me, in total? Four? Five? I had no idea what he could have put inside of me.

I felt a whole new sense of violation that I didn't know had existed. Jacob tried to put his hand on my shoulder as he spoke, but I shrugged him off, not hearing or caring about his words.

"What do we do?" My voice shook. With anger or fear, I wasn't sure. "I have no idea where he would have even…" I rubbed up and down my arms, pressing firmly against my skin, searching for something that felt like it didn't belong, even though I knew I wouldn't find anything.

"He's just going to follow us home," I said, my voice taking on a pitch I didn't like. "He'll—"

"Nessie," Jacob said seriously, this time not letting me shrug off his hand. "He won't touch you. He'll follow us there, yes. But we're going to let him, because Forks is where you'll be the safest. We'll have your family, the pack, not to mention the Denalis. We're going back today, and so is everyone else. He'll see where you are and he'll come, and we'll be ready."

I just nodded, because I didn't know how to explain to him why I was so against the idea of having Joham anywhere near Forks. It sounded silly, but Forks was my home, and him being there was like another aspect of my life being violated.

Jake studied my face for some kind of reaction, and I tried not to give him one. "Okay?" he asked warily.

"Okay," I agreed. And then, as promised, we were up on a plane within two hours.

* * *

 _Jacob_

I felt much better once we were in the air. I'd always hated flying, but at this point, the sky was probably the safest place for us.

I could count the words that Nessie had said in the last few hours on one hand. I had no idea how she was feeling, but I figured she was at least half as furious as I was.

She had the same intense set to her eyes that she'd always had, but her rosy lips were pressed together in what I could only think was worry.

And I needed then, more than ever, to know what was going on inside of her head. But I couldn't just look at her and be able to tell. That wasn't how this worked anymore. And every time I had this thought it hit me a little more just how soul crushing it was to not know. I'd been waiting for her to come to me, but what if she never did?

How many more times could I take this? I was standing next to the person I loved most, and I didn't have the slightest clue how she was thinking or feeling. It was like she was right there next to me, but she wasn't. She had been staring out the window for at least 30 minutes, her gaze unwavering. I watched her watch the sky and clouds below us, and I wished more than anything to go back. Back to when I could grab her face and kiss her lips and brush her hair back behind her ear. It was only weeks ago, but it felt like years.

Nessie felt me staring at met my gaze. She gave me a sad smile, because she knew.

And I was dumbfounded by the overwhelming sense of longing and despair that suddenly crushed into my chest like a bulldozer.

I loved this girl, more than anything. There was a time when I wasn't sure I'd ever see her again, ever be close enough to reach out and touch her. And here she was. All I'd ever wanted, just five feet away from me.

After all we'd been through, we should have been closer than ever.

So why did I still miss her? Why did I feel as vulnerable and desperate as when she was thousands of miles away?

I looked into her eyes, exhausted and distant, and the answer became clear.

She still was.

And I _hated_ that. I think she did, too. I hated the way she flinched when I touched her, and the paranoid way she's always glancing over her shoulder.

It made me so angry.

Not at her, at _him_. But if I had a dollar for every time I'd had that thought, I'd be as rich as the Cullens.

A part of me was glad we that we were leading him back to Forks. Back on our territory, the advantage was ours, Ness would have more protection, and as selfish as it was, I wanted my piece of him.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! tell me what you think, I know it's short but I already have the next chapter written and it's much longer, I just needed to set it up with this one.**

 **thanks guys, love you!**

 **-V**


	20. Chapter 20: Bloodstains on Hardwood

_Chapter 20- Jacob_

I knew that the first few days of being home weren't going to be easy, but I had no idea it would be this bad.

Nessie seemed to be taking a little longer than expected to readjust. Which would be fine, if we had the time to spare. Joham's movements were becoming harder for Alice to track, and she was also having to watch the Volturi.

The Volturi were trying to intercept Joham on his way here and prevent us from having to deal with him at all. You would think Joham would be more interested in them. After all, they had his kids (if you could call them that).

But, no. For whatever reason, he wanted Nessie. It didn't add up. And it wasn't as if Ness was volunteering information to help us fill in the gaps. I kept any frustration that I had out of sight, but it was becoming clear that Edward was running out of patience.

When he saw us yesterday, the first thing he said to me was, "How is it that she looks worse than she did three days ago?" I was taken aback. _Did she?_ She still had a fair amount of bruises, and her lip hadn't quite healed yet. But I could see what he meant; she seemed to be getting paler. Despite the fact that in the past few days she had seen more sun than Forks sees in a whole year.

But we'd been home almost a whole day now, and she hasn't exactly gotten any better. She lets me sit next to her, but that's about the maximum level of contact she's comfortable with. It's been hard for the Cullens to adapt, to say the least. I had had the advantage of a few extra days to get used to her, and I could tell Edward and Bella were grateful for her growing comfort around me.

I kept the pack away from the house, patrolling nearby. It was enough to have the Denalis here, although they mostly kept themselves scarce, probably hiding out at the cottage.

It was safe to say that everyone was on edge.

Emmett and Jasper joined the pack on patrol, just for the sake of having something to do that was away from the house. Edward told me earlier that Jasper could hardly stand to be around Ness—to feel what she was feeling. But I felt it, too. The difference was that I couldn't outrun it, even if I wanted to.

Nessie's movement beside me pulled me out of my thoughts. She leaned her head on my shoulder, and I froze, not wanting to spook her. We were enjoying a rare moment alone in the Cullen's living room, a movie playing that neither of us were watching. The Denalis and a few Cullens had gone hunting, nearby no doubt. No one would have been willing to go far.

She shifted uncomfortably.

"Jacob," she whined, surprising me. The way she said my name, like it was a plea, sent a pang of nervousness through me. Before I could respond, she hopped up from the couch and ran inhumanly fast into the kitchen, a hand pressed over her mouth. I jumped up after her to see her leaned over the sink, vomiting a fountain of blood.

I didn't think, or feel, there was no time for that; there was only time for movement. I was at her side in an instant, ignoring her feeble attempts to push me away. When I brushed her hair away from her face to keep it out of the blood, I could feel how hot she was. The crimson red dripped into the sink in copious amounts that made my own stomach turn.

Rubbing her back, I yelled for Edward, although he was already there, pushing his way in. At first I didn't understand his immediate sense of urgency and desperation, because it was just blood. After all, blood made up most of Nessie's diet.

Then I remembered: she hadn't eaten anything since we'd gotten home. And this led to my next revelation that, _Oh. The blood was hers._

And it just kept coming, profusely, overwhelmingly, in between her sobs. I rubbed her back up and down, not knowing what to do.

Bella was there next, staring, horrified. She didn't move when Edward yelled at her to call Carlisle. She didn't even flinch. I followed her gaze downward to Renesmee's white pants, and the growing scarlet stain that was clearly visible as she leaned over the sink. And then I was staring too, entranced by the speed at which the bright red blood seeped through the soft cotton.

I didn't understand what this meant, or what I should do. Edward's eyes met mine for an instant, and it was unnerving to see that he looked just as distressed as I felt.

Every sob that came from Ness squeezed at my heart, and I was seriously questioning how much more I could take. I could have cried with relief when Carlisle swept in, and I let him take my place at the sink. She had stopped vomiting long enough for Carlisle to bombard her with questions about what she was feeling, though she was crying too hard to answer, doubled over in pain and clutching at her stomach.

Without warning, she pulled away from Edward and Carlisle harshly, like their hands were made of fire. I saw that Edward's shirt was now more red than grey, and I was surprised to see that mine looked very similar.

Ness wrapped her arms around herself, trembling. I moved towards her instinctively. She had backed herself into the corner, and Carlisle had his hands out at his sides, warning Edward and Bella to give her space. I stayed where I was, five feet away from her.

"Renesmee," I pleaded with her, falling to my knees. "Talk to me. Everything is okay; you're okay. Please, just talk to me."

"I can't," She sobbed, tears running down her cheeks. My eyes flickered down to the dark blood pooling at her feet as it ran down her legs, and I wondered how she much more she could have left.

"Why, honey?" I asked, eager to keep her talking. I was vaguely aware of the presence of more Cullens in the background.

"He's still out there," her voice broke. "It's not safe. I can't…" She trailed off.

"Ness," Carlisle tried, softly. _"You are safe_. You're here, with us, and we love you." She sunk all the way to the floor, her back pressed against the wall. She didn't say anything, so Carlisle continued. "Renesmee, you've lost a lot of blood. You're malnourished and dehydrated. You aren't thinking clearly, sweetheart. Please, let us help you." I saw Rosalie sink to the floor, landing on her knees beside Bella. "You have to tell us what happened so that we can help you," the doctor continued, an authoritative edge to his voice that was rarely heard.

Nessie took a deep, shaky breath. She nodded weakly, her eyes cast downward. Her skin had taken on a green hue and she looked like she could pass out at any moment. She became aware of the blood that had accumulated between her legs, and I saw her eyes widen in alarm. "I'm bleeding," she said, and before anyone could respond, she was passed out cold.

I rushed forward to grab her before her head could hit the hardwood.

"Bring her into my study," Carlisle ordered as I picked her up off of the floor, leaving behind a circle of dark red. When I turned, I saw that the only vampires left in the room were Edward, Bella, and Rosalie.

"The blood was too much," Edward said, as a way of explanation.I nodded, letting him lead the way into the study, where Carlisle had somehow manifested a sterile-looking metal table that I laid Nessie on. My arms were sticky, coated in her blood, and I realized that she couldn't _possibly_ have much left to bleed. But it kept coming, already pooling under her onto the cool metal. The smell was starting to get to me.

"Why is there so much?" I heard myself ask, but my mind was too fuzzy to pay attention to Edward's reply. He and Carlisle were blurs of motion as they moved around the room, gathering supplies. A mountain of blood bags had appeared on the desk. They started cutting her clothes off, and I became aware of my violent trembling.

"Jacob," Edward's cool hand was on my arm. "Why don't you go get some air?"

Was he crazy? "I'm not leaving her."

"With the amount of blood she lost, she's going to be out for a while. We have it under control. Go check on Bella."

I hesitated. It couldn't hurt to clean myself up a little, at least get a new shirt on. And there wasn't anything particularly useful I could do in here.

"Okay," I agreed, "Call for me if _anything_ happens,"

"I will," Edward promised, his attention already back on his daughter. I stole one more glance at her, just in time to see Carlisle slide an IV into the pale, bruised flesh of her arm. I silently promised her that I'd be right back.

Walking out of the room felt like a betrayal, but I knew that she couldn't have been in better hands.

I found Bella and Rosalie sitting on the ground where we'd left them, clutching each other. Esme was already working at the bloodstains on the hardwood, and she had filled the sink with soapy water, the scent of bleach permeating the air.

Before I could ask, she handed me a clean shirt. "Here," she smiled gently. "I'll trade you."

I pulled my shirt, stiff with blood, over my head and handed it to her. She held her breath as she took it and tossed it into a bin, along with the red-stained towels she had used to clean.

"Do you want to shower?" Esme asked softly, eyeing the blood caked on my arms and hands. I don't know how or why, but when the unspoken weight of her question sunk in, my whole resolve crumbled. I started to cry, right there in the middle of the Cullen's living room. I couldn't take it anymore. This whole thing was _so_ fucked. What had Renesmee ever done to _anyone_ to deserve this? I would give anything to make it better for her, and I just couldn't. No one could.

I somehow ended up on my knees, and then Bella was there, hugging me to her chest. "She's going to be fine." She said firmly, stroking my hair. I wanted to ask her how she could _possibly_ be sure of that, but I knew she wasn't any surer than I was.

We sat in a heap on the floor, holding each other, until long after the sun had set.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **hey guys! I know you haven't heard from me since like February, sorry! But better late than never, right? If you're still here with me then you have outstanding patience, and I thank you. I decided to take a new route with the story, so I've rewritten some stuff to make it a little different. I should be wrapping it up within another five or so chapters. I promised I'd finish, and I will. You'll be hearing from me again soon.**

 _ **xoxo,**_

 _ **Vanessa**_


	21. Chapter 21: Time

_Chapter 21- Renesmee_

The first thing I was aware of was that I was alive. But I was in too much pain to be as grateful as I should've been. My head was pounding, and the bite on my neck felt like someone had squeezed lemon juice into it. But that wasn't really anything compared to the knife twisting in my abdomen, which seemed to come in the same intense waves as the dull ache in my back. And the cold metal underneath my skin didn't seem to be helping any.

I could hear soft, familiar voices nearby, but my head was too fuzzy to separate the individual words, or to even begin to decipher them. I didn't feel any movement, but I realized that the cold metal was gone, and something soft and warm had taken its place. I drifted in and out of consciousness, never coherent enough to speak, or even open my eyes.

I noticed there was silence for what felt like a long time, and I became slightly more aware. I felt Jacob's hot hands holding one of mine in between them. I heard him speaking softly to someone—Mom? She shushed him, and then I heard my name.

She kept saying it over and over, stroking my hair gently. I felt like something was stuck to the side of my face, so I tried to touch my cheek to feel. But before I could feel around too much, a cool hand stopped my fingers in their tracks and lowered my hand back down to my side.

Pain shot through my torso again, worse than before, and I couldn't help but whine in agony.

Then there were more voices around me, and hearing Jacob's pulled me a little further into consciousness. He sounded upset, and he was getting louder.

Someone said something about painkillers, and I let out a whimper as a way of saying _dear god, yes, please._ There was more mumbling, and I felt Jacob's thumbs tracing gentle circles on my palm. I wanted to squeeze his fingers back, to let him know that I knew he was here, but I couldn't summon the strength. I heard the deep rumble of his voice speaking lowly to me. "It's okay, baby. You're okay." He said, and I tried to believe him.

It was only moments before I felt something cool begin to seep into my blood, and then my body was flooded with a feeling of warmth and heaviness that was undoubtedly the result of a very heavy pain reliever. _Lovely_.

I felt myself start to fade, so rapidly that it should have been distressing, but I couldn't have cared any less.

* * *

 _Jacob_

Some part of me knew. I was sure of that.

But there's a big difference between knowing something and admitting it to yourself. Even if I didn't know exactly what had happened, I also hadn't allowed myself to venture any guesses.

There were only a handful of possibilities that came to the back of my mind when she started bleeding like that. I wasn't a complete idiot, but I also knew better than to make assumptions when it came to Renesmee. But if I didn't know before, I should have known the second Edward stepped out of the study. I could hear Renesmee's heart beating strongly, but Edward's eyes were so burning, so agonized, you would have thought someone had died.

But like everyone else, my understanding didn't come until he said the word. The three-syllable, eleven-letter word that had just been like any other word until this moment. Now it wasn't a word, but a threat. A consequence. A nightmare.

Miscarriage.

 _Miscarriage._

At first, nobody moved. Nobody spoke.

"What?" Bella asked after a beat, her features genuinely confused.

So then he said it again, as if once wasn't enough.

The anger that coursed through me was unlike anything I'd ever felt. It was paralyzing, worse than fear. I somehow got outside, though I was shaking so bad I couldn't imagine working a door handle.

I didn't want to phase. The pack was nearby, and I didn't want them all in my head right now.

What I really wanted to do was run. At every other point in my life that I felt anything even close to this, I would phase, and I would run the other way and not look back for a long, long time.

But now, I didn't even consider this to be a possibility. I couldn't be away from her, especially not now. All I could see was red, and I barely registered the pain in my foot as I kicked a young oak tree, snapping it in half.

I looked up at the sky and breathed in the early morning air. The sun wouldn't be up for another couple hours, but I had a hard time believing it was going to come up at all today. It didn't seem right for anything to just continue on as normal. I wanted something to stall, to give us back the time we had lost and then some, to figure out where to go from here.

Because where were we supposed to go? She had a _miscarriage_. Not only did this confirm my greatest fear, but it added a whole other factor that I didn't think I would ever be ready to face.

It meant that just _yesterday_ she had been pregnant. Had she known?

I couldn't think about that.

Even worse than that, I was _glad_ she had miscarried. This was so selfish it made me sick, but I couldn't help it. It was just too overwhelming to consider what the alternative would have been.

Just thinking about what _he_ had done to her… I didn't have the words to describe it. But it was nothing short of murder. The murder of her soul. Of her innocence. That still seemed too mild a description.

My mind went back to the way she looked when I found her. The blind terror in her eyes; the way she flinched away from my touch. And all of the hand-shaped bruises that decorated her soft skin…

Before I could stop myself, a redwood in my path was toppling over, and I felt the ache of a few broken knuckles.

And I was about to do it again, but Edward's voice rang in my ear. "Is that actually going to help anything?"

I turned to see him standing rigidly by the front door.

"I'm not in the mood for a lecture."

"Good, neither am I."

I took a step towards him. "Did you know?"

His expression turned to exasperation. "Did I know what?"

"What he did to her." I couldn't bring myself to be any more specific than that.

Edward hesitated. "No, not exactly. Her thoughts have been unbelievably well-guarded, even for her."

I swallowed my frustration. "You must have suspected."

He grimaced. "As did you. I didn't want to believe it any more than you did."

I sat on the porch, thinking about this. It was obvious, in hindsight. Why he took her, why he's so desperate to get her back, why he wanted her in the first place… The answers are all the same.

Edward nodded thoughtfully. There was a moment of silence, and then he said, "I don't know what I'm going to tell her when she wakes up. She'll be devastated to know that _we_ know what happened."

That was for sure the worst part of all of this; the fact that she felt like she had to keep it a secret. That was so much for her to carry all by herself, and for what?

"For you," Edward answered. "For Bella and I. For all of us, I would imagine."

"I wonder where she could've gotten that from." I grumbled, kicking at a rock. "Why are you so calm, anyways?"

"I'm not," he said through clenched teeth. "But anger can always wait, Jacob. What's more important? Getting revenge, or making sure she's okay?"

I didn't answer. He knew what I was thinking.

From inside, I hear Emmett's booming voice, clearly angry.

Aggravated, Edward turned to go back inside and I heard him hiss, "Lower your voice."

I followed, and entered in time to see the standoff between Alice and Emmett.

"He's on his way here," Emmett was saying, clearly upset. "Let's let him come right to us. You can't tell me you don't want to see him suffer, Ali."

"That's irrelevant." Alice looked beyond irritated, holding her head in between her hands. She was standing on the ottoman so she could be eye-to-eye with Emmett. "He's coming after Nessie because he thinks she's pregnant. That's what _all_ of this is about. If we could just... _communicate_ to him that she isn't, we could end this."

"What, so he can turn around and run the other way?" Emmett argued. "He's crazy. We can't just let him go!"

"The Volturi will deal with him." Alice retorted flatly.

"You don't know that," Emmett said darkly. "They're just as psycho as he is. The only way to end this is to do it ourselves."

Emmett looked at me for help, thinking that I, if anyone, would agree with him. But I wasn't so sure that I did.

So instead I asked Alice, "Can you see when he'll be here?"

Her eyes glazed over, and she was silent, concentrating. "Tomorrow," she finally said. "Just before dawn. The guard will be close behind."

"We can't let him come all the way here. Or the Volturi. I won't let any of them get this close to her." Bella's voice came quietly from her seat at the table, her hand grasping Esme's.

As if on cue, I heard Nessie shift upstairs, and she let out a soft whimper. In a flash, I was following Edward and Bella up the stairs, to Edward's old bedroom.

We rushed in to see Ness still fast asleep on the small white bed. Carlisle hovered around her, adjusting bandages and tubes.

The blood had been cleaned from her skin, and someone had dressed her in clean clothes. There was still an IV in her arm, and another thin tube snaked out of her nose and was secured to the side of her cheek with medical tape. Both ran with donated blood, one into her bloodstream and the other into her stomach.

Though I wasn't particularly a fan of her being fed blood somewhat against her will, Carlisle said that it was necessary to stabilize her. She was, apparently, very malnourished. There was no doubt she _looked_ better, much more alive. Her cheeks had some color, and her wounds and bruises had visibly faded.

I pulled a chair up to her bedside and I held her free hand, careful of the yellowing bruises on her wrists. Bella sat at the foot of the bed, smoothing the sheets nervously.

There was a new, clean bandage over the side of Nessie's neck, and Edward peeled it back, slowly and gently. I looked away, until I saw the surprise that crossed Bella's face as she peered closer.

The surrounding flesh of her neck was no longer red and angry, and the teeth marks were starting to form scabs, some parts even puckering into pink scar tissue.

"She's healing," Edward stated, clearly relieved.

"Why is she healing so much faster than before?" Bella asked, staring at Carlisle intently.

"The pregnancy," he began, eyeing me warily when I flinched at the word, "even in its early stages, placed enough stress on her body that her healing abilities were compromised."

"She'll be okay?" Bella's fingertips brushed the side of Ness's face, tucking her curls behind her ear.

"In time," Carlisle promised. He looked at Edward and nodded knowingly, and they both excused themselves from the room. Bella was immediately peeved that she wasn't included in whatever private conversation they were going to have, but I couldn't have cared less.

I took Nessie's hand in both of mine and pressed her fingers to my lips. Her skin felt good against mine, warm and solid.

"Are _you_ going to be okay?" Bella questioned, and I could feel her eyes studying me.

"Yeah," I sighed, keeping my eyes on Nessie. "As long as she is."

Bella pursed her lips, thinking. She opened her mouth as if to say something, and then closed it again.

"What?" I asked, looking at her.

"Nothing," She smiled, amused. "You're just different."

"What do you mean?"

"I expected you to be angrier."

"I am angry."

"Yeah, but you aren't letting it overtake you like you used to."

I shrugged, unsure of how to respond. "I guess there've just been more important things."

She nodded, toying with one of Nessie's curls. "It's been interesting," she murmured, looking down at her daughter and then back at me, "watching you change for her."

I wasn't sure what to say to that. "I love her." I eventually replied. I watched her chest rise and fall gently, and I thought about what a miracle that was, that she was here and I was here and we loved each other so much. "Loving her has made me better," I continued. "I guess… she makes me feel alive. And that's all I ever wanted."

Bella smiled to herself and said softly, "I know." She laughed suddenly, the sound comforting. "You're also much more sappy, apparently."

"Screw you," I laughed with her until her face turned serious and she shushed me, gesturing to Nessie, who was staring to wake. Her hand immediately came up to her face, and her fingers traced the tube going into her nose.

"Renesmee?" Bella murmured, gently removing Nessie's fingers from her cheek.

Ness whimpered in response, and I could tell it was in pain. Her eyelashes fluttered, but ended up staying closed. I gave her hand a small squeeze to let her know I was there.

Suddenly, a sharp pain in my gut knocked all of the air out of me, and it kept coming, almost in waves. I quickly realized that it was Nessie's pain, that she was projecting it to me through her grip on my hand. It was only getting worse.

"She needs painkillers," I said loudly, sure that either Edward or Carlisle would hear me. Nessie groaned, as if to agree with me.

Edward sped back into the room, a syringe in hand. I cursed as another wave of pain radiated through my lower back. I resisted the urge to let go of her hand; if she had to feel it, I wanted to feel it.

Edward frowned at me. "She wouldn't want you to be doing that," he said, nodding at our connected hands.

I ignored him, watching him slide the needle into her IV. I rubbed circles on the back of her hand, watching her face scrunch up in pain. "I know, I know," I said to her lowly, kissing the side of her face. "It's okay, baby. You're okay." I wondered if she could hear me.

"She can," Edward said, handing Carlisle a bag of blood.

Within a minute, the pain began to subside, and I breathed a sigh of relief. "Better?" Bella asked me anxiously, and I nodded. Nessie's grip on my hand loosened completely, and I knew she was unconscious.

Edward looked at her for a long moment, and then sighed, running his hands through his hair. His worry and exhaustion made him look much older. He looked like a dad. He rolled his eyes at my thought, and then pulled the loveseat from across the room closer to Nessie's bed. He sat down and opened his arm for Bella, who didn't hesitate to curl up into his side. I knew they weren't going anywhere for a while.

I felt a stone hand on my shoulder, and Carlisle said, "She's going to be out for a few hours, Jacob. Why don't you go get some rest, maybe something to eat?"

"Thanks, Doc," I shook my head, shrugging off his hand. "But I really don't think I can leave her. Not now."

He nodded like he understood. "I'll be back to check on her in a few minutes."

The first bit of sun was starting to come up over the treetops, and I thought again about how wrong that felt, how time kept moving no matter how far behind I was falling. Time was merciless. You'd think I'd know that by now.

* * *

 **a/n:**

 **chapter 21! I hope you enjoyed;)**

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 **Vanessa**


	22. Chapter 22: Don't Wanna Know

_Chapter 22- Renesmee_

The instant I saw his face, I knew something was wrong. I looked away from his dark eyes so I wouldn't have to ask. _Don't tell me_ , I wanted to say. _I don't know how much more I can take._

So instead I looked out the window, at the familiar grey sky that I would never take for granted ever again, no matter how many days it relentlessly hid the sun from my view.

In an instant, Jacob switched places with Dad, who put a finger under my chin and guided me up to meet his golden irises. I tried to read them, but there was some kind of deep anguish there that I knew I couldn't understand.

"Love," he said gently, forcing me to hold his gaze, "What's the last thing you remember?"

Over his shoulder I could see Mom. My eyes flickered to hers, and she gave me a reassuring smile. Granddad stood back, watching and waiting for my answer.

"Uh, I—" I hesitated, trying to think back. "I remember blood," I said, and saw Jacob grimace. "There was a lot of blood…" The details were a blur, which I was grateful for. What I did remember seemed gruesome enough.

I remembered the taste of my own blood in my mouth, the way it dripped into the white sink… I closed my eyes, remembering the way it pooled under me… between my legs.

I jerked my chin away from my father, racking my brain for more information. I remembered waking up earlier, just conscious enough to feel the excruciating pain that radiated through my torso. But upon assessment now, I felt fine. Good, even. Even the annoying plastic tubes I remembered were now gone.

I thought back, remembering the pain. Before I could stop it, the next thought hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt stupid for not thinking of it sooner. I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing myself, and I knew I'd have to say it before I lost my nerve. "Um, am I," I took a deep breath. "Am I pregnant?"

My question was met with a long silence. My parents shared a look. I glanced over at Jacob, who had his eyes fixed on the floor. My heart did a lurch and then doubled in speed.

I didn't feel pregnant. Did I? How was I supposed to know what that felt like? I had known that the possibility was there, but I had told myself that it was so unlikely that I shouldn't worry about it. But a very small part of me had thought about it, had considered what it could mean. But I was a _hybrid_. The chances were so slim.

It shouldn't be possible. But then again, neither should I.

Nobody seemed eager to break the silence, and I started to panic.

I would ask Carlisle to get rid of it. I couldn't have a baby. Not now, not like this. It was wrong, unnatural. If I was going to have a baby, I would do it because I wanted to, not because I was being forced to.

"Renesmee."

No matter what I decided to do, Jacob would never touch me again. How could I expect him to? I hadn't even been honest with him about what happened. Even before this happened I didn't deserve him. But now, I never would.

"Renesmee!" I saw Dad's face in front of mine, felt his hands on my shoulders. "Stop that," he said firmly. "You aren't pregnant."

"I—I'm not?" I was flooded with something that was easy to pretend was purely relief.

But that didn't explain why Jacob still wouldn't look at me. Not that I could blame him. He now knew what Joham did, and he would never look at me the same way again. Even Mom was keeping her eyes away from mine. I was used, dirty. Damaged goods.

My dad moved his icy hands up to my face, forcing me to look at him. " _Stop_ that," he repeated. "Nothing could ever happen to make anyone in this room love you any less, or think any less of you. Do you understand?"

His voice was harsh, and I felt my eyes sting. _Then what's wrong?_ I demanded silently. _Why are you the only one in this room who can stand to look at me?_

He suddenly looked guilty. He glanced back at Mom, and she came to his side.

"You aren't pregnant," he repeated, gently.

"Not anymore." Mom added, her voice small.

I blinked, unable to comprehend her words.

"Honey?" She said softly, seeing my confusion. "Do you understand what we're saying?" When I didn't answer, she nudged Dad out of the way and sat beside me on the bed, her hand moving up to stroke my hair. She said the words slowly, like she speaking to a toddler. "You had a miscarriage yesterday. You aren't pregnant."

The weight of her words settled heavily over the room, and I tried to make sense of them. A wave of nausea rolled through me. "But I was." It wasn't a question, but I still saw my parents nod solemnly. They watched me with wide eyes, waiting for a reaction that I just didn't have in me to give them.

When you get knocked down enough times, it's easier to just stay on the ground.

"—It also could have been the venom," I tuned back in to hear the tail end of whatever Dad was trying to explain to me. "Much of the bleeding was due to your body trying to rid itself of the venom that remained in your system. The termination of the pregnancy could have simply been a by-product of that process." He kept talking, but that was the extent of my listening. I knew he was just trying to rationalize it to help me understand, but I couldn't listen anymore if I wanted to bite back the rising nausea.

Suddenly a familiar scent wafted in from downstairs, and I felt the rising panic settle in as the smell hit me. _No way_ , I thought. _He's not here._

But then I heard him. I felt the blood drain from my face. His soothing accented voice was speaking lowly, somewhere below me.

And before Dad could get out, "It's just Nauhel," I was already in the bathroom across the hall, dry heaving into the toilet.

* * *

 _Jacob_

I had stayed with her until she woke, watching her carefully, her hand in mine. Nahuel arrived this afternoon, wanting to be here when Joham arrived. He had been following after the Volturi to keep an eye on his sisters, but Alice called him to let him know Joham would come in the morning. He wanted a piece of the confrontation that was bound to ensue. We all did.

The Cullens welcomed him with open arms after all he did for Ness, but I hadn't even said a word to him yet. All of the gratitude in the world couldn't make me leave her side. The entire time she was asleep, I didn't take my eyes off of her for a second.

But once her big brown eyes opened, I couldn't seem to meet them with mine. For the first time ever, I didn't have any idea how to talk to her. There was nothing I could say to make her feel okay.

When Edward motioned for me to move so he could take my place beside her, I willingly let go of her hand. If he knew what to say, he could be my guest.

When he started to talk to her, I had to look away. I knew that if I was looking at her eyes when they said the word, I'd lose it.

I expected her to be emotional. I expected her to be devastated, and angry, and maybe lock herself in her bedroom and cry. I could picture it: she would be inconsolable, and I would sit on the other side of the door and beg her to open up, to let me in so I could hold her and kiss her tears away. She'd let me in after a while, and her eyes would be puffy and red, but she would give me a small smile and tell me that she was okay, and we'd sit and talk.

That was how I thought it would unfold. I should've known better, because Nessie didn't do any of these things.

Initially, she was confused. Bella asked her if she understood, and I looked up to see her expression blank, reactionless.

She sat and coolly listened to her parents explain and clarify, letting Bella stroke her hair. I could tell she wasn't really listening, but she sat patiently. I heard Nahuel speak to someone downstairs, and Nessie suddenly went rigid. She stood abruptly, the color draining from her face.

"Ness?" Edward frowned, clearly not understanding her thoughts. "It's just Nahuel," he started to say, but she was already in the bathroom, vomiting.

We all sat there for a moment, a little stunned, and by the time I felt the urge to go after her, she was back. She looked a little paler, and she had pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail. Her features remained emotionless, and Edward asked her if she was okay.

"When will Joham be here?" She said evenly, ignoring his question altogether. She probably figured that's why Nahuel was here.

"Tomorrow morning," Bella replied, clearly concerned. "Around dawn."

Renesmee was silent, but apparently her thoughts were not. Edward snapped at her, "He's not going to get anywhere near you."

"You're just going to kill him, then? And you think that'll just be the end of it?" Her voice raised an octave, taking on a shrill edge.

Edward stared at her, his brows furrowing. "Renesmee," he said lowly, standing. "That _will_ be the end of it. Why would it not?"

She opened her mouth to answer and then closed it again. Her chocolate eyes found mine, and I held her gaze as she said, "I can't imagine how anything is ever going to be okay again." Her eyes filled with tears, and she tore them away from mine.

My heart broke. Right there, in that instant, I swear the sound was audible. It must have been, because Nessie looked up at me, right into my eyes. She looked so sad and so beautiful, and before I realized what I was doing, I had crossed the room and pulled her into my arms.

I held her tightly, feeling every inch of her body pressed up against mine. She tensed a little before relaxing into me, standing on her toes so she could press her face into my neck. I breathed in her scent, my face in her curls.

For the first time in a long time, I could take a deep breath. I could let myself relax, even if for just a moment. Because I had her, and I wasn't ever going to let her go.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Hey guys sorry this is a bit short, more to come soon! Thanks for reading, and remember to let me know what you think!**

 **-Vanessa**


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